The Park Bench

I've moved!

2011-07-15T17:58:00.002-05:00

Hi there! If you happen to be reading this blog, I just wanted to let you know that I've got a new site called Monstrous Little Voices which is pretty much just more of me rambling. I'm leaving The Park Bench up for as long as I can afford it, but if you want to check out any new oddness from me, please come visit MLV. Thanks, and have a great day!

Remembrance of nerdy things past

2010-04-28T06:16:00.000-05:00

Seven years ago, my husband and I moved into our house. The move from our apartment was anything but organized and it amounted, on the last day, to us basically throwing things into the trunks of our cars and then throwing those things into closets that we never opened again.

Now we're doing some deep cleaning, and I'm unearthing items long forgotten, including all of the things that offer irrefutable evidence of the fact that I have, actually, been a nerd my entire life. Among the geek-tastic items I've rediscovered:

+ A Star Trek: The Next Generation tricorder, given to me by equally nerdy friends as a gift on my 21st birthday. So yes, while other 21-year-olds were boozing it up on their big nights, I was scanning the sidewalk for dilithium.

+ A poem written by me, as a sixth grader, entitled "Ode on a Grecian Badger." I'll leave the content of that poem to your collective imaginations. Hint: it involves a badger.

+ A box the size of a Subaru filled with Star Trek novels. I pretended to be a literary snob in high school and college and used to force my then-boyfriend to buy the Star Trek novels for me as I stood in line next to him, holding my Times Literary Supplement beard, and shaking my head in mock disgust at his taste in fiction. Yes, I was a jerk.

+ An equally giant box filled with X-Files magazines, which was apparently my equivalent of porn because it was at the bottom of the closet and buried discretely under bank statements.

+ A slightly smaller box filled with Buffy shooting scripts. I'm not apologizing for that one. Instead, I will simply congratulate myself on not putting on my glasses and spending the rest of the night in a script-reading haze.

+ Pictures of Marina Sirtis and Michael Dorn from the one and only Star Trek convention I ever attended. Now, I'm a fan of the conventions -- you know that about me -- but seriously, that was a scary crowd. Looking at the photo of Marina and Michael, I'm pretty sure they felt the same way. Of course, they could have just been scared of me, what with my filthy X-Files predilections.

+ Speaking of conventions, there's my "MST3K Conventio-Con Expo Fest-a-rama 1994" t-shirt! And my Satellite of Love pin. I wonder how many staff meetings I can wear that pin to before someone realizes what it is. Note to self: I now have the most awesome secret mission EVER.

+ A G-rated "Remington Steele"/"Black Stallion" crossover fan fiction, proudly signed by my nine-year-old self. Seriously. I signed it. What the hell?

And there you have it...The Closet Tour 2010: Full Disclosure. You may now point and mock, if so inclined. Or, you know, if you'd like to buy a case of Star Trek novels, I know someone who can hook you up.

Nimoy and pie! Two delicious things that taste great...no wait, that's creepy.

2010-04-21T19:16:00.006-05:00

In honor of Leonard Nimoy, who yesterday announced his retirement from acting, I offer you this link to the Tumblr site "Nimoy Sunset Pie." You know how the title sounds kind of crazy and surreal? The site does not disappoint! For example, we have:

If I could fill my brain with awesome things every day, they would all look like this. I'm trying to think of a way I could get this tramp-stamped on my person.

Also, now I'm hungry...and want to watch "Fringe."

So long, Leonard. You were the most talented and least crazy member of the original "Star Trek" cast, and I always loved you for it. That and you always knew how to fill out a blue velour shirt. Le rowr and prosper, my friend.

Thank you to Ruth for the link!

My approval goes up to Eleven

2010-04-19T07:31:00.000-05:00

Ooh, flashy light.

Say, how about this new "Doctor Who" fella? I like him! And, despite only having one episode to base this opinion on, I'm feeling pretty good about the new Moffat era of "Who"-dom.

Yes, I decided to be a good, honest, law-abiding American citizen and wait until this past Saturday to watch "The Eleventh Hour" on BBC America. It was totally worth the wait. Even my husband, who swore he would hate it just to show his allegiance to Tennant, was won over by the end of the episode.

I really loved the whole hour and will go out on a limb here and say I thought it was the best Doctor debut episode in all of new "Who" -- and I say this as a huge fan of Tennant's "Christmas Invasion." I thought "Eleventh Hour" was a rich, heartfelt, full story that went a long way toward establishing the differences between Ten and Eleven.

Right from the start, Matt Smith just owns the Eleventh Doctor. He's quirky and mad and funny in a dry, sophisticated gentleman way. He exudes a maturity that's in full keeping with a 900 plus year old time lord and goes way beyond what I would have expected from a 26 year old actor. His scenes with a young Amy were beautifully done. It wasn't cutesy or schmaltzy or any of the other horrible adjectives you could apply to a scene about a poor abandoned girl and a mysterious alien. Instead, it was sweet and touching...and hilarious. And I got honest-to-goodness teary-eyed when poor little Amy sat down on her suitcase to wait for the Doctor. It touched on every disappointing moment any child has ever suffered through.

Speaking of Amy, I like the grown-up version. I'm not quite 100 percent sold on Karen Gillan the way I am with Smith, but she's got a great energy and a terrific chemistry with Smith. And on my husband's behalf, I'm supposed to say she's hot, too.

I'm liking the new TARDIS too and sincerely hoping we'll actually get to see the swimming pool. And the library. And the library in the swimming pool.

Overall, I give this episode a solid A, and I can't wait for next week.

So what did you guys think?

Alice Forgets What the Dormouse Said

2010-04-09T07:42:00.000-05:00

(I'm turning over the blog this afternoon to Brodie H. Brockie, Michigan-based international man of mystery and editor of the Cap'n Wacky's Boatload of Fun site. He's got an insightful review of the "Alice in Wonderland" movie, so enjoy! And be sure to share your thoughts on the flick, too.)

I hated Tim Burton's "Alice in Wonderland" for a wide variety of reasons. I could go on at length (and have to some of my more patient friends) about how it bungles many of the characterizations and ideas in Carroll's two Alice novels, and about how the whole experiment feels like the worst kind of internet fan fiction writ large (creepy sexual tension between characters with no such relationship in the original much?), but I realize I'm in the minority for caring about those things. Instead, allow to me explain why I consider Burton's "Alice in Wonderland" a failure in and of itself, and it's cheap attempts at girl-power sentiment actually a bit counter-feminist.

At the start of the movie, we meet Alice, a teenage girl on the verge of womanhood who lives life in a sort of frustrated stupor. Her father used to support Alice's independent thinking and vivid imagination, but since his death, everyone has been telling her what to do, how to dress, how to behave, what to talk about, and what to think about. All of this is pushing her toward making one terrible mistake: accepting a marriage proposal from a big-nosed, weak-chinned, stuff-shirted twit. At the moment of truth, Alice at least has enough spirit left in her to ask for a moment to consider, runs away, spots the White Rabbit, and falls down a hole into a world she'd dreamed about as a child.

Once there, what happens? Naturally, in this weird, dreamlike funhouse mirror world Alice encounters a twisted version of what was happening above: everyone is telling her what they expect of her, what she should do, how she should behave, how she should dress, and what their society demands of her. Granted, some of the things they're telling her are more positive: she needs to be stronger, more vibrant, and she needs to slay the Jabberwock.

It's her destiny, they tell her.

The problem is, what NO ONE wants her to do, above or below, is the one thing little Alice had been so good at. No one wants Alice to actually think for herself.

So what happens? Incredibly, Alice goes along with the demands of the Wonderland (now - gag - Underland) crowd, suits up in armor far more constricting than the corsets she's complained about previously, and slays the Jabberwock, helping overthrow one monarch with another that she (and the audience) knows pretty much nothing about (if this Wonderland was really the more mature story it wants to be, wouldn't we need to know more about the "good" queen than she wears all white and talks in a lilting voice. Are people really buying white=good as a mature update?).

To reiterate: the story tells us everything that's going to happen as soon as Alice arrives in Wonderland, and then goes through with it just as it laid it out. Not only is that boring storytelling, it's nonsensical (and not in a fun way) as far as Alice's development. How does she gain the internal fortitude to tell the stuffy English to stop bossing her around by ACCEPTING the Underlanders bossing her around?

Worse, the script almost stumbles upon a much better idea: early on, Alice encounters the Bandersnatch - he's no Jabberwock, but he's a pretty fierce creature too. Alice is saved from his initial attack by the Dormouse who pokes out the beast's eye. Later, to get by the Bandersnatch, Alice returns the eye, and this act of kindness transforms the monster into an affectionate ally.

This plot point would've been a great micro-version of the encounter with the Jabberwock. A thinking Alice might've had a conversation with the monster, found out what it wanted, killed it with kindness, and turned it into an ally against the Red Queen. Instead, she does the most boring thing possible - the very thing everyone has told her to do - the very thing we were told she would do over an hour before - off with its head! Yawn.

Some hail this as girl-power progress. Sorry: a smart lady turning off her best weapon and picking up a sword instead is no kind of progress at all.

Contrariwise, it's nonsense.

Dr. Horrible as 8-bit RPG game

2010-04-07T07:45:00.000-05:00

Found this on Topless Robot -- a site (or a person?) called Doctor Octoroc has redone "Dr. Horrible" as an 8-bit RPG game, complete with awesome Nintendo-style soundtrack. Enjoy!

OUTRAGE! (58 points)

2010-04-06T18:50:00.005-05:00

Well, it's official, the world's gone to hell in a handbasket: Mattel announced today that it's changing Scrabble rules for the first time since 1948 and now we can all use proper nouns...like common people! You can use Jay-Z, presumably without the hyphen, and Zeppo and ZZ Top, if you can magically cough up a second "Z."

This annoys me. First, I'm aggravated because I'm old and don't like change. The addition of new Crayola colors squirrels me up for months. Second, throughout my lazy childhood, I tried probably half a million times to convince susceptible opponents that throwing down the "M-A-R-X" tiles was a totally legitimate move. But because I played with a bunch of ninny rule readers, they shot me down every time. So now, two decades later, Mattel gets around to changing its rules to fit my needs. Thanks for nothing, Barbie-pushers! Too little, too late.

I'm hoping protests break out soon, and we'll all figure out some passive-aggressive way to protest this, like holding little bags of noisy tiles and rattling around behind Mattel executives until they break. Of course, the downside to launching a successful protest is that no one will ever be able to legally immortalize your success by using your name to crush an opponent.

D-A-M-N.

ETA: Or this might be some new urban legend. Oops. I'm still going to try and use it to my advantage wherever and whenever possible.

In which I become kind of bitchy and ask disparaging questions about stupid people

2010-04-05T19:57:00.004-05:00

(Please note: the fact that I'm writing about stupidity guarantees I've made some sort of ass-hatted typo in this post, so I'm asking your forgiveness in advance. Thank you!)

Every time someone rockets into rush-hour traffic like a happy-go-lucky, dumb-ass Starsky and Hutch or uses the word "anonymous" when they mean "unanimous" or insists that Teddy Roosevelt and Franklin Roosevelt are the same interchangeable person, I ask myself the following question: are stupid people happier? And if so, how do I sign up?

Now, I'm no brainiac. Science makes no sense to me and I'm half convinced that physics is some kind of voodoo magic. The only foreign language I ever mastered was a dead one. And math, in my opinion, was something invented by a cruel man with an overfondness for parentheses. The elitist in me, though, does think I'm smarter than the average bear.

I used to think this was a good thing. Being smart meant I could do crossword puzzles and answer questions on "Jeopardy" with enough accuracy to make Alex Trebek choke on his own mustachioed smugness. It meant I could boast about my SAT verbal scores and secretly nursean esoteric crush on William Seward, way-dead secretary of state for Abraham Lincoln. My smartness made me feel special, different from the rest of the herd. (Moo.)

My brand of braininess, though, has yet to earn me a six-figure salary or the ability to figure out the difference between a stock and a bond. (One's a thing you make soup with and the other's played by Daniel Craig's abs, right?) And it hasn't really made me any happier. In fact, it's just given me more things to worry about. Will an asteroid hit the Earth and annihilate us like the dinosaurs? Stupid people don't worry about this -- mostly because they don't believe in dinosaurs. What if climate change kills our crops but someone forgot to close the door on the Doomsday Seed Vault? What if J.D. Salinger was just sitting on his ass all these years and never, ever wrote another story about the Glasses? Stupid people aren't stressing out about this stuff. They're putting quarters up their noses.

I've observed a lot of stupid people in my time, like the guy across the street who can amuse himself for hours by jumping up and down on his doorless car and then chasing the ice cream truck with a baseball bat. (That really happened, by the way. I'm pretty sure our local ice cream truck driver is some sort of pervert, though, so who knows who the bad guy was in that scenario.) There are people who don't even know the Holocaust happened or that Stalin starved millions during World War II -- their brains are untouched by these downers of reality, leaving more room for memorizing Daughtry lyrics. (Sorry, Daughtry fans. And when I say "sorry," I'm apologizing to your ears on your behalf.) And I have to wonder, are these ill-informed people happier than those of us who pay attention to the world around us?

I'm starting to think they are, and it hardly seems fair. Did I study hard in school and read book after book just so I could learn enough to bum me out by middle age? Would I be a more gleeful bunny if I just stopped paying attention and dumbed down? For example, today I found out that NASA is retiring the space shuttle at the end of this year and after that, anyone who wants to go to the International Space Station has to fly in one of those Russian Soyuz spacecrafts, which I'm pretty sure is like being rocketed into space in a Fiat with the windows open. Now, if I'd just remained ignorant about this fact, I'd still be under the impression that space shuttles were flying around in space like perky ten-ton ponies. But no, now I'm wondering if the Soyuz has seatbelts.

So what do you think? Are stupid people happier? Are we brainy types just making life harder for ourselves?

Motley Miscellany of Something or Other

2010-03-31T07:30:00.001-05:00

+ Hey, good news! For the first time in the history of forever, a show starring Nathan Fillion got renewed for a third season. Yep, "Castle" is coming back next year with a full 22-episode season. Finally, the rest of the world gets a clue. Way to go, formerly unobservant TV viewers!!!

+ And in a major victory for celluloid cheese, rumors of not just one but TWO sequels to "Independence Day" have hit the internet. Will Smith is rumored to be on board. My love/hate relationship with "ID4" is so strong I'm almost un-ironically excited about this rumor.

+ Hello, Kitty wine? Yes, please. In fact, I may have to build a wine cellar (or at least dig a shallow hole) for my impending collection.

+ It's time to start shopping for your future cyborg self! Check out all these incredible mechanical people parts that will soon become a reality. Thanks to Daven for the link!

+ Want to take a little trip back in time? Check out this video of "Lost"'s Michael Emerson in 1992 prison training video. And yes, he's creepy in it, bless his little heart. When you're done with that, take a few minutes to watch one of David Tennant's earliest (if not the earliest) roles in an anti-smoking film. It's hilarious, like a charming, lung-saving deleted scene from "Gregory's Girl."

+ In preparation for the new "Who" debut this weekend, here's a clip from episode six, and it's totally made me love this new Doctor. I'm not even on the fence anymore. I am over the fence and laying on the ground, no doubt with an ankle injury of some sort. Anyway, check out the hilarity:

"Life on Mars": yes, it makes more sense than the Bowie song

2010-03-29T07:12:00.000-05:00

Trust us, we couldn't pull off these fashions if we weren't awesome...

So during my three-month-long non-alcoholic lost weekend, I cheered myself up by finally watching all 16 glorious episodes of "Life on Mars" -- the good version, not the American version starring Michael Imperioli's overpowering mutton chops. And I have to say, holy cow, what a great, weird little show.

For those who haven't seen it, "Life on Mars" is a British TV series starring John Simm as a modern-day Manchester police detective named Sam Tyler who is on the trail of a murderer when he's suddenly struck down by a car. When he wakes up, he finds himself in Manchester...in the year 1973. So, he's either gone crazy, is in a coma or perhaps, is dead. (And dear God, he keeps seeing a creepy little girl with a clown.) As he tries to figure out what the hell has happened to him, he keeps up his police work with the 1973-era Manchester police and has to deal with an entirely different world of detecting, where planting evidence and beating the crap out of a suspect won't necessarily put a guy on the naughty list.

"Life on Mars" is part trippy mind-bending mystery, ala "Lost," and part pure cop story with a weekly case to be solved. It's also a love story and a comedy and an examination of cultural clashes.

If it sounds like a goofy premise, well, it is but the beauty of the show is that it only ran 16 episodes so the series never outgrew the constraints of that goofy premise. Instead, each episode feels like a deliberate, well-crafted piece of a really cool puzzle, building to what I have to say is one of the best endings of a TV series ever.

The acting in this show is first-rate, with John Simm absolutely stellar as the very confused yet still incredibly bull-headed Tyler. As someone who had only ever seen Simm as the Master on "Doctor Who" (and, I'm sorry to say, couldn't stand him in the part), I was shocked at how terrific he is in this role. He does a beautiful job of making you wonder whether Tyler truly is crazy or just a poor man stuck in the middle of a truly bizarre metaphysical accident.

Philip Glenister as Gene Hunt, Tyler's supervisor in 1973, is an absolute scene stealer and a perfect foil to Simm's soulful earnestness. Hunt is a complete bastard but totally dynamic and appealing...and fricking hilarious. The rest of the cast is stellar as well, with special mention going to Liz White as Tyler's love interest, Annie, who's trying to make it as a female officer in a very, very sexist era. Imagine a character equal parts bad-ass and adorable -- that's Annie.

If you haven't seen "Life on Mars," you should. I believe in the quality of this series so much, I've actually made a pact with my husband just to get him to watch it. He refuses to believe that a TV show with such a ridiculous premise can be any good, but he's agreed to watch it if I read at least two volumes of Stephen King's "Dark Tower" series -- which I just completed last week -- and if I complete a full "Buffy" rewatch with him. (We're halfway through Season 6.) I've jumped through a lot of hoops so far to get him to watch this show...and he's going to be damn glad I did when he realizes that yes, his wife knows awesomeness the way Barnum knows clowns.

Now if only someone would release "Ashes to Ashes," the "Life on Mars" sequel, on DVD. C'mon, people, mama needs her stories!

Gearing up for the new "Who"

2010-03-25T07:38:00.001-05:00

So, I'm dying to know -- what do YOU think of the impending arrival of the new "Doctor Who?" Starring that fellow with the amazingly agile hair aka Matt Smith and that saucy redhead I know nothing but I'm sure she's good aka Karen Gillan, the new series will make its UK debut on April 3 (thanks for catching my typo, folks!) followed immediately by its illegal debut on dodgy servers everywhere...then followed on April 17 with its BBC America debut. Phew, that was a long, poorly constructed sentence.

I gotta say, I'm pretty damn excited about the upcoming season, which is something I never thought I would say given my sadness over David Tennant's departure and my misgivings about Steven Moffat. But seriously, how could anyone -- even cranky old me -- watch these previews and not be at least mildly geeked?

Please note: there be casting spoilers ahoy in these trailers, so if you want to pure as the driven "Who" snow, it'd be best to avoid them.

I mean, wow, the monsters look amazing; the energy level is ramped up to 11; Smith and Gillan seem to have a nice bouncy chemistry going and Smith himself looks like he's going to be the twitchiest, oddest Doctor of them all...and I mean that as a good thing. With my albeit limited Old Who knowledge, the following statement could be totally wrong, but he reminds me a bit of Tom Baker, which should make for some good squirrelly fun. Just from those previews, the show itself definitely has a new feel but again, I mean this as a good thing because it still feels very much connected to the best of the Davies era.

But enough yammering from me -- tell me what you think!

"Spaced" flash mob

2010-03-24T08:23:00.002-05:00

You know what I haven't done nearly enough of in my life? Besides winning a million dollars and holding the hand of David Tennant while skipping through fields of daisies? (In a totally platonic way, you know, just so he wouldn't fall down. It's a safety thing.) I haven't participated in nearly enough flash mobs. In fact, I haven't participated in any at all, which doesn't seem right.

I especially wish I'd been part of the recent "Spaced" flash mob in London's Trafalgar Square, which recreated the awesomely endless fake shoot-out scene from the series. The end result was beautifully done. The only way it could have been any better was if half the crowd had channeled Nick Frost's Mike and glued on a few unsettling porn 'staches.

Dustin' off the ol' blog...

2010-03-23T18:09:00.003-05:00

To all three of you who are still possibly checking on this blog from time to time, may I just say, you look lovely today? (Unless you're a guy. In which case, may I just say, you look lovely in a totally manly way today?)

I've missed you.

It's been a long, fairly miserable three months, about which the less said, the better. But now, the flowers are blooming, it stays light past the point where I fall asleep on the couch and my Detroit Tigers are getting ready to disappoint me again -- yes, it's spring, and what better time to start sitting indoors at my desk and blogging again?

So what will my return blog post be about? There's so much to choose from! You've got your casting of Chris "I Flex Therefore I Am" Evans as Captain America. You've got your Virgin Galactic completing a successful maiden voyage OF A SPACE SHIP! (I hear the salted nuts were out of this world. Hahahahahahaaa!) And you've got the Washington Post using the word "fracking" to explain Joe Biden's naughty open-miked slip-up today. With all of these important developments, certainly the words I'm about to type will be unmistakeably momentous!

But no, I'm just going to write about a Bill Paxton pinball machine.

Yes, you heard it right: some sainted soul, whose creativity should be cloned immediately and without delay (yes, those mean the same thing but redundancy and repetition are how I express my excitement and enthusiasm), has built a Bill Paxton-themed pinball machine. It looks like this:

And it plays like this:

Best of all, when the game is over, Bill Paxton shouts, "Game over, man!" from "Aliens, commemorating the single greatest performance ever committed to film by a man named Bill Paxton starring in a James Cameron production of a film featuring Sigourney Weaver that is not "Avatar."

Now, as many of you know, in a head-to-head match-up of acting incompetence and two-dimensional gesturing, I prefer the Pullman over the Paxton (see "Independence Day") but the pinball machine may be the thing that finally bounces Paxton into the lead. It's a well-deserved honor. May the great Paxton balls of pin never get wedged in that one unreachable spot where you have to pick up the machine and jiggle it until the damn thing breaks free. Amen!

An American "Torchwood?" Oh my.

2010-01-19T15:56:00.002-05:00

So the news came out today that Fox is developing a U.S. version of "Torchwood." The downside is that, with the exception of "The Office," I'm loathe to see any UK show I enjoy -- or not enjoy that often, as is the case with "Torchwood" -- subjected to any ham-fisted makeovers by American TV networks. We just don't do subtlety that well.

On the plus side, the new script is being written by Russell T. Davies himself and overseen by "Torchwood"'s original production team so it could turn out to be great -- an updated version of "The X-Files" but with more gratuitous sex and jokes about Wales. (If they do a US version, what city takes the place of Cardiff when it comes to gentle jibes and verbal beatings? Cleveland?)

The article seems to indicate that some original cast members may take part including John Barrowman, which would be nifty. I hope Fox knows I'll watch the show no matter what if they bring over Russell Tovey and add him to the cast. Just FYI.

The most troubling aspect of the whole story, though, is the last paragraph that mentions something about a "Doctor Who" reboot for American audiences, which just about made me vomit up my TARDIS birthday cake.* No, no and no again! Some things like malt vinegar and an elegance in taunting the French are meant to be British and nothing else. What's more, if American networks keep bringing over UK shows, the effect of being an Anglophilic TV snob will be rendered moot and I, for one, will not stand for that!

What do you think about a possible Americanized "Torchwood?"

* P.S. Yes, I got an actual TARDIS post-birthday cake last night from my friend, who makes the world's best cakes. Check out the craftsmanship!

Who hasn't wanted to gift wrap their cat?

2010-01-14T06:39:00.000-05:00

Sure, it would have been better if I'd spotted this before the holidays, but really, when is it not a good time to wrap your cat like a present?

Randomizing my randomness

2010-01-12T21:20:00.002-05:00

So, you know how sometimes life interferes with blogging? Yep, that's my story these days. A new work project I'm involved in has radically altered my schedule. Sadly, that means my writing schedule has changed too. Rather than give up the blog totally, which would make me very, very sad, I've decided the best solution is to blog randomly...on a regular basis. Meaning rather than doing daily Odds and Ends posts, I'm just going to just do mini posts -- hopefully every day -- about random things that I hope you find as amusing or weird as I do.

So first up, have you seen this bit with "Lost" characters explaining how to make a sandwich? I especially love this explanation from Kate:

Kate
1. Make separate sandwiches, one with peanut butter and one with jelly
2. Take a bite of the peanut butter sandwich, declaring it the best
3. Take a bite of the jelly sandwich, declaring it the best
4. Repeat steps 2 and 3 ad infinitum
5. Follow peanut butter or jelly sandwich into grave danger

And this one for Danielle:

Danielle
1. Apply peanut butter
2. Disappear for eight months
3. Apply jelly
4. Disappear for eight months
5. Eat sandwich

And my imaginary island boyfriend, Ben:

Ben
1. Steal someone else’s sandwich
2. Claim you coerced them into making the sandwich for you all along
3. Say you’ll tell them everything if they make you another sandwich
4. Stare at them all creepy-like

Oh man, I can't wait for "Lost" to return and thank God that whole State of the Union nonsense won't be getting in the way. Fantasy island mysteries before politics -- all the way!

Thursday Odds & Ends: Christopher Lee, Charlamagne, NPH vs. Barrowman, cool watches and liquor

2010-01-07T07:39:00.000-05:00

+ Even if this didn't involve sci-fi and horror legend Sir Christopher Lee, this would still be an awesome project: a symphonic metal about everyone's favorite first Holy Roman Emperor Charlamagne. Yes, Sir Christopher Lee, heavy metal and Charlamagne. Is it Christmas again already?

+ "Lost" returns on February 2, and in the meantime, if you can't remember what's happened over the last half dozen seasons or, if you're like me and don't really understand what happened over the last half dozen seasons, here's a handy reference video featuring all 98 episodes of "Lost" in 8 minutes:

+ Did you catch all the hullabaloo over the "Gay Man of the Decade" battle between Neil Patrick Harris and John Barrowman over the holidays? Well, the winner has been announced. That was a totally unfair contest -- it's like asking a mother to choose her favorite child, if both children were incredibly hot gay men with the kind of biceps that make baby angels cry. There oughta be a law against this kind of cruelty.

+ Production for "Spider-Man 4" -- a film I keep forgetting is even being made -- has been delayed indefinitely while they apparently figure out small details like plot and script and characters.

+ Now that it's a new year, I'm thinking of drinking more, which makes this Mental Floss article detailing the histories of 11 famous cocktails all the handier. Also, it gives me an excuse to quote Ogden Nash: "Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker!" (Oh yeah! What other blog's gonna name check Ogden Nash today? Okay, probably like half a dozen but still, I did it with zest.)

+ I have no idea why, but I want this watch: it's a Dick Tracy-style wrist phone. When I was a child, I had one of those Pac-Man wrist watches that I loved and this is a million times cooler. If I had this watch, I would wear it to work and pretend I was getting secret calls from spies - and God - all day long. It would be awesome. Not for my co-workers, of course, but definitely awesome for me.

My totally biased and slightly incoherent review of "The End of Time"

2010-01-05T11:55:00.000-05:00

If you haven't seen David Tennant's final "Who" episode, "The End of Time" yet then please be forewarned, there are spoilers ahead. So avert your eyes...I'll give you a few seconds...here, I'll even put in a picture!

I'm just going to say it. I don't care about plot. When it comes to watching a show about a 900 year old alien who travels time and space in an anachronistic blue box, I refuse to get my feathers ruffled about continuity, logic and coherence. I will readily admit that "The End of Time" was a complete mess: Timelords, Gallifrey, The Master, Barack Obama and aliens with green pointy faces. Who knows what the hell that was all about? I, for one, do not care one bit.

You know why? Because where these episodes went astray in terms of plot, they were absolutely spot on when it came to character and depth of emotion, and that's everything I wanted for Ten's farewell. To whit, every single scene between Ten and Donna's grandfather Wilf was heartbreakingly beautiful. When Wilf tried again and again to give The Doctor his gun, and quietly sobbed about how he didn't want the Doctor to die, about how he was the most wonderful person -- oh God, how could you not get even a little bit misty eyed over that? (Or in my case, start sobbing uncontrollably.)

Beyond the sci-fi and beyond the plot, this episode was at heart about mortality, about two old men confronting the end and doing everything they could to make that end matter. For the Doctor to sacrifice himself not to save the world, not to save the universe, but to save Wilf, the only other man who knew what he was going through, was a thing of beauty. It was the most heroic thing this Doctor could ever have hoped to do. It was perfect.

People have complained about the drawn-out ending, too, with the Doctor going off to get his "reward" and seeing all his former companions and the people who meant the most to him. To those people, I say too bad. I loved those little grace note moments -- the final wave to Sarah Jane, a final act of kindness for Captain Jack and Alonso, those wonderful words to a young Rose telling her what a great year she was going to have. As a fan, I wanted those farewells just as much as The Doctor did. This is the end of an era, after all.

And finally, just a word or two about Tennant's performance. As I mentioned a few weeks ago, Tennant has rarely faltered as The Doctor and for these last two episodes, he was nothing short of spectacular. His monologue after he realizes he'll have to sacrifice himself for Wilf is heartbreaking, so angry yet no matter the terrible things he says, Tennant never lets you doubt that he will make that sacrifice and that he loves Wilf and meant it when he said he'd have been honored to have Wilf as his father. Tennant is twelve kinds of awesome in that scene.

Damn, I'm going to miss him.

But enough out of me -- what did you think?

Tuesday Odds & Ends: Avatar, more zombies, Caprica, Deathly Hallows and Matt Smith

2010-01-05T08:21:00.000-05:00

Well looky here, it's 2010! Hope your holidays were happy and full of good times and good friends. As for me, I'm just happy to have rid our space-time continuum of that ass-hatted year known as 2009. Good riddance! And now, on to the newsy bits...

+ So I hear there's some movie out called "Avatar" and it's about super-thin Smurfs or something. (Okay, I'm trying to act casual about this movie, but I really do want to see it. It's just that the husband and I made a pact that we won't see it anywhere but in 3-D IMAX and the show's sold out all the time. Sigh.) Anywho, here's a website where you can learn how to speak Na'vi, which is apparently what the wafer thin Smurfs speak.

+ Oh man, they've created a monster. There's going to be a prequel to "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" called "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls." Maybe if they beat that dead horse enough it'll come back to life.

+ Io9 has seen the first few episodes of "Caprica," which debuts on SyFy on January 22, and they've got some spoiler free observations. I really liked the pilot, so I'm looking forward to the launch of this series.

+ I know I'm getting old when I can't remember if I've seen this "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" trailer yet. Cinema Blend says its new though, so let's all just trust them, eh?

+ I really enjoyed this list of the "12 Favorite Sci-Fi and Fantasy TV Moments of the Decade." I pretty much agree with all of them. Crazy!

+ I don't even really know what to say about this: a French artist is allowing a millionaire to film his every moment until he dies...all in an effort to prove he can outlive the millionaire's prediction. Who has enough time to come up with this stuff? Rich guys and artists, apparently.

+ Have you seen the trailer for the new season of "Doctor Who?" Even though I'm still rehydrating after watching "End of Time" (review to come later today), I am looking forward to Matt Smith's tenure. Anyway, here's the trailer. Enjoy!

Signing off for the holidays!

2009-12-23T09:20:00.003-05:00

Just wanted to wish each and every one of you all the best for the holidays, and here's hoping your 2010 is spectacular. Thank you so much for visiting this blog and for sharing all your wonderful (and hilarious) comments with me. They pretty much make my day. You guys are the very best!

I'll start posting again after the New Year. In the meantime, have a great end of 2009!

Monday Odds & Ends: Sir Patrick, "Chuck" marathon, the first Christmas card and Jack Bauer

2009-12-21T12:32:00.003-05:00

+ At least he's already used to being called Sir. Patrick Stewart, he of the sexy cranium and purr-worthy voice, is reportedly on the list to be knighted. A well-deserved honor indeed!

+ With "Chuck" returning for its third season on NBC starting January 10, SyFy is offering up an eight-hour "Chuck" marathon to get you back in the spying mood. The marathon starts on January 7 and runs from 5 p.m. to 1 a.m.

+ Want to impress your office mates at this year's Christmas party? Here's some arcane trivia on the very first Christmas card ever sent. All the best inventions are born out of laziness, aren't they?

+ Did everyone watch "The Waters of Mars" on BBC America this past Saturday? Did you love it? Find out if it made "Who" (re-)creator Russell T. Davies' list of favorite Doctor Who moments. It's a great list. You can tell Rusty enjoys himself!

+ If you haven't seen it already, the folks at Rebel Christmas Card have imagined what would happen if "24"'s Jack Bauer interrogated Santa Claus. I'm all for anything that makes fun of Jack Bauer, so enjoy!

What I'll Miss About Tennant's Perfect Ten

2009-12-17T10:30:00.000-05:00

When David Tennant's final "Doctor Who" episode airs in the UK on New Year's Day and in the US the day after, I along with millions of other viewers will be curled up in a ball on the sofa, weeping with as much dignity as I can muster while maturely trying to tell myself, "We were lucky to have him as long as we did."

As the end draws near, I've been trying to think of what I'll miss most about Tennant's portrayal of the Tenth Doctor, and I think I've narrowed it down to this: everything. I'll miss everything about it. But here are a few things I'll miss most:

That frenetic mad man energy
Watching Tennant's Doctor was, at times, like watching an extremely bouncy ball ricochet off around in an extremely small box. I got tired sometimes just watching it. Tennant displayed boundless energy, playing a man who never, ever wanted to slow down. Sure, that hyperactivity rankled some viewers, but I loved it. It made me want to bounce right along with him. (But I didn't. Women my age should rarely, if ever, bounce.)

The sincerity
If David Tennant put on his sincere face and tried to sell me a bridge to the Moon, I would hand him my checkbook without hesitation. The man's performances were always 100 percent sincere by which I mean, he looked like he believed every single thing his character said. We've all seen actors who look embarrassed to be uttering the words they're given - *cough*cast of Star Trek Voyager*cough* - but Tennant's utter sincerity helped sell even the most outrageous plot points and rhino-headed aliens.

That face
Beyond the very good looks, Tennant has a face that does more in silence than it does with words. You could always see the Doctor's rage or mirth or fear bubbling up in Tennant's eyes well before any words of dialogue were spoken. Just watch "Midnight" when the Doctor is paralyzed and speechless or sniffle your way through the end of "Doomsday" when he stands silently at the wall where Rose disappeared, and you'll see what I mean. Also, he can do fearsome things with an eyebrow raise. I'm just saying, if there were an Olympic competition for eyebrow raising, he would be Michael Phelps.

The hair
Oh, that hair. It should have its own spin-off, that hair. I don't even know what to say about it except that it achieved spectacular heights and I shall miss wondering what the hell it will look like next. It was my favorite gel-slathered mystery of all...which sounds entirely more dirty than I meant it.

The fan-boy enthusiasm
The beautiful thing about David Tennant is that he's the biggest "Who" nerd of them all, and he's not ashamed to show it. (Well, maybe a little bit.) Knowing that the actor playing the part is an even bigger fan than half the audience gives the show and everything around it an added dimension of fun. Besides, who doesn't get a kick out of seeing Tennant pull some obscure fact about Davros out of the air and then thinking to yourself, "Phew, at least I'm not that much of a geek." Aaand then the doorbell rings, the mailman delivers your life-sized Dalek and your geek cover's blown all over again.

The end of the Russell T. Davies era
I know a lot of people moan about RTD and "ooh, there's too much romance" and "ooh, the Doctor's too sad" but without Davies, there would be no New Who to complain about and obsess over. Personally, I love his stories and think he's a wonderful writer who resurrected a timeless (no pun intended) character and gave him new life. With Tennant's departure comes Davies' departure, and I'll miss them both.

How about you? What will you miss most when Tennant departs?

Thursday Odds & Ends: Iron Man 2, Colbert, Doctor Who, Spock monkey and puppets

2009-12-17T10:11:00.003-05:00

+ WOW! The new "Iron Man 2" trailer is out and all I can say is, "I want to see this now, please!" Check it out and let me know what you think.

+ Former Nerd Man of the Month Stephen Colbert was on the cover of "Sports Illustrated" this week. The SI site has outtakes from his photo shoot. As you probably know, Colbert's show will be sponsoring the U.S. Speedskating team for the 2010 Winter Olympics. Seriously, that man has the best promotions people in the world.

+ Here's an interview with J.J. Abrams, Alex Kurtzman, Roberto Orci, Damon Lindelof and other folks behind "Lost," "Fringe," "Star Trek" and basically everything our little nerd hearts desire.

+ Speaking of "Lost," here's a new poster that, rumor has it, may contain some clues to the new season. Thanks @davidmanly for the tip!

+ Here's a new Doctor Who "End of Time" trailer. I can't wait for this!

+ Make your own Spock monkey! It's so cute! (via @TNRLM)

+ Jason Segel AND Craig Ferguson AND puppets AND Dracula? It doesn't get much better than that! Segel performed "Dracula's Lament" from "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" on the Ferguson show the other night.

Wednesday Odds & Ends: "Alice," Fillion, "Prince of Persia," General Zod, chunky Earths and Barrowman

2009-12-16T12:06:00.003-05:00

Here's a fun fact about cats - if you take them to the vet and the term "anal gland" enters the mix, said cat will not talk to you for the rest of the day and in fact, will sit with her back to you and use her telepathy to swear like a profane kitty sailor. This is a fact.

And now on with the news:

+ Check out this amazing new trailer from Tim Burton's "Alice in Wonderland." I will, of course, go see anything that Tim Burton makes, aside from babies and hams, but I'm really excited about this movie.

+ Nathan Fillion would make a fabulous replacement for Regis Philbin one day. (A girl can dream, right?) Here he interviews "Castle" co-star Stana Katic, and reveals that his "cult status" is "the pope." I love him.

+ I've had less than zero interest in seeing the "Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time" movie with Jake Gyllenhaal. That's changed though now that A) I found out it's directed by Mike Newell, of all people and B) I saw this behind-the-scenes preview which actually made it look pretty entertaining. Whether it's entertaining enough to forgive Gyllenhaal's hair, well, we'll have to see about that...

+ If I had a lot of money, like to the extent where I was just setting it on fire for fun, I would love to get one of these General Zod 12-inch action figures. Of course, if I had enough money to burn, I might just try to get Terence Stamp to sit on my front porch and randomly shout, "Kneel before Zod!" to whoever passes by.

+ Astronomers have discovered six "super-Earths" orbiting nearby stars. Apparently, the term "super-Earths" has nothing to do with superheroes but instead means just really large Earth-like planets, which all prefer being called "big boned." Scientists say this is a huge advance in planet-detecting technology (the discovery of the planets, not the thing about big-boned).

+ "Buffy" alumnus Nicholas Brendon is now on Twitter.

+ And simply because it's Wednesday and Wednesday seems like the perfect day for show tunes, here's singing John Barrowman "Anything Goes."

Monday Odds & Ends: NPH, Lost, history of lights, John Noble and science writing

2009-12-14T12:03:00.002-05:00

+ As I wrestle with decorating my currently naked Christmas tree, I was fascinated with this article on Gizmodo about the history of Christmas lights. Let's just say I'm glad I live in an age where I don't have to stand by with buckets of sand when lighting the festive tree candles.

+ Speaking of hot things, Neil Patrick Harris will get to show off his musical skills again in the 100th episode of "How I Met Your Mother," when he and the rest of the cast perform an ode to suits.

+ Here are the first publicity photos released for the upcoming season of "Lost." Sure, they look pretty much like a series of expensive GAP ads, but it's always nice to see Ben and his creepy stare. Spoiler alert: don't look at these if you don't want to know who may or may not be returning to the series.

+ AFI has announced their list of the top ten movies and TV shows of 2009. "Big Bang Theory" and "True Blood" made the cut as did "Coraline" and "Up."

+ I agree one hundred percent with this essay on why John Noble should win an Emmy for "Fringe." He's absolutely brilliant in that series.

+ Geek Dad over at Wired has a nifty review on a new compendium on modern science writing, edited by Richard Dawkins. I'll definitely be putting this on my to-read list.

+ And, based on some requests, I've added a few new products to The Park Bench store over at Cafe Press. Get 'em while they're hot!

Park Bench T-Shirts Want to Live in Your Closet

2009-12-11T10:00:00.006-05:00

Just in time for the holidays...or actually, almost too late for the holidays but still in time for that festive month of January...we've got some Park Bench accessories for you and yours. There's t-shirts (long and short sleeved) as well as hoodies and the always popular mug option, all emblazoned with the image below:

It's got yer mad scientist, it's got yer nerdery, it's got yer brain in a jar...what says "happy holidays" better than that? So if you'd like to support The Park Bench and show some nerd pride as well, please visit our fledgling little Cafe Press shop. I hope you like it! And definitely let me know if you see any glitches or anything I need to add because, as with most things, I have no idea what I'm doing. A big thanks to designer extraordinaire and all-around nice guy Manning Krull for his awesome illustration.

And a big thanks to all of you guys, too, for reading The Park Bench! You're the best!

Friday Odds & Ends: Natalie Portman & zombies, Doctor Who clip, LEGOs and Trek

2009-12-11T09:41:00.003-05:00

+ Well, I'd call this a perfect bit of casting: Natalie Portman will star in the film version of "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies." If she survived "The Phantom Menace," she can survive anything.

+ There's a very cute new preview clip out today from the upcoming Doctor Who "End of Time" two-parter, the one I'll be watching while curled in the fetal position weeping bitterly. Anyway, I'll just post the link here since one of the guest cast members is visible in the still frame of the video, and I don't want to get cited for spoilers.

+ Check out this preview of the new LEGO Harry Potter: Years 1 through 4 game. I wish my LEGOs could have done all this cool stuff when I was a kid. Thanks, Emily, for the link!

+ Have you ever wanted to Tweet in Klingon? Of course you have. And now you can, with this handy Klingon Tweet converter. If you want to confuse your friends today, hands down this is the best way. Thanks to Megan for the tip!

+ There's a new film project out soon directed by "Buffy" alumni Amber Benson and Adam Busch, and starring fellow "Buffy" alumnus Jonathan Woodward and former "Freaks and Geeks" cast member Samm Levine. It's called "Drones" and here's a trailer.

+ I want this menorah. Way to hand-craft some nerdy holiday cheer!

Thursday Odds & Ends (Way Late Edition): Nobels, Day, Levi and iPhones

2009-12-10T14:04:00.002-05:00

Just a few quick nuggets today, and also a sincere thanks to everyone who's been sharing tales of their own nerdy humiliations in the comments section of yesterday's post. You've had me in stitches with some of these stories, and I very much appreciate the sharing!

+ A tip of the hat to the world's brainiest ladies - a record five women were awarded Nobel Prizes this year in fields as varied as literature and economics.

+ Speaking of smart chickies, Felicia Day will be guest starring on Fox's "Lie to Me" this coming Monday, and rumor has it, she'll be doing a bit of singing. Now if only Captain Hammer would turn up as well...

+ Pining for some "Chuck?" Here's 10 Questions with Zachary Levi. They're all trick questions and story problems - those TV Guide people are total bastards!

+ Students from the University of Michigan have learned how to use iPhones as musical instruments. Is there nothing those phones can't do? Well, fly. I know they can't do that. Not well, at least.

+ And finally, if things work out, there may be a Park Bench t-shirt available for purchase and frequent wearing quite soon. Stay tuned...

Nerd humiliation: the gift that keeps on giving

2009-12-09T15:03:00.003-05:00

Perhaps the most unfortunate aspect of being a nerd is the social awkwardness and tendency toward humiliation that often comes with it. This is, of course, a stereotype but one which for me, as you know, has always been true. Cases in point: I've yet to meet a flight of stairs that didn't want to teach me a lesson about gravity. If there's a way to mangle somebody's name or engage in a sweaty palmed handshake with a superior, I'm your girl. There's at least a 90 percent chance that whatever food I eat also will end up somewhere on my person. There are the guffaws that turn into snorts so spectacular I'm lucky my teeth don't end up in my sinus cavities, and then there are the times I just flat out accidentally drool. In short, if there's a way for me to look stupid, I'm gonna grab it with both hands...and then probably fall down.

So why bring this up? Because in the past, whenever I made an ass of myself, I assumed it was just something I'd grow out of. I've assumed that for well-on 20 years now, and yesterday, I finally realized the terrible truth: age does not cure a propensity for humiliation. If anything, age just makes the falling down and drooling sadder.

Yesterday, I spent an hour and a half in an important business meeting, one which I'd been preparing for over the course of several days. I had my papers in order, my outfit selected. I made sure all zippers were zipped and that my clodhoppers were covered in slip-proof shoes. Despite my best preparations, I discovered after the meeting had ended that I'd been sitting there the entire time with a dried flap of make-up hanging off my upper lip. You remember when the Nazis melted in "Raiders of the Lost Ark," and their flesh just kind of slid off their faces? Yeah, like that, only worse because IT HAPPENED TO ME. And there wasn't any context. Face melting needs context.

Anyway, I'm sure I'm exaggerating and it wasn't that bad, but sweet fancy Moses, I sat through a whole meeting with that damn thing waggling there on my face like a big flappy dolphin tail. Someone's probably writing a folk song about it right now.

I should be used to this sort of thing by now, but as I said, I'd always hoped that age would rectify these issues. Normal women, no doubt, would have checked their faces before getting out of the car. Me? No, I was preoccupied listening to a song about cricket and thinking about a McGriddle when I stepped out of the car, feeling foolishly confident because I'd managed to accessorize. And then hubris bit my ass!

So, I write this simply to warn others out there. Don't ever be lulled into a sense of complacency, thinking you've conquered that tendency toward misaligning your blouse buttons and showing boob at a funeral. Time heals no nerdy wounds, self-inflicted or otherwise. We're on our own with our social clumsiness. We must be vigilent! Only we can prevent shame...and forest fires...but mostly shame.

Wednesday Odds & Ends: Mobius bagels, old school "Star Trek," Mr. Burns and master's degrees

2009-12-09T10:07:00.003-05:00

+ I need to go buy some six or seven thousand test bagels right now. Why? Because apparently it's possible to cut them into Mobius strips which is pretty much the coolest thing ever. Thing of the cream cheese possibilities!

+ Speaking of cheese, SFX Magazine was touting this original "Star Trek the Motion Picture" making-of featurette this morning on Twitter. I'm pretty sure the guy who narrated it is the same guy who narrated every single short film ever created in the 1970s. Also, there's shots of a slim Shatner chewing gum. Le rowr.

+ Rumor has it that John Malkovich and Anne Hathaway might be joining the cast of "Spider Man 4."

+ Did you know that "The Simpsons" Mr. Burns won the write-in vote for New York City mayor in this year's election? He earned 10 percent of the vote, snatching victory from the likes of such fictional and dead luminaries as Mickey Mouse, Alfred E. Newman and Sleeping Beauty. Thanks, Megan, for the link!

+ If you were a fan of Spaulding Gray, this might spark your interest: Steven Soderbergh has made a documentary on Gray and it's set to debut at this year's Slamdance festival. I saw a few of Gray's stage shows in Ann Arbor way back when, and he was an extraordinary performer. I'm looking forward to this film.

+ If I had a million dollars, I'd go to college forever and earn ridiculous degree after ridiculous degree. Should that ever happen, Mental Floss has composed a handy list of "13 Incredibly Focused Graduate Programs." I'd love to see video of what happens when some 22 year old kid announces to his parents that he'd like a few extra bucks to earn that Beatles master's degree. Hilarity and weeping ensues...

Monday Odds & Ends (Afternoon Edition): Potter, Whedon, spaceships, artists and dorks

2009-12-07T12:55:00.003-05:00

+ If you can't wait to see the new footage from "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" promised with tomorrow's DVD release of "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince," well, then here it is a day early:

Bonus Bluray of Deathly Hallows
by AmEnPe

+ Want to hear what Joss Whedon has to say about why he thinks "Dollhouse" was cancelled? Here's a pretty expansive interview with the man himself.

+ Virgin Galactic unveiled its commercial spaceship this morning. It looks like a really big plane. Couldn't he have made it flashier, like maybe added a faux warp drive? C'mon, Branson, I expect a little more Buck Rogers for my dollar!

+ Check out these gorgeous portraits of sci-fi and other authors created by comic book artists. They're really lovely.

+ So apparently, the decade is ending. I sort of had forgotten that until I started noticing all these "Best of the Decade" lists cropping up. Seems like kind of an important thing to know.... Oh well! Time is relative. And with that, here's a list of the decade's most lovable TV dorks.

Thursday Odds & Ends: "Who," Cameron, "Buck Rogers," cool architecture and kitty!

2009-12-03T11:09:00.005-05:00

+ I loved this list by SFX of the "27 Things SFX Loves About New Who." I agreed with just about all of them, and it's a nice little look back.

+ I'm sneaking this one in just under the wire, but apparently today at 3 p.m. EST, director James Cameron is doing a live Q&A about "Avatar." I wish I had more interest in seeing this movie, but it's just not doing it for me yet.

+ Hey, there's going to be a new "Buck Rogers" web series! Below is a preview clip, which, as Topless Robot pointed out, is really pretty but really dull. But it's pretty!

+ Check out this proposed garden residential building that might one day soon be built in Chongqing, China. Designed by MAD Architects, it's called the Urban Forest. It's pretty nifty, although I might be just slightly terrified to live there.

+ And finally, because it's a bit of a slow news day and because I could use some stress relief, let's all take a few moments to appreciate the splendor of the legendary Surprised Kitty.

Wednesday Odds & Ends: King, Holmes, Greatest American Hero, typewriters and prodigies

2009-12-02T11:02:00.003-05:00

+ Stephen King is mulling over ideas for a sequel to "The Shining," which would follow creepy Big Wheel-riding kid Danny Torrence as an adult. I get chills just thinking about that damn movie.

+ Back in my day, when projectors were powered by steam and popcorn cost half a penny, we didn't like having our seats shaken during movies. Now, though, ten theaters across the U.S. will be equipped with special motion seats that will jostle you around during bits of the new "Sherlock Holmes" movie. Hmm, vibrating seats and a Robert Downey Jr. movie...I can see a certain audience appeal for this.

+ If you're of a certain age -- say, mine, for example -- you quite possibly have fond memories of a TV show called "The Greatest American Hero," which is now available on Hulu. Now, you can relive the glory -- or be sadly disappointed that it doesn't live up to your memories. Either way, it'll kill 45-minutes of your work day.

+ Brilliant writer Mindy Kaling, aka Kelly on "The Office," is teaming up with fellow "Office" writer Brent Forrester to pen a script for a new film called "The Low Self Esteem of Lizzie Gillespie." The movie follows the story of a woman whose low self esteem has her thinking she can only date losers.

+ In sad Luddite news, Cormac McCarthy's 50 year old typewriter finally gave up the ghost, no doubt yielding to depression after logging an estimated five million words for the cheery author. McCarthy is auctioning the typewriter, which is estimated to sell for $15,000 to $20,000. It's okay though - McCarthy's purchased a new typewriter for $11 so he's going to break even.

+ Were you a brilliant child? There's hope for you yet! Check out this list of "Nine Child Prodigies (Who Actually Ended Up Doing Something)." If only I was nine years old and a genius, that story would totally make me feel better. Maybe if I pretended to be nine years old....well, I suppose my husband would go to prison. Okay, scrap that.

So how's your day going? Read any good books lately?

Tuesday Odds & Ends: Torchwood, Douglas Adams, Iron Man 2, Lost and great Scots

2009-12-01T09:35:00.005-05:00

+ Good news for "Torchwood" fans: John Barrowman confirmed in a radio interview yesterday that the series will be back for a full 13-episode run. Fingers crossed they keep up the stellar quality of the "Children of Earth" mini-series.

+ Do you have a bathtub? Would you like a new one? Or rather a slightly used one? Well, you're in luck. Douglas Adams' bathtub -- the one in which he apparently soaked when he needed ideas -- is up for sale on eBay. You still have one day and a few hours left in the auction, so gather up your rubber duckies and start bidding!

+ Check out the swanky new poster for "Iron Man 2." I personally can't wait for this sequel.

+ Speaking of highly anticipated movies, USA Today has a small behind-the-scenes article on part one of the upcoming "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" films.

+ Have you seen this awesome "Lost" promo from Spain, featuring the cast as chess pieces? I got goosebumps watching it. Hurry back to my TV screen, "Lost," I miss you!

+ And finally, David Tennant has finished fifth in the "Greatest Scot" contest, behind those slackers Robert Burns, William Wallace and some fellow who invented penicillin. As if that wasn't enough, David also will be featured as The Doctor on a new commemorative Royal Mint coin, giving women everywhere a whole new reason to carry change in their pockets. "What's that jangling?" "Oh, it's just Janet, she loves a good commemorative coin." Thus ends my Royal Mint fan fiction.

Nerd Man of the Month: Hugh Laurie

2009-11-30T13:38:00.003-05:00

At first blush, Hugh Laurie may not seem like an obvious choice for Nerd Man of the Month, what with him being a network TV superstar for playing a misanthropic, drug-abusing doctor on FOX's "House." Upon closer examination, however, the man fits four very important criteria that I've just now made up: he's very, very smart; he's a comedy icon; he's written a novel; and he's English. That's pretty much what it takes to earn the honor these days...and by "these days," I mean, of course, November. Well done, Hugh!

First, let's take a look at that "smart" category. The fellow earned a degree from Cambridge University and studied archaeology and anthropology while having the very good sense to date classmate Emma Thompson, who, as we all know, should have her own wing in the Museum of Awesome Women. (A quick aside: Emma Thompson is the best realistic cryer in movies. Ever.) Oh, and let's talk about that whole "writing a novel" thing -- called "The Gun Seller," it was a spoof of the thriller genre and you know what? It was really good. Couple that with his genuine musical talent and it appears we might have a Renaissance Man on our hands.

And boy oh boy, Hugh Laurie is ridiculously funny. I was a huge fan of Fry and Laurie growing up, and fell in love with their sketch comedy show. Check out this bit featuring a man with a very unusual last name:

Then there was "Blackadder" with Rowan Atkinson. Laurie is hysterically funny as the sunny-natured by irredeemably stupid Prince George. A kind-hearted person has compiled a few fine Prince George moments below:

And then we had the marvelous "Jeeves and Wooster" series, based on the P.G. Wodehouse novels. (And in no way was my choice of Laurie swayed this month by the fact that I've been reading Wodehouse. No way. Uh-uh. Maybe a little.) Laurie played the wonderfully wide-eyed and chronically ridiculous Bertie Wooster, a fellow who would be lost without his faithful manservant Jeeves.

Along the way, there have been other terrific roles in "Sense and Sensibility," "Stuart Little" and oh yes, that "House" program in which he is simply riveting, giving a performance week after week that is so good, it makes you forgive and forget some of the weaknesses of the show itself. He's like the Superman of that series, propping up awkward storylines in a single charismatic bound.

So, for being smart, funny, literate and English, The Park Bench is pleased to name Hugh Laurie as Nerd Man of the Month for November.

Monday Odds & Ends: awesome deleted scenes, gifts for TV junkies, Eccleston, smart people and microbes

2009-11-30T09:49:00.004-05:00

Hope all you American sorts had a wonderful long Thanksgiving weekend, and for everyone else, well, I hope you had a wonderful regular-sized weekend! Now on with the newsy nuggets:

+ Here's a handy compilation of 40 deleted scenes from top sci-fi movies including "Star Wars," "Star Trek," "Terminator," "Iron Man" and more. Who knew Han Solo originally had a chickie by his side in the cantina scene? Okay, probably a lot of people, but it was news to me!

+ Television Without Pity has a gift guide for TV junkies, which includes...wait for it...Dharma Initiative jump suits! I want one, and when I get it, I'm going to line it with flannel and use it as my winter couch potato uniform. It'll dub it my Ben Linus snuggie.

+ Last month's Nerd Man winner Christopher Eccleston has been cast as John Lennon in a biopic for BBC 4 called "Lennon Naked," chronicling the years 1967 to 1971. In a funny "Who"-vian coincidence, "Torchwood"'s Naoko Mori will play Yoko Ono. The film will air next year. Thanks, Michele, for the tip!

+ Ever wonder which American city has the smartest people? According to a recent "Travel + Leisure" survey, the answer is...Minneapolis, Minnesota. I'm pretty sure anyone who's ever watched "MST3K" knew that already.

+ Check out these amazing photographs of microbes! They're gorgeous, and are part of a new online museum created by Dutch photographer Wim von Egmond called the Micropolitan Museum of Microscopic Art Forms, a subsidiary of the Institute for the Promotion of the Less Than One Millimetre.

Tuesday Odds & Ends: Whedon, Big Bang, Fellini, True Blood and Tom Baker

2009-11-24T11:10:00.003-05:00

+ Joss Whedon has received the 2010 Vanguard Award from the Producers Guild of America and will be honored at some sort of shindig on Jan. 24. Whedon confessed confusion on winning the award as, he says, "...I've never actually guarded a van."

+ Here's an interview with "Big Bang Theory"'s Simon Helberg, who'll always be known as Moist to me, on his recent bathtub sharing exploits with Katee Sackhoff.

+ Sometimes I'm sitting on the sofa, contemplating the universe, and a thought occurs to me: you know what would make the world a better place? A theme park ride based on Fellini's "City of Women." Or at least that's how I imagine it happened for the folks at Italy's Cinecitta Studios. They're building a 400-acre theme park based on the more than 600 films shot there, including a Fellini ride. I can't even imagine how impaired I would have to be to get on a Fellini ride, but I suspect there would be a Woodchuck Cider intravenous drip involved.

+ The hot fashion trend this fall? Darth Vader shoes apparently. Who knew there were so many to choose from? Personally, I'd go for the Converse high-tops. Subtle yet villainous.

+ Be sure to add these to your holiday gift lists: "True Blood" figurines featuring Sookie, Bill and Eric. The likenesses are pretty amazing.

+ And finally, in honor of the 46th anniversary of the debut of "Doctor Who," here are some very odd yet very amusing TV ads with Tom Baker hocking a British computer brand. (Via Topless Robot)

Friday Odds & Ends: "Lost," "Chuck," Radcliffe, beating up dinosaurs and Jensen Ackles rocking out

2009-11-20T10:53:00.003-05:00

+ For those in need of your annual "Lost" fix, a premiere date for the new season has finally been announced. We'll get a two-hour episode on Tuesday, February 2 at 9 p.m. Yep, that means "Lost" is now on Tuesdays. Can't wait!

+ In other good TV news, "Chuck" returns on Sunday, January 10 before moving back to its usual Monday time slot. Here's a four-minute preview of the new season:

+ Mark your calendars for the 2010 "Simpsons" Treehouse of Horror episode. In a move sure to confuse many, many adolescent girls, Daniel Radcliffe will take part in a "Twilight" spoof, voicing the character of Edmund, a parody of Edward Cullen. Now if they could get Robert Pattinson to voice Harry Potter in the same episode, we'd have meta perfection.

+ Here's something to lord over your husbands or significant others: men married to intelligent women live longer. Whether they want to or not.

+ Looking for some good movies to watch over Thanksgiving? Check out this list of the "Best '30s Movies." Definitely watch "My Man Godfrey," one of my all-time favorite screwball comedies. Ooh, and Errol Flynn in "Captain Blood." If you haven't ogled Errol Flynn, you haven't lived.

+ Remember a while back when we posted that Nerd/Geek/Dork Venn diagram? Well, the folks at OkCupid.com have made self-diagnosis even easier with this Nerd, Geek or Dork test. I'm pleased to announce I came out 83 percent nerd. It's kind of a fun test. Thanks to Joanna for the link!

+ I want to play this video game: "Dino D-Day." Yes, it's exactly what it sounds like: dinosaurs meets World War II. In the preview, you actually get to punch a T. rex in the face. Who hasn't wanted to do that since "Jurassic Park III?"

+ And finally, many of you perhaps have already seen this, but if you haven't, it's definitely worth a good Friday laugh. It's "Supernatural"'s Jensen Ackles lip synching to "Eye of the Tiger," and it's kind of awesome. Thanks to Geek Girl Diva for posting this on Twitter yesterday.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Wednesday Odds & Ends: Buffy meets Castle, NPH, Nabokov, the impending penguin takeover and Depp

2009-11-18T09:21:00.004-05:00

+ For those of you who enjoyed the recent "Firefly" shout-out on "Castle," Nathan Fillion announced on Twitter yesterday that "Buffy" fans have something to look forward to on "Castle" as well. Hopefully Rick Castle doesn't start blinding characters in a tip o' the hat to Caleb.

+ Also in Twitter news, you can now follow Neil Patrick Harris, who, perhaps unsurprisingly, is pretty funny.

+ The Penguin Books website has a cool new interactive feature where you can see the note cards upon which Vladimir Nabokov wrote his last novel, "The Original of Laura," which was completed recently by Nabokov's son.

+ Speaking of penguins, scientists have discovered that these awesome water fowl are evolving at a rate two to six times faster than originally thought. You know what that means: penguin overlords by 2012. Sure, we'll all smell like herring but that's a small price to pay for perpetual formal wear, don't you think?

+ Here's a cute interview with Katee Sackhoff in which she talks about her new role in "24" and also her theory on what happened to Starbuck. She also shares an oddly disturbing but completely believable story about Edward James Olmos.

+ It's a big day for Johnny Depp. It's been announced that he'll be earning roughly $38 million to play Captain Jack Sparrow in a fourth "Pirates" film, making him the highest paid actor in Hollywood. And he's People Magazine's new "Sexiest Man Alive." To which I say, well, duh.

Review: "The Waters of Mars"

2009-11-16T11:45:00.000-05:00

Given all I had heard about the latest "Doctor Who" special, "The Waters of Mars," I thought I would be prepared for just how dark this claustrophobic adventure tale would be. But, ah, nope, it still packed a hell of a punch, and I love it even more for that.

From the moment the Doctor first steps out of the Tardis onto the Martian landscape, keen on finding a bit of fun, the story grabbed me and never let go. Without giving too much away, the plot revolves around a water-based invader that begins to attack the human researchers of Bowie Base One, the first human colony on Mars and the culmination of humankind's first tentative steps toward long-range space travel.

The Doctor arrives on what seems like a perfectly ordinary day, interested in exploring the red planet and doing his usual "aren't humans amazing" bit upon meeting the researchers. Suffice is to say, things go down hill quickly when mere drops of water prove deadly, and the Doctor is forced to make a decision that will be felt well beyond Bowie Base One.

Despite the explosions and running and the usual pulse-pounding action, to me this seemed like one of the most intimate "Doctor Who" episodes in quite a while. In fact, it reminded me of "Boom Town," a quiet sleeper episode from season one in which, again, the Doctor is asked to face a very difficult decision. The most effective scenes in "Waters of Mars" are those between Tennant and Lindsey Duncan as Adelaide, the base's leader. The push-pull of their moments together is fascinating and wrenching, worthy of some of the best in recent "Who" history.

Tennant is wonderful as his Doctor fights against the prediction of his impending demise made at the end of "Planet of the Dead." You can feel his panic and anger, and the direction this takes is surprising but at the same time feels inevitable. What transpires makes me wish we had more episodes in which to explore the Doctor in this state of mind.

Sadly, though, "The Waters of Mars" reminds us without question that this doctor's journey is coming to a close. And it has set the stage quite well, ramping us up for what promises to be an amazing closing act. I've already prepared my hankies. I have a feeling I'll be needing a lot of them.

For American audiences, "The Waters of Mars" airs on BBC America on Dec. 19.

For UK folks and others who may have used some sort of magic to view it, what did you guys think of the episode? Try to be as spoiler-free as possible in your comments. My husband is waiting to watch it in HD and will cry sad yet manly tears if he gets spoiled.

Monday Odds & Ends: Star Trek, Stephanie Meyer, Roger Corman, meteors and prostitutes

2009-11-16T10:29:00.003-05:00

+ In anticipation of tomorrow's DVD and Blu-Ray release of "Star Trek," here are a few selections from the behind the scenes materials included in the package. It looks like it's going to be a real treasure trove of goodies. Can't wait to watch it again!

+ Stephanie Meyer was on "Oprah" this past Friday to promote the Nov. 20 release of "New Moon." Apparently, she's got vampire fatigue too.

+ How cool is this? King of the B-Movies Roger Corman earned an honorary Oscar on Saturday along with Lauren Bacall and cinematographer Gordon Willis.

+ Hey, if you've got clear skies tonight, don't forget to check out the Leonid meteor shower. If you're like me, you can ramp up your paranoia enough to pretend it's an invasion. Which really isn't healthy for anyone yet I manage to do it every damn time.

+ Plans are in the works for motion-comic webisodes of the "Buffy" season 8 comic books. Voice casting is taking place right now, which means production should be starting fairly soon.

+ And finally, who says smart geeky women can't be highly paid prostitutes just like everyone else? No one now, thanks to University of Bristol researcher Brooke Magnanti, who broke that glass ceiling by revealing she's the famed call girl and blogger Belle de Jour, whose chronicle of her experiences sparked three books and the British TV series "Secret Diary of a Call Girl" with Billie Piper.

Friday Odds & Ends: Barrowman & Beyonce, Ejiofor, Stephen King and the garden jawa

2009-11-13T09:55:00.004-05:00

+ It's Friday and we could all use a little pick-me-up, right? So let's settle back and watch this hilarious video of John Barrowman dancing to Beyonce's "Single Ladies." Whoever made this, I love them very, very much.

+ Here's an interview with Chiwetel Ejiofor on his role in "2012." I skimmed the article and he doesn't once use the phrase "I can't believe I was in 'Serenity' and now I'm in this, what the hell??" so kudos on the restraint there.

+ Thousands of Stephen King fans apparently took part in an enormous game of hide and seek, stashing bits and pieces of King's new novel, "Under the Dome," all over London.

+ Don't forget, Wes Anderson's "Fantastic Mr. Fox" opens today in limited release, and the reviews have been pretty stellar, including this one from Cinema Blend.

+ My neighbor's head would explode in rage if I got one of these...which makes it all the more tempting. Yes, my friends, someone has created Garden Jawas. Instead of gnomes, you can plant these plucky little fellows all over your front yard. I love how he has garden tools stashed in his utility belt. Genius!

Thursday Odds & Ends: "Dollhouse" demise, "Star Wars," Bradbury, "Wallace and Gromit" and "Hamlet"

2009-11-12T09:54:00.003-05:00

+ As most of you have probably already heard, Joss Whedon's "Dollhouse" got axed yesterday by Fox. They'll still air the remainder of the episodes and word on the street is that the final stretch will be action-packed and amazing. My condolences to all the "Dollhouse" fans out there. On the bright side, at least this means Joss has more time to work on the "Dr. Horrible" sequel.

+ Want to cheer yourself up with some "Star Wars" tunes? Indulge in a new edition of "Star Wars Gangsta Rap" which actually manages to make Luke Skywalker a lot cooler than he was in the actual movies. Thanks for sending this, Emily!

ALL NEW! Star Wars Gangsta Rap: Chronicles

Atom.com: Funny Videos | Atom Originals | Star Wars Gangsta Rap

+ Did you know that you can buy "Wallace and Gromit" comics for your iPhone and iTouch? There are four new comics designed exclusively for download JUST FOR YOU! Or maybe the person behind you. It's difficult to tell.

+ The A.V. Club has their list of the "Best TV Series of the '00s," or "the aughts" as I prefer to call them. I agree with pretty much everything on the list, and am now thinking I'll have to check out "Venture Bros." someday soon.

+ Are you sitting at work bored right now? Say, why not draw a Tauntaun while you still have that "Star Wars" rap thrumming through your brain? "Mouse Guard" creator David Petersen shows you how with these step-by-step instructions.

+ Legendary author Ray Bradbury will help develop a new TV miniseries based on six of his short stories and tentatively called "The Bradbury Chronicles." Nifty!

+ And finally, in a news item all about Shakespeare and NOT AT ALL about David Tennant, here's a clip of an upcoming BBC film release of "Hamlet" starring Patrick Stewart and some guy.

Wednesday Odds & Ends: New York Public Library, Clash of the Titans, Carrie Fisher and hairless bears

2009-11-11T09:14:00.006-05:00

My apologies for the lack of blogging the last couple of days. I was not, as perhaps hoped by all of us, taken up by the TARDIS but instead, just snowed under with a work project. I'm back though and here's some newsy tidbits. Oh, and also, a picture of a naked bear but we'll save that for the end.

+ The New York Times ran a wonderful article yesterday highlighting some odd and unusual facts about the New York Public Library, which is apparently the third largest library in the world behind the Library of Congress and the British Library. Thank you, Maggie, for the link!

+ Check out these adorable "Doctor Who" amigurumi crochet dolls. The glasses are perfect! Thank you to Ciri, who's not a Doctor Who fan but knows a lot of us are, for the link!

+ There's a trailer out for the remake of "Clash of the Titans," which sort of looks like "300" but with 100 percent more Medusa. Basically, it looks cheesy but I'll go see anything based even remotely on classical mythology. I'm that easy!

+ I enjoyed this A.V. Club list of "16 Ways to Survive a Stephen King Story." My favorite suggestion? Pack a lunch.

+ Here's a nifty little interview with Elizabeth Mitchell about her roles in "V" and "Lost." Also, if you can figure out why there's a picture of "Mork and Mindy" at the top of the page for no apparent reason, please let me know.

+ Have you visited the official Carrie Fisher store? Yes, apparently she has one! And it's got one particular awesome item that looks like this:

+ Ah, there's reasons I love the French and this is one of them: Renault's Zoe Z.E. electric car, set to debut in 2012, which was designed with the help of the Biotherm cosmetics company. The car serves as a sort of spa on wheels with special air filtration systems and oil release systems to help improve and protect your skin.

+ And finally, for no other reason than the fact that it freaks me the hell out, here's a picture of a furless German bear that has apparently developed some sort of genetic skin condition. Does it or does it not look like a person wearing a bear suit or something out of "An American Werewolf in London?" Weird. Very weird.

Friday Odds & Ends: "30 Rock," bees, Wil Wheaton and "2013"

2009-11-06T11:15:00.003-05:00

+ Tina Fey shares her "10 Favorite '30 Rock' Moments." It's a terrific list -- very interesting to see which stuff makes her laugh.

+ If you haven't seen it yet, The New York Times did a wonderful audio/photo essay on beekeeping on the south lawn of The White House. It's really a lovely story.

+ Did you know that Wil Wheaton is secretly in the J.J. Abrams "Star Trek?" Yup. Although I guess it's not really a secret now. But still very cool!

+ Do we really need more depressing television? I vote no, but apparently, my vote doesn't count because we'll soon be getting a TV sequel to Roland Emmerich's "2012" disaster flick. I'm assuming the TV show will be similar in tone and execution to Cormac McCarthy's "The Road," right? But with commercials and glimpses of Jay Leno. Am I right or am I right?

+ So what did you guys think of "V" this week? I wasn't too thrilled with the first 40 minutes or so, but felt things started to roll toward the end. Color me mildly interested. I'll probably give it a second shot but I'm not sure if I want to go steady with it yet.

Wednesday Odds & Ends: Dr. Horrible sequel, Caprica, Roger Rabbit, fashion accessories and sleeping in space

2009-11-04T09:47:00.003-05:00

+ Sounds like plans for a "Dr. Horrible" sequel are well underway with a couple of new songs penned, a title decided on and interest from cast members in returning. So says Mr. Fillion, who would not lie to us.

+ And while I'm excited about the possibilities of more "Dr. Horrible," I'm less enthused about the idea of a new "Roger Rabbit," but apparently, there's a script being written and original "Roger" director Robert Zemeckis is involved. Thanks, Megan, for the link!

+ There's a new "Caprica" trailer out there, with glimpses of future guest star James Marsters, who pretty much makes any TV show better. Let's get him on "The View!"

+ Famed French anthropologist Claude Levi-Strauss passed away recently at the age of 100. And yes, while writing that sentence, I immediately thought about how cool it would be if he could have downloaded his consciousness into a Cylon body. I have problems...

+ Looking to gussy up your wardrobe? Check out these cute "Grr! Argh!" necklaces and these equally awesome John Cleese/Ministry of Silly Walks t-shirts. Thanks to CJP and Joanna for the tips!

+ And finally, if you have $4.4 million lying around, well, may I invite you to advertise heavily on The Park Bench? Of course, if that doesn't interest you, then you can use the cash to reserve a hotel room IN SPACE! Yes, make your reservations now for a room in the Galactic Suite Space Resort, scheduled to open in 2012. I wonder if they have turn-down service or would the little chocolates float off the pillow?

Tuesday Odds & Ends: Tennant in America, Whedon and the Terminator, Sir Christopher Lee and spiders

2009-11-03T10:38:00.005-05:00

+ This morning on ~~I Can't Believe She's Got Another Item on Tennant~~ The Park Bench, the big news is that David Tennant will be starring in a TV series pilot for NBC called "Rex Is Not Your Lawyer" about "a top Chicago litigator who begins suffering panic attacks and takes up coaching clients to represent themselves in court." Dear NBC, I know you like to do dumb things like put Jay Leno on the TV, but please let Tennant use his real accent. Please? I will buy you a cookie if you say yes.

+ Speaking of buying things, Joss Whedon has made a hilarious offer to buy the rights to "Terminator." In his "Open Letter to the Terminator Owners. From a Very Important Hollywood Mogul," Joss provides some insight into how he'd revive the franchise:

Terminator... of the Rings! Yeah, what if he time-travelled TOO far... back to when there was dragons and wizards? (I think it was the Dark Ages.) Hasta La Vista, Boramir! Cool, huh? "Now you gonna be Gandalf the Red!" RRRRIP! But then he totally helps, because he's a cyborg and he doesn't give a s#&% about the ring -- it has no power over him! And he can carry it AND Frodo AND Sam AND f@%& up some orcs while he's doing it. This stuff just comes to me. I mean it. (I will also offer $10,000 for the Lord of the Rings franchise).

+ Sci-fi, fantasy and horror legend Christopher Lee has been knighted for Prince Charles on behalf of the Queen for his contributions to drama and charity work. Well-deserved indeed!

+ Don't forget that "V" debuts tonight at 8 p.m. EST on ABC. The early reviews have been good so far.

+ Want to follow some cool folks who make comics? This site has compiled a list of comic book industry Twitterers for your easy reference.

+ Big science news this morning: apparently, the dinosaurs of Sussex never dusted, and as a result, scientists have found a 140-million-year-old spider web preserved in amber.

Monday Odds & Ends: Ouija boards, 'Lil Cthulu, type chess sets, space jogging and Christopher Walken

2009-11-02T10:37:00.005-05:00

+ USA Today has a preview of "BSG" alumna Katee Sackhoff's Nov. 23 appearance on "The Big Bang Theory." It sounds like a pretty clever idea, opening the door for future visits.

+ Well, here's a recipe for high-quality cinematic success: take the writers of "Tron Legacy" and have them write a movie about Ouija boards. I hope the end result is as good as when RKO signed Orson Welles to pen that movie about "Go Fish!," originally called "Do You Have Any Sixes?" and then later renamed "The Magnificent Ambersons."

+ Aww, so cute and evil -- check out "The Amazing Adventures of Lil Cthulu." Not only is it adorable in a dark and menacing way, it also taught me how to say "cthulu." It's a win-win!

+ The first footage from the new "Doctor Who" animated special, "Dreamland" has been released. As excited as I was about the initial concept drawings, I can't say I'm 100 percent thrilled with what it all looks like in action. What do you think? (via Blogtor Who)

+ Ever dreamed of combining your love of type and chess? Well, check out this Type Chess Set. (Via InnyM at Twitter)

+ This cool new exercise treadmill allows runners to trot along with an awesome anti-gravity feeling, something I'd much prefer over the usual "I'm running on pavement and pounding my shins into the ground." It's a little on the pricy side at $24,000 but hey, you can pretend you're running on the Moon. That's worth it, right?

+ And finally, what better way to start your Monday than with Christopher Walken doing a dramatic reading of Lady Gaga's song "Poker Face?"

Ewoks gone wild!

2009-10-31T10:57:00.002-05:00

You already may have seen or heard about this, but if you haven't, check out these two seriously messed up Ewoks as they disrupt a Today show segment from yesterday. Absolutely hilarious. Thanks for the link, Megan!

Nerd Man of the Month: Christopher Eccleston

2009-10-30T11:00:00.000-05:00

We haven't had many dark, brooding, intense Nerd Men of the Month before so we're taking care of all those adjectives in one fell swoop with Christopher Eccleston. The man is everywhere this month, gaining the best reviews of anyone in the new "Amelia" film and arriving on DVD in the flick, "G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra." And he's also just been cast in the upcoming film, "The Beautiful Fantastic" with fellow "Doctor Who" alum Carey Mulligan (Sally Sparrow in "Blink"). Also, he appears quite often in my DVD player and the depths of my unconscious. And now he's Nerd Man of the Month for October. It's almost an embarrassment of riches!

Eccleston is well-deserving of universal geek gratitude for helping Russell T. Davies bring the new "Doctor Who" to life. He may not have exhibited quite the fanboy enthusiasm others have in the role -- see "intense"and "brooding" above -- but his performance as The Doctor was simply without flaw. And let's face it, what with the farting aliens and space pigs being thrown in his path, Eccleston's "Who" burden may have been a bit heavier than his successors. He inhabited the role of The Doctor with an incredible energy and the ability to pivot seamlessly between rage, sadness, world-weariness, self-loathing, tenderness and occasionally, sheer unfettered joy. It's an incredible performance and served as the perfect way to usher in an exciting new era of "Who."

Beyond the "Who" realm, the man's just a phenomenal actor. Whether playing the son of God in Russell T. Davies' "The Second Coming" or the dastardly Duke of Norfolk in "Elizabeth" or a hate-filled modern day Iago in "Othello," the guy always gets the job done. Just watch this scene from "Jude," one of the more heartbreaking films you'll ever see, in which Eccleston's stone mason has just been rejected from a university despite his obvious intelligence and gets mocked by, of all people, a student played by David Tennant:

Eccleston possesses quite the nerd genre resume as well with turns in the hugely creepy ghost thriller "The Others," the hungry zombie flick "28 Days Later," a five-episode stint as Claude in "Heroes," and the aforementioned "G.I. Joe," which I intend to get drunk and watch at some point next week.

As with all our Nerd Man honorees, Eccleston just seems like a pleasant, hard-working guy. Even better, he's done loads of charity work for various organizations and is self-depracting enough to make fun of his admittedly unusual but still extraordinary good looks on a regular basis. So, a self-deprecating fellow who helped return "Doctor Who" to the spotlight, who shines in every role he's given and who rocks Elizabethan costuming far more effectively than any man has a right to -- what's not to love? That's why The Park Bench is pleased to name Christopher Eccleston as its Nerd Man of the Month.

Friday Odds & Ends: "Waters of Mars" date, "War of the Worlds," "Glee," "Bones" and the freakiest doll this side of Chucky

2009-10-30T08:40:00.001-05:00

+ Two weeks (and some change) until a new Who! The official air date for the upcoming Tennant special "Waters of Mars" has been announced: Sunday, November 15 at 7 p.m. UK time on BBC One. And then airing secretly in other places roughly 45 minutes after it ends.

+ If you're trying to get into the Halloween spirit, this might help. Starting tonight at 8 p.m. EST, you can listen to a streaming broadcast of Orson Welles' classic "War of the Worlds" production -- yep, the one that terrified half the East Coast in 1938.

+ Speaking of the classics, Ridley Scott has been talking a bit more about the prequel he's doing to the "Alien" films.

+ The new trailer for season 8 of "24" has arrived...and looks shockingly like pretty much all the rest of the seasons of "24" except there's a cute little girl who no doubt will be in jeopardy roughly seven minutes after the new season starts. That's not a spoiler; just an educated and cynical guess.

+ Have you heard? SyFy has plans to create an American version of "Being Human." Here's what series creator Toby Whithouse has to say, politely, about the whole thing.

+ Need a little "Glee" to go with your World Series baseball? Then be sure to tune in when the "Glee" cast sings the National Anthem before Game Three tomorrow night. Thanks, Megan, for the tip!

+ I've always wondered about relative size when it comes to science-y things like cells and atoms. Reader Emily was kind enough to send a link to this cool Cell Size and Scale interactive graphic, which uses a zoom to show you exactly how small things relate to each other size wise. Just use the bar along the bottom and prepare to have your mind blown. (Unless you already know all this stuff; then just prepare to be reminded.)

+ FOX has confirmed that Zooey Deschanel will guest star alongside her sister Emily on "Bones" for a Dec. 10 episode called "The Goop on the Girl" which I no doubt will make the mistake of trying to watch right as I sit down to dinner.

+ And if you'd like to be both horrified and amused this Friday morning, check out Mattel's new Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken Doll. No, seriously, that's what it's called and it's real. The best part, seriously, is the little dog. Also, the fact that Ken's hair looks like a terrible toupee. Awesome!

10 Reasons Dating a Vampire Sucks

2009-10-29T13:25:00.004-05:00

10. They can't go outside in the daytime.
Honestly, you might as well be dating a well-dressed rock for all the daytime action you won't be enjoying with this dead weight around your neck. No days out at the art fair or trips to the ballgame. Even if you somehow get him to the beach, he'll just embarrass you with his gamy white skin before bursting into flames and taking his shame with him. And in the time it takes him to immolate, you wouldn't even be able to roast a marshmallow. Vampires even ruin beach s'mores. Jerks.

9. They don't like garlic...and now you can't either.
Remember all those fun times and delicious meals you had at your local Olive Garden? Yeah, I hope you took some pictures because those were the last bread sticks and meatballs you'll ever ingest, thanks to the big pasty loser moping next to you.

8. They're invisible in mirrors.
Vampires can't see their own reflections. That means your bloodlusty beau will be depending on you, missy, to tell him what he looks like EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY. "Do these pants make me look hippy?" "Does this cape make me look fey?" "Is my widow's peak too derivative of Grandpa Munster?" Natter, natter, natter. Trust me, you're going to wish you could stake him twice.

7. They're nocturnal.
You know how sometimes your cat spazzes out and gets all hyper in the middle of the night, running back and forth over your face and yowling until you pet it? Right there? That's your new boyfriend. He just hasn't decided to poop in a box yet.

6. Stranger in a strange land syndrome
Have you ever gone to a foreign country and met one of your countrymen out of the blue and suddenly, you two are best friends because there's no one else like you within a 50 mile radius? Count Lonelypants is going to do that too. He'll want to be friends with every other vampire he runs into. And then he'll drag them back to your place and they'll stay up all night drinking hamsters and talking about how much Transylvania's changed and how you never want to let him bite you anymore even though you guys used to bite each other like bunnies four or five times a day. Wah, wah, wah!

5. He'll relate to every vampyric pop culture reference ever made.
Want to make a joke about "Twilight?" He'll sulk for days. Casually mention that no vampire will ever be better than Spike? He'll lock himself in his casket for a week. Declare that Coppola's "Dracula" wasn't as bad as you remembered? He'll freeze you out for months. Even worse, he'll get all excited about the vampires he likes -- Count Chocula, Bram Stoker, Ann Coulter. Boring!

4. He'll be skittish around the word "stake."
No more "going Outback tonight" for you guys. The first time he hears "$9.99 for a 6 ounce steak" he's going to run like a pretty little girl, and berate you for your insensitivity. And then you'll laugh and laugh and laugh...

3. He'll be all arrogant and authoritative about vampire lore.
Could Bugs Bunny really turn that vampire into a bat by saying, "Hocus Pocus?" Would the mullets of "The Lost Boys" have been accepted within the stylist wheelhouse? Do fang whiteners really work? And how the hell do you floss overgrown incisors anyway? He'll tell you, and probably in a fancy voice.

2. One word: capes
Some of your more old school and debonair vampires likely will wear capes, better suited to sweeping departures down dark alleys and hiding stolen watches for sale after baseball games. That's all well and good, but here's your problem. Have you ever tried to hang up a cape? It's impossible! There's no shoulders or sleeves; they just slide right off the hanger. So then you just drape them over a chair right? No, because then they get wrinkled. How about hanging them over a balcony? Again with the wrinkles. You could pin them to something, but then there's holes in the fabric. You, quite literally, will spend weeks trying to figure out what to do with this goddamn cape.

1. Everyone hates a biter.
Remember in grade school when there was always some little boy named Timmy or Blake who would run up and just randomly bite people to get attention? Remember how much you hated him and tried to stuff him into the tire swing? Your buddy Count Nipalot is going to want to bite you ALL THE TIME. And sure, the first few times are fun if you're into that, but after a while, you're going to get anemic and then you're going to have to eat more spinach. So think about that: biting and spinach. What kind of life is that?

What do you think? What reasons would keep you from becoming the warmer half of a vampire couple?

Wednesday Odds & Ends: Adama, Star Trek onesies, Wolfman, Bioshock and Facebook

2009-10-28T09:11:00.005-05:00

Thanks everyone for all of the great Nerd Man nominations yesterday. All of the suggestions were terrific and I'm putting them in my to-do file, so they'll all get their turn soon! And now on to the news of the day:

+ Would you like to have dinner with Edward James Olmos? Personally, I'm intimidated by the man just watching him on TV, but I'm sure there are bolder folks than me out there. In conjunction with the recent release of the "BSG" prequel movie, "The Plan," UGO has announced a "Dinner with the Admiral" contest. Just answer a few trivia questions and you'll be entered in the drawing. Good luck!

+ If you have a baby and would like to turn it into a nerd before it can even walk or roll over on its own, here's your chance! You can now purchase Star Trek uniform onesies. Awesome!

+ There's a new trailer out for the "Bioshock 2" game, which is absolutely one of my favorite games ever. Not to play, mind you -- I have the dexterity of a chimp with no hands -- but to watch. It actually had a compelling plot and the graphics were just gorgeous. Can't wait to watch the husband play this one!

+ What if "Harry Potter" had come out in the 1980s? This cartoonist takes a few guesses involving, among other things, Christopher Lloyd and David Bowie.

+ Doesn't this kind of creep you out? Facebook will turn accounts into memorials for deceased users. I'm not sure if I want all my Scrabulous scores and unanswered RSVPs etched in digital stone for all eternity. How do you feel about it?

+ Want to see Benicio del Toro get all shaggy and Anthony Hopkins nibble on scenery? Then check out the new trailer for "The Wolfman" over at Apple. Looks pretty...but it also looks like something I've seen a hundred times before. It puts me in a mind to howl, though, and that's always fun. Join me, won't you? A-woooooo!

Tuesday Odds & Ends: Captain Mal, colliding galaxies, T. rex arms, video games and Nerd Man nominations

2009-10-27T08:54:00.004-05:00

+ How great was the return of Captain Mal last night on "Castle?" If you didn't get a chance to see it, thr.com had the clip, which I'm posting below:

+ Hulu has the first 9 minutes of "V" available for viewing. I haven't had a chance to watch it myself yet but I've heard slightly tepid things about it. Let me know what you think.

+ The "Star Trek" media empire is ready to conquer another genre: the live stage show. Designed for theme parks and performance centers, the show will take audience members on the interactive journey through space with Kirk and Spock.

+ Here's some good news: apparently "Arrested Development" creator Mitchell Hurwitz is in the process of writing a script for the AD movie that everyone's been hoping for and talking about for so long. Can't wait to see Will Arnett on a Segway again!

+ Check out this terrific PSA that Felicia Day did for NASA about colliding galaxies. It's really...funny! Who knew NASA had it in them?

+ This item is pretty much for my husband who calls me "T. rex arms" when I stand with my hands a certain way -- I would like for him to read this article here that clearly states that although T. rex's had tiny arms in comparison to the rest of their ginormous bodies, those tiny arms could still curl roughly 430 pounds and rip a human arm out of its socket. Yeah!

+ Which segues naturally into this next item on how playing video games together can be good couples therapy. I believe that statement to be 100 percent true.

+ If you enjoy a little nerdy humor with your Bible study, check out Park Bench reader Adam's videos. He does a nice job injecting some levity into the Good Book and manages to name-check Buffy and Erasmus within five minutes of each other. If my priest had done that, I probably wouldn't be the card-carrying fearful agnostic I am today. There went my soul, all for want of a pop culture reference...

+ And finally, if you'd like a double dose of Nerd Men of the Month goodness, check out this interview with Joss Whedon conducted by Ira Glass -- two past winners together at last! The interview took place in support of 826NYC and their creative writing programs for kids; a very worthy cause indeed! Thank you, Austen, for sending the link!

Speaking of Nerd Men, as you can tell, the month of October is drawing to a close and I'm ashamed to admit it, but I'm in need of some Nerd Man nominations. Any ideas?

Friday Odds & Ends: Tennant, Dollhouse, tauntauns

2009-10-23T08:37:00.004-05:00

Just a super-short update this morning, I'm afraid. More newsy goodness on Monday. Have a great weekend!

+ Ladies, if you have your bibs handy, you might want to check out this new series of interviews with David Tennant conducted by PBS for his upcoming stint as host of "Masterpiece Contemporary." He talks about acting, his career, "Doctor Who" and uses the word "simulacrum" in every day conversation.

+ "Dollhouse" is going bye-bye for the month of November, while FOX tries to boast its ratings by showing, uh, re-runs of other shows. Whatever. Anyway, "Dollhouse" will be back in December with new episodes.

+ Here's a tasty treat for any social gathering: an eviscerated tauntaun cake, complete with sleepy-from-hypothermia Luke Skywalker. It's the frosting entrails that really make it art.

Google Wave: What the Hell Is It?

2009-10-22T14:06:00.009-05:00

For weeks now, I've been hearing people talk about Google Wave yet I have no idea what it is or what it does or what it's for. And I can't seem to muster enough enthusiasm to find out. So I've decided to remain ignorant on the matter for as long as possible and instead offer up my guesses as to what Google Wave might be. I've devised several possibilities:

1) It's a device that will be implanted in sports fans -- by invitation only -- and provide an electric shock to let those fans know when it's time to stand up, cheer and throw their arms in the air at sporting events. The shock will be mild enough to not cause fire or loss of bladder control, but strong enough to remind people that sports teams aren't paid to just sit around and cheer for themselves.

2) It's a mechanism that will enable actual live cats to wave like a Japanese lucky cat, i.e., like this:

With this one, I predict trouble and assume that after a short period of time, the cats will rebel and "lucky cat" will become synonymous with murderous, rampaging felines hellbent on restoring their former dignity and asserting themselves over humanity, mostly by vomiting binary hairballs.

3) Google Wave may also be the search engine giant's attempt at bringing back the classic hairstyle of the 1960s, beloved by playful gentlemen such as this fellow, who was once beaten mercilessly by Don Draper for even bothering to grow facial hair when obviously his only intention was to mistreat it. True fact: despite the pummeling, the wave never moved.

4) Perhaps the Wave is a carnival ride, designed to spin children in thrilling and entertaining ways before some carny forgets to lock the gate and all hell breaks loose and before you know it, Ralph Nader's all over Google's back about safety issues and Google's like, "yeah, whatever, if your seat belts had worked, Timmy wouldn't be in that tree right now" and Ralph Nader's like, "Yeah, that's what your mom said," and Google's all confused and eventually the two sides just lose interest and Timmy has to stay in the tree until a kitten climbs up there and the fire department decides to rescue both of them. Yay, happy ending!

5) Fingers crossed, but I'm really hoping that Google Wave is what we've all decided to call New New Wave music, meaning synthesizers and eye liner for men is on it's way back, baby! Return to me, Flock of Seagulls and Wang Chung! Let us dance as the wind blows through your ruffled shirts and then stops dead at the gates of your over-moussed hair. New New Wave music would be the greatest gift Google ever gave me besides the image search that gave me that one picture of David Tennant in a kilt.

6) Is it simply one of these, and this is Google's way of telling me they finally own everything on the face of the Earth, including nature and the wave that made Keanu Reeves look awesome in "Point Break?"

Whatever Google Wave turns out to be, I just hope it's not some lame-ass application meant to streamline my work and home life. I already have one of those. It's called a piece of paper and a pencil. Now bring me New New Wave!

Thursday Odds & Ends: Tintin, cow abductions, Sackhoff, Cleese and the mighty pens of Frost, Pegg and Wright, if you know what I mean

2009-10-22T08:50:00.004-05:00

+ Hot on the heels of Wil Wheaton's appearance Monday night, "Big Bang Theory" continues to rack up the cool, geek guest stars. "Battlestar" alumna Katee Sackhoff will appear as herself in a cameo on the show's Nov. 23 episode.

+ I present to you, the most awesome home furnishing ever invented: the alien cow abduction lamp. Oh, it is mighty and grand...and limited edition so buy now.

+ What does it take to break the Guinness World record for watching video games? Yoga, an ability to digest dates and 40 spare hours to kill. Yeah, this guy played "Grand Theft Auto IV" for 40 straight hours and didn't even take half the breaks Guinness afforded him as part of its rules. Wow. I don't know if that's sad or impressive. Probably a little of both.

+ So, how do "Hot Fuzz" creators Simon Pegg, Edgar Wright and Nick Frost entertain themselves on a Wednesday afternoon? They take to Twitter and write slash fiction stories about their characters, of course. Honestly, it's hilarious and completely immature and Edgar Wright was kind enough to compile the entire conversation on his website. I'm so glad I found his recap because at one point yesterday, I recall stumbled in halfway through the conversation apparently, with odd mentions of cudgels and Pringle's cans from Pegg and Frost. I just figured it was a normal day's chat.

+ If you want a closer look at Nathan Fillion's upcoming Halloween costume on "Castle," this preview is worth checking out. Also, vampires and a Buffy namecheck!

+ Sci-Fi Wire has some new tidbits on the upcoming "Tintin" movie, which is being produced by Peter Jackson and directed by Steven Spielberg from a script that includes contributions from "Doctor Who"'s Steven Moffat and Edgar Wright, slash fiction auteur mentioned above...okay, a co-creator of "Shaun of the Dead" and "Hot Fuzz."

+ Rolling Stone has a nifty interview with John Cleese, mostly about the recent DVD release of "Fawlty Towers" but also a bit about Python.

+ And finally, Scientific American has an excerpt from a new book chronicling the life of Mary Anning, who unearthed scores and scores of dinosaur bones in the 19th century when people were still scratching their heads and trying to figure out what these things were. Many credit here with being one of the world's first paleontologists, if not the first. Well done, Mary!

In This Nerd's Opinion: The 11 Best Monty Python Bits

2009-10-21T13:05:00.001-05:00

IFC's spectacular six-part documentary on Monty Python has gotten me into the Python spirit all over again. (Thanks, IFC!) As a result, here are my top 11 favorite Python moments, in no particular order.

Upper Class Twit of the Year
Absolutely hysterical. From the door slamming bit to the removal of the debutantes' bras to the not-so-surprisingly difficult leap over the wall made of match box, this is pure gold.

What Have the Romans Done For Us? from Monty Python's Life of Brian
As a former classics major with a thing for Romans, this bit cracks me up every time.

Four Yorkshireman from Live at the Hollywood Bowl
For anyone who's ever sat through a particularly appalling pity party, consider yourself lucky it wasn't this one, where four Yorkshiremen recount their poverty-stricken childhoods living in boxes, lakes and, well, whatever was handy really.

French Taunter from Monty Python and the Holy Grail
An oldie but a goodie -- and perhaps every geek child's favorite inspiration for insouciant insults.

Killer Rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Oh, the vagaries of rabbit rage! Who knows why rabbits attack? I'm just grateful they do in this wonderful scene where King Arthur's knights don't quite take this fearsome bunny seriously -- "What's he do? Nibble your bum?" -- with rather dire consequences.

Little Red Riding Hood from Live at the Hollywood Bowl
While the stoutly masculine casting for Little Red Riding Hood is a hoot, it's really the Wolf that makes this one work.

The Parrot Sketch
What can I say about this sketch? It's just perfect -- a brilliant mix of rage on Cleese's part and absurdist excuse making from Palin. This one's a classic for a reason.

Argument Clinic
There's nothing particularly spectacular about this one -- it's just silly and it works.

I Want to Be A Woman from Monty Python's Life of Brian
Stan wants to be called Loretta from now on...oh, and he wants to have babies, even if they will have to gestate in a box.

Exploding Penguin
This is one of my all-time, absolute favorite sketches for one very simple reason: the way Graham Chapman shouts "Burma!" That and "Intercourse the penguin!" reduces me to a giggling mess every time I see it.

Fish Slapping Dance
Not only is this bit my favorite Monty Python moment, it's also potentially one of my very favorite bits of comedy ever devised. It's so simple, so ridiculous and just wordlessly perfect.

So there's my 11 cents. What are your favorite Python bits?

Wednesday Odds & Ends: The Nook, X-Files, Glee, Castle, Weather Channel and slacking off

2009-10-21T08:50:00.000-05:00

Sorry about yesterday: I had to cancel Tuesday due to basement sewage issues, getting vomited on by a cat and a headache that felt as though a team of Clydesdales was kicking its way to freedom from my cranium. So let's move on to Wednesday, shall we?

+ Have you seen Barnes and Noble's sleek new Kindle competitor called The Nook? (Smaller models, I assume, will be called Nookie?) It's got a cool sharing capability so you can still swap books with your friends. And it's available at a relatively reasonable price of $260. Saucy!

+ David Duchovny would like to see a third "X-Files" movie but hopes it will focus on the alien conspiracy rather than a monster of the week tale. In related news, I saw "Californication" for the first time last night and really enjoyed it. Duchovny should do comedy all the time.

+ Joss Whedon will be directing an upcoming episode of "Glee," the Fox musical series.

+ In other very good TV news, ABC has picked up "Castle" for a full season. More Nathan, more happy.

+ Wil Wheaton writes eloquently, as always, about his guest appearance on "The Big Bang Theory" this past Monday.

+ In the category of "sure, why the hell not?" comes this news of The Weather Channel adding a movie night to their lineup. Called "The Weather Channel Presents...," the network will air a tenuously weather-related movie each week beginning October 30 with "The Perfect Storm" followed by "March of the Penguins" and "Misery"...because there was a snow storm in that one that I barely recall but sure, why the hell not?

+ You know how sometimes you're just sitting at work and you start staring into space and then 20 minutes later, you realize you're slack-jawed, drooling and thinking about Wookiees? Apparently, science says that may be a good thing. I suggest you print the article out and tape it to yourself the next time the boss gets snippy. "I'm being creative, my good man! Leave me be!"

Monday Odds & Ends: Pushing Daisies, V, Neil Patrick Harris, Halloween and build a critter

2009-10-19T08:37:00.001-05:00

+ I have no idea how I missed this before, but did you know that "Pushing Daisies" is living on in a 12-part series of comic books for DC Comics?

+ The other night I saw Neil Patrick Harris in a very old, very bad episode of "The Outer Limits" where he got to shoot an evil alien worm out of his nose. Barney would have been appalled. In other news, NPH will be doing a musical turn as a Gotham City villain in an upcoming episode of "Batman: The Brave and the Bold."

+ If you see a giant "V" in the skies next Friday, don't freak out -- it's just ABC's way of promoting the new "V" miniseries. The network has hired skywriters to write "V"s in the skies over some of the country's most popular national monuments. Cooler than a billboard, I guess.

+ Want to plan your Halloween-themed TV viewing? TV Tango has a list of upcoming Halloween programming including TWO showings of "The Great Pumpkin." Woo!

+ Early reviews are coming in for "Amelia," which opens this Friday, and they're pretty good for the most part. Really looking forward to seeing this...right after I see "Where the Wild Things Are."

+ So, io9 had this fake post about a genetically-engineered cat with radar dishes for ears. And it got me thinking, if you could play Frankenstein and use, say, five characteristics from any other creature -- living, dead or fictional -- out there, what would you build? I've been thinking about this...a lot...and I've decided I'd create the following:

A capybara with Ultraman's flying abilities, Henry Kissinger's speaking voice, roller skates on its paws and Sherlock Holme's powers of deduction. He would be the world's most lovable detective, and that would be my contribution to science.

What would you build?

Friday Oods & Ands: a Simpsons character of your own, awesome Nathan, cylons on CBS and candy!

2009-10-16T10:07:00.006-05:00

+ Now's your chance to put those TV watching skills to good use! FOX has launched a new contest inviting fans to create a new "Simpsons" character who will appear on the show. More details will hopefully be available soon at thesimpsons.com website, although there's nothing there right now that I could find. Then again, I am very old and bright colors scare me so I may have missed it.

+ In other generally awesome news, if you haven't seen Nathan Fillion's Halloween costume yet for "Castle," check out this link. Some may consider it a spoiler (like my husband did) but I just think it's cute. Nathan surely knows how to please his fans. (Thanks, AJ, for the link!)

+ Even former Cylons need paychecks: BSG's Tricia Helfer will be guest starring on the greatest comedy ever produced by humankind! That's right -- "Two and a Half Men." Oh, Tricia.

+ Did you know that Bram Stoker's great-grandnephew has written a sequel to "Dracula?" Neither did I. It's called "The Un-Dead" and picks up 25 years after the original novel's ending. USA Today seems to think it's pretty good. Then again, they sometimes have an entire section devoted to NASCAR so...

+ With Halloween on the horizon, here's a list of the 10 Best Halloween Candies of All-Time. (Thanks to my pal Mary for the link!) I've gotta agree with their choice of Hershey's Krackel at number one. What do you think? What's your favorite Halloween treat?

Thursday Odds & Ends: Greatest American Hero, vampires, Monty Python, Latin phrases and your brain on books

2009-10-15T11:52:00.004-05:00

+ More good news for Douglas Adams' fans: it sounds like the BBC is creating a TV dramedy based on the author's Dirk Gently detective novels. I'm still catching up on the whole "Hitchhiker's Guide" thing, so I've no idea if this is a "wahoo!" moment or an "eh" moment, but here it is nonetheless!

+ Apparently, Nathan Fillion would like to revive the 1980s classic TV series, "The Greatest American Hero." Which, for all my bitching and moaning about the lack of original ideas out there, is one thing I would absolutely love to see someday. I adored that show as a kid and I adore looking at Nathan Fillion as an adult, so it's a win-win, right?

+ Would you like to participate in the democratic process today? Then why not vote on vampires? The Paley Center is running a poll on favorite TV vampires. So far, Spike is running away with it but it looks like those "True Blood" boys could make up some (unhallowed) ground.

+ I kind of love this list on "10 Latin Phrases You Pretend to Understand" because I pretend to understand words I don't understand all the time. (What?)

+ The New York Times has an interesting debate on how the brain responds to e-books, with scientists and academics chiming in with their opinions.

+ Tonight marks the beginning of festivities celebrating the 40th anniversary of Monty Python. All of the remaining Pythons will be gathering in New York's Ziegfeld Theatre this evening for a restrospective, which you can watch live online here. And then on Sunday, ICF launches part one of its six-part documentary, "Monty Python: Almost the Truth," beginning at 9 p.m. EST.

Wednesday Odds & Ends: Jack Ryan, Toy Story 3, Star Wars meets 30 Rock and a cute slow loris

2009-10-14T10:16:00.004-05:00

+ Captain Kirk 2.0 himself is apparently in talks to revamp another classic character. Yep, Chris Pine may take on the role of Tom Clancy's CIA analyst Jack Ryan, previously played with saucy aplomb by Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford. I know I'd tune in.

+ Pixar has released their trailer for "Toy Story 3" which is due out in theaters next June. I will admit I got a bit nostalgic seeing Buzz and Woody again. Here it is for your viewing pleasure, via Cinemablend. You also can see it in HD over at the Apple site.

+ Gandalf aka Ian McKellen got chatty recently with Empire Magazine, sharing details on the upcoming "Hobbit" film as well as a few nuggets on "X-Men."

+ The creator of "Gilmore Girls," Amy Sherman-Palladino, has a new deal with HBO to do a series about "three adult sisters, all writers sharing the same upper east side apartment building, and their mother, a domineering literary lioness who reserves most of her affections for their ne'er-do-well brother." It sounds a bit like a modern Bronte family. Given how much love was shown for literature and the written word on "Gilmore Girls," this is a series I'll definitely try.

+ This list of the Top 10 Funniest "X-Files" Episodes had me digging through my DVD collection yesterday. I have to say, though, I'm shocked "War of the Coprophages" didn't make the list.

+ If you're feeling in the encylopedic mood and want to celebrate the return of Liz Lemon tomorrow night, check out TheForce.Net's list of each and every "Star Wars" reference in "30 Rock." I knew there were a lot but wow, that list is long!

+ And finally, here's a video that amused me greatly yesterday: a creature called a slow loris getting tickled and scratched...and loving every second of it. No, it doesn't take a lot to entertain me.

Tuesday Odds & Ends: "Star Trek," Hitchhikers and "Good Eats"

2009-10-13T11:05:00.005-05:00

It's a bit of a slow nerdy news day, but we do have a few highlights:

+ Looking for a good laugh? Check out the "Star Trek XI" gag reel that's been circulating. Zachary Quinto is quite adorable...and does a hilarious Scottish accent. Or was it Irish? Dutch maybe?

+ This week marks the 30th anniversary of the publication of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." And a new book, touted as the sixth installment in the series, has been released to mark the occasion. It's written by Eoin Colfer, the author of the Artemis Fowl series.

+ There's a new trailer out for "The Sarah Jane Adventures," featuring a few snippets of David Tennant's upcoming appearances. Sadly, there are also Slitheen, which just make me want to cry. Dumbest aliens ever created...

+ In the "well, that's nice of them" category, Fox has announced that it will air all 13 episodes of "Dollhouse" this season, mostly based on the show's decent DVR numbers.

+ NPR has a story on food wizard Alton Brown and ten years of his show "Good Eats," an occasion Brown is marking with the release of a new book on the series.

News flash: help write a Gaiman short story

2009-10-13T08:59:00.003-05:00

Running a bit behind on today's Odds & Ends, but I wanted to make sure you knew about the Neil Gaiman short story writing experiment today, starting at noon EST on Twitter. In collaboration with BBC Audiobooks America, Gaiman is offering 1,000 fans the chance to write a sentence each of a new story that will be recorded by BBC Audiobooks upon completion and offered for free download. Gaiman will pen the first line followed by everyone else with their 140-character or less contribution.

To participate, you must follow @BBCAA and tweet with the hashtag #bbcawdio. Official rules and disclaimers are at the BBC Audiobooks blog.

The whole thing seems like it'll be utter chaos but probably a lot of fun. Enjoy!

"Cabin in the Woods" delayed for no good reason at all; or why I hate 3-D

2009-10-12T12:48:00.005-05:00

Late last week, it was announced that the release of Joss Whedon's highly-anticipated horror flick, "Cabin in the Woods," would be delayed an entire year. Originally scheduled for February 5, 2010, the film now won't hit theaters until Jan. 14, 2011. Why? Because early response to the film has been so good, MGM has decided to make it even better by making it 3-D.

Sweet fancy Moses, this just makes me cranky. Not only because now I have to wait a whole damn year, but more importantly, because no movie has ever been made better for being rendered in 3-D. Sure, it's kind of a cool effect and when it works properly, it's mildly intriguing to go, "Oooh, it's like Harry Potter's pointing his wand right at me!" and then giggling for a few minutes because it sounds dirty but that's it. There is no other redeeming feature about 3-D at all.

If I want my entertainment in three-dimensions, I'll go to a little something called a theatre where there are actors on this other thing called a stage. (Sometimes, there's even what's known as a thrust stage where the stage extends into the audience and it's almost like the stage is coming right at me!!) Also, all of the people in the story have been rendered by God or Darwin or plastic surgeons into actual three-dimensional beings that move and talk. It's very realistic.

Now, just to avoid problems in the future, I'd like to ask the entertainment industry to please refrain from making or re-making the following films and/or TV shows in 3-D:

Citizen Kane
Any Fellini film, because who needs nightmares like that for the rest of their lives?
Jimmy Durante movies
Gerard Depardieu movies
Anything with sword fighting
Anything with cannons or large rockets, speaking of which:
Apollo 11
Boogie Nights

Oh, and Jaws...am I too late on that one?

In short, I don't want to have to wait a year to see "Cabin in the Woods" and I really hate 3-D.

What do you think? Are you a fan of that third dimension?

Monday Odds & Ends: "Chuck," Nimoy, literati for sale, Tennant, Pegg, and oh yes, Miley

2009-10-12T09:01:00.004-05:00

+ Great news for fans of "Chuck!" Because NBC's fall schedule is already quietly imploding, the network may be bringing "Chuck" back earlier than expected. Originally, new episodes were set to air in March. Now, the show might come back as early as the end of this month.

+ Interested in finding out what the wizened elder statesmen of sci-fi thinks about his role on "Fringe?" Then check out this interview with Leonard Nimoy on his character William Bell and how generally awesome he thinks J.J. Abrams is.

+ You know how sometimes the cost of shoes in the Nieman Marcus catalog can make you cry? It's nothing compared to the price tag on this truly rare and unusual gift: a $200,000 dinner for you and a guest with "eight of the brightest minds of modern literature, journalism and the arts." Yes, you can buy dinner with such literary luminaries as Christopher Buckley, Malcolm Gladwell, Nora and Delia Ephron and George Stephanopolous. Never fear, though, the writers aren't selling out. They're doing it for charity. Still, though, I bet I could get a foot rub from Stephanopolous for another $100 in cash.

+ I've never been able to get excited about "X-Men" but I'm sure a lot of folks will be happy with this news: Bryan Singer might return to direct the next "X-Men" installment.

+ Daniel Radcliffe is doing a reading of the musical "How to Succeed in Business" in New York with the idea that the show might be relaunched sometime soon.

+ Let's all sit down a moment for this one: David Tennant is rumored to be starring in a new film with...Simon Pegg -- and yes, that's where I hiccuped in joy. Called "Burke and Hare," it's directed by John Landis and described as a period comedy about, of all things, 19th century graverobbers in Edinburgh.

+ And in perhaps the best handling of any Chris Carter project to date, there's a rumor that Fox is planning to adapt Carter's other semi-successful show "Millennium"...without him. But with creepy Lance Henrickson, so I see this as a win-win for everyone!

+ Oh, and here's that video of Miley Cyrus "rapping" her farewell to Twitter. Why, you ask, would I post this? Mostly because she rhymes "people" with "pimple" but also because it's Monday, I'm unemployed and sometimes laughing at dumb children is the only thing that makes my day feel special. Enjoy!

"Fringe," you've won me back, and I promise never to leave you again!

2009-10-08T12:27:00.005-05:00

Rarely does a television viewer's patience get rewarded. More often than not, shows that start out weak end up weak. And a lot of times, shows that start out great take a nosedive by the end of the season. But sometimes, there's that rare show that falls down at the beginning, takes a moment to get up and dust itself off and then never looks back. "Fringe" is one of those shows, and this season, it's quickly become the one series I look forward to more than any other.

When "Fringe" debuted last fall, I eagerly tuned in because, hey, a new J.J. Abrams production. While the show had some intriguing ideas, a good cast and some nifty effects, it lacked heart and it lacked drive. It was like getting a beautifully wrapped gift and finding nothing inside. So I stopped watching about halfway through the season.

Just recently, the husband and I decided to try again, and we quickly Netflixed our way through the rest of season one. It was difficult not to be thoroughly impressed with just how good "Fringe" got by the end of that first year. Our heroine Olivia became interesting! From the beginning, I'd felt that the Olivia character was the weak link in the show. Such a stiff, she had nothing to do but get creeped out by the ghostly memories of her dead boyfriend. Granted, adding a sister and a niece didn't really do the trick either, but putting her front and center in the series' grand mystery and tying her more closely to the dark pasts of mad scientist Walter and his son Peter finally made the show take off. It's amazing what having an active protagonist can do!

And oh boy, did the show ever flesh out the Walter character. John Noble is, hands down, the main reason to watch "Fringe." His portrayal of Walter is so charming and so heartbreakingly...well...delicate, you can't help but be moved. And yes, I may have sniffled when Olivia gave him a smackdown at the end of season one -- sure, it was deserved but Walter can't help what he's done!

It's taken until the new season for Joshua Jackson's Peter character to really take off. Finally, he seems to be more of an active participant rather than just a snarky tag-along who looks really good in sweaters. I'm very much looking forward to finding out how a rather large discovery last season plays out for his character.

All of the peripheral characters are beginning to shine as well from Astrid, who's quickly becoming Walter's best friend and not just his reluctant caretaker, to Broyles, Olivia's FBI chief who definitely seems to have some sort of juicy past...yet who still scares me because he's played by Lance Reddick, who was so effectively creepy on "Lost."

And best of all, I love the fact that this show has embraced its "X-Files"-y nature. The little nods to the series this year shows me that "Fringe" has stopped trying to pretend it's not a rip-off (in the best possible way) of "X-Files" and instead just seems focused on avoiding all the mistakes that led to its predecessors downfall. For a show that just keeps getting better and better, I think there's a very good chance it'll do just that.

How about you? Are you enjoying the new season so far?

Thursday Odds & Ends: Nobels, vooks, Tudyks, Phantoms and origami

2009-10-08T09:08:00.005-05:00

+ The Nobel Prize for Literature was announced today, and yet again I was shut out, apparently disqualified for not actually having written a "book" of any kind. Luckily, the Swedes had a back-up author handy and awarded the prize to Herta Mueller, a Romanian-born German writer. Her win prompted what I find to be a hilarious headline from Entertainment Weekly: "Another obscure Nobel Prize literature winner! Sigh." I know, I can't believe J.K. Rowling and Nora Roberts were shut out again this year either. Damn it!

+ While we're on the subject of books and such, have you guys heard of a Vook? It's a book that incorporates video into the narrative. So if you're reading "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" on your Kindle or iTouch, you might see Quasimodo pop up on your screen and wave seductively at you. Or something like that. As the reviewer mentions in the linked article, you can see how this might work well in a non-fiction or how-to book, but it seems really weird and unnecessary to me for fiction. Don't you think?

+ Time Out London has a nifty list of the 50 Greatest Animated Films, compiled with help from director and former Monty Python animator Terry Gilliam...so you know the list will probably be very odd and go on for at least 10 films longer than it should. (I say that with love, of course. "Brazil" is one of my favorite movies.)

+ Speaking of Pythons, have you ever wanted to see Alan Tudyk doing a Monty Python sketch in drag? Of course you have! And now's your chance because he's starring in a show called "An Evening Without Monty Python" at the Town Hall in New York. I think the purse goes quite well with his eyes.

+ And while I was reading about Tudyk and Python and Broadway, oh my, I also stumbled upon this little newsy nugget: an "Addams Family" musical starring Bebe Neuwirth and Nathan Lane is opening in March on Broadway. It could be fun -- although to me, no one will ever top Raul Julia as Gomez Addams. He was dreamy in those movies.

+ Okay, I seem to have turned into a theatre obsessive this morning, but I promise this is my last piece of news about the Great White Way or Shark or whatever it's called. I had no idea this was happening, but apparently, there's a "Phantom of the Opera" sequel set to debut in London on March 9, 2010. It's called "Love Never Dies," it takes place after the events of "Phantom" and I swear this is what the article says, it "continues the story of the obsessive Phantom, who has moved from the Paris Opera House to haunt the fairgrounds of New York's Coney Island." Somewhere, Gaston Leroux is triple-lutzing in his coffin. I don't think I'll be seeing this show unless it stars a pantsless John Barrowman and even then, well...okay, I'd be pretty interested in seeing that.

+ In other ridiculous news, Oscar-winning actor Adrien Brody has decided to further tank his career by signing on to star in the new series of "Predator" movies, produced by Robert Rodriguez. Oh man, as if "King Kong" wasn't bad enough...

+ Check out this trailer for a documentary called "Between the Folds" which profiles 10 artists and scientists who have devoted their lives to origami. Really some gorgeous work...

Wednesday Odds & Ends: embarrassed pets, Edgar Allan Poe, sad crafts and Doctor Who

2009-10-07T08:36:00.009-05:00

Wednesday? How did it get to be Wednesday? What the hell happened to Tuesday? Anyway, despite my chronological confusion, let's carry on with today's news...a lot of which involves yesterday's news.

+ First, let's start with the cheerfully disturbing: Sci-Fi Wire's 20 Great Costumes To Dress Up Your Pet. These are great, especially the pug one which looks both horribly wrong and yet totally right.

I love how pissed off the cat looks and then the poor mummy dog is just like, "Whatever. I choose to place my mind somewhere else."

+ The Edgar Allan Poe Museum in Richmond, VA is planning a recreation of Poe's funeral for fans and visitors. According to the AP article, "Poe's cousin Neilson Poe, never announced his death publicly, and 'fewer than ten' people attended the 'hasty funeral.' A train and derailed and crashed into a stonecutter's yard, shattering Poe's tombstone before it could be installed at his grave. Poe's enemy, Rufus Griswold, wrote him a 'libellous obituary' that damaged his reputation for decades." Poe should have known never to let a Griswold do his obituary -- did he never see the "Vacation" movies? Anyway, now Poe's getting a 200 year old do-over, complete with state-of-the-art replica body.

+ "Doctor Who" has gotten a new logo, just in time for the new season to start in 2010. Check out the video unveiling below and let me know your thoughts on the new look. Personally, I kind of like it, especially the way the TARDIS is represented:

+ USA Today's Pop Candy has an interview with Felicia Day, who is getting more popular by the second. Good for her!

+ And Popular Mechanics has a nifty Q&A with Adam and Jamie from "Mythbusters."

+ And finally, here's an awesome new site called Regretsy that chronicles the worst in handmade arts and crafts. You have to admit, though, the pink leopard goat coat is pretty awesome.

Monday Odds & Ends: zombies, 2012, Darth Vader in a clown car, Legos and Stephen King

2009-10-05T08:33:00.003-05:00

+ So it looks like "Zombieland" ruled the cinematic roost this past weekend...and to mark the occasion, here's a (spoiler-filled) interview with Jesse Eisenberg and Woody Harrelson. I didn't get a chance to see it but I heard good things. Did any of you check it out? What did you think?

+ Hey, here's a five-minute trailer for Roland Emmerich's "2012." I like the part where this blogger talks about how the next trailer should show character development so audiences won't think this is just a piece of CGI candy. Of course it's just a piece of CGI candy! That's the ugly beauty of any good Emmerich movie. He's our generation's Irwin Allen...and God knows, "Poseidon Adventure" could have used way less character development. (I'm looking at you, Ernest Borgnine's cop and his prostitute wife.)

+ This past weekend, Darth Vader was rescued by R2-D2's car. No, seriously.

+ Looking for some scary reading? Let me send you my bank statement! Ha, ha, no...I jest. Let's try that again. Looking for some scary reading? Here's a list of the 10 most frightening Stephen King novel. "Pet Sematary" lands at the top of my list simply for the way cemetary is spelled. Oh well, no one ever said undead animals could spell. P.S. My scariest King novel was "The Stand." Couldn't finish it. What about you?

+ In sad news today, James May's Lego House couldn't be saved and has been dismantled. The one silver lining? The millions of bricks used to build it will go to Legoland where they'll be used in their annual build competitions in support of autism research. Thanks, Emily, for the link.

+ USA Today has a nifty interview with cartoonist Berke Breathed, marking the 30th anniversary of my favorite comic strip of all time, "Bloom County." I still miss you, Bill the Cat!

+ You know how awesome watching TV is? You know what would make it even more awesome? A magic wand that could change your channels. And a clone of Rupert Grint to bring you snacks. That latter bit is still a ways off though.

Friday Odds & Ends: the Ig Nobels, Stargate Universe, Winnie the Pooh and camouflaged artists

2009-10-02T08:14:00.003-05:00

+ The 2009 Ig Nobel prizes were awarded at Harvard last night. Awards are given to scientific research that "first makes people laugh and then makes them think." The photo below shows the Public Health prize winner demonstrating her invention: a bra that can be converted into a pair of gas masks in the event of an emergency. Two Nobel laureates are gamely giving her a hand.

If you live near MIT, by the way, most of the Ig Nobel winners will be giving free lectures on their projects tomorrow (Saturday) during the afternoon.

+ Did you know that a sequel to the classic Winnie the Pooh stories is being released on Monday? It's called Return to the Hundred Acre Woods and it will introduce a new character, Lottie the Otter, who is very fickle about etiquette and loves cricket. Check out the article because it refers to "the trustees of Pooh Properties," which I've decided is something I'd very much like to be. Imagine going to cocktail parties. "What do you do?" "Oh, I'm a trustee of Pooh Properties. Here's my card." And then there's a little Eeyore on your card, giving a baleful look down at your phone number, which is tattooed on his tail. I've given this a lot of thought obviously...

+ Set those DVRs or reserve your space on the couch: SyFy is trotting out "Stargate Universe" tonight at 9 p.m. EST. It's got Robert Carlyle, which is reason enough to watch, but it also appears to have the plot of "Battlestar Galactica" sans robots, which is also reason enough to watch.

+ I saw this on someone's Twitter feed and now I've completely missplaced whose it was. So my apologies in advance for pilfering this uncredited from you! Anyway, check out these amazing photos of this man who paints himself to blend into his surroundings. I'm having trouble posting a sample image so you'll have to trust me on this one: they're pretty damn cool.

+ Den of Geek has an interview with Harold Ramis on "Ghostbusters 3" which, yes, I will watch. I'm still the only person in the world who laughed at the hairless cat joke in "Ghostbusters 2" so I think I'm their prime audience.

+ And finally, Warner Brothers is apparently developing a stage musical of "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory." I officially nominate Carol Channing to play Willy Wonka in the style of Johnny Depp. How meta would that be?

Wednesday Odds & Ends: movies on ice, The Prisoner, crafty Romans and love

2009-09-30T10:57:00.004-05:00

+ Here's a list of "The Best Big-Screen Geek Girls," which immediately starts off by cheating and including Felicia Day's Codex character from "The Guild" because they wish she'd be on the big screen. Now, it's true that Day is Queen of the Geek Girls and ten kinds of awesome, but c'mon, geek girls don't cheat!

+ Speaking of "The Guild," the first and second seasons were released in one DVD package yesterday and are now available in retail stores. Hopefully, the rest of the world will now catch on to this great series.

+ How awesome is this? To celebrate the 20th Stockholm Film Festival, organizers will be showing films on a full-sized movie screen made entirely of ice. The ice is being harvested from ultra-clear ice near the Arctic Circle and the screen was designed by the same folks who built the famous ice hotel. Will they ruin everything by playing a double feature of "Cutting Edge 2" and "The Day After Tomorrow?"

+ An air date has been announced for AMC's remake of "The Prisoner." The six-hour series will air over three nights beginning Nov. 15. This 9-minute-long trailer promises good things:

+ Does falling in love or thinking about love actually make us more creative thinkers? This study published in Scientific American says yes.

+ Archaeologists have unearthed what they believe to be the rotating banquet hall in the ruins of Roman emperor Nero's palace. The banquet hall rotated based on the time of day. Think about that for a moment: the whole room rotated. In the first century A.D. I can't help but wonder, technologically, where our civilization would be if we'd kept on a straight-line from the Roman era and not had those pesky Dark Ages where we forgot how to make things like, you know, windows and indoor plumbing.

Tuesday Odds & Ends: Primeval, Harry Potter, sweat-shop spiders and an electric unicycle

2009-09-29T10:35:00.006-05:00

+ ITV has announced that "Primeval" will be back for two new seasons...mere months after announcing it was canceled. That's fine though -- at least there'll be more dinosaurs on TV!

+ The new Harry Potter theme park scheduled to open next year looks even cooler than I imagined! Check out these renderings of "The Wizarding World of Harry Potter" attraction, being built right now in Orlando, Florida. Below is an image of Hogwarts. Now if they can just make it so I can play Quidditch, I'll be happy as can be. Thanks to Park Bench reader Anne for the link!

+ Have you seen this gorgeous rug woven from spider silk? It took four years and more than 1 million spiders and probably a lot of spider wranglers to create it. Check it out below:

+ If you want some fun lunchtime entertainment, read these submissions to Topless Robot's "Most Shameful Nerd Argument" contest. Trust me, whatever shameful nerd thing you've ever done, reading these will immediately make you feel better about yourself. My personal favorite is the story about the guys who spent four months debating which D12 die was better to use in their D&D game -- the one with the rhombus faces or the pentagon faces -- right down to figuring out the mathematical equations for questions of friction and surface use. I love it.

+ And finally, have you ever wanted to ride a unicycle but couldn't be bothered to pedal? Ok, just me then? Well, check out the enicycle which is like a cross between a Segway and a unicycle, as Park Bench reader Daven described it. The awesome new gadget won the gold medal at the 36th International Exhibition of Inventions in Geneva. I want one!

Nerd Man of the Month: J.J. Abrams

2009-09-28T12:07:00.004-05:00

I just had five brilliant ideas in the time it took you to sneeze.

I had an epiphany the other night and it's name was J.J. Abrams. I realized, while catching up on the last episodes of "Fringe"'s first season, that so much of the entertainment that has truly brought me geek joy over the last few years has somehow involved Abrams. This past year alone, we had the introduction of "Fringe," an awesome year of "Lost" and the best action/sci-fi film in my recent memory, the new "Star Trek" -- all of which were envisioned at least in part by this one-man writing/producing/directing juggernaut. And I kinda love him for it.

Although I never watched "Felicity," which seems so oddly out of step with the bulk of Abrams' oeuvre at this point, I was a fan of "Alias" from day one. One of Abrams' earliest successes, the pulse-pounding spy series starring a wig-wearing, ass-kicking Jennifer Garner showcased Abrams' ongoing ability to effectively add surreal elements into already fantastic premises. The show was incredible, leaving its viewers breathless at the end of every hour. And it was unlike anything else on TV.

Which sounds a lot like "Lost," a truly groundbreaking series that, in my humble opinion, will one day rank as one of the best TV shows of all time. With its insanely intricate plot, its maze of mysteries and the page-turning suspense that keeps viewers hooked -- whether they want to be or not -- the series is nerd nirvana.

As if "Lost" didn't give us enough to think about every week, we now have "Fringe," another freaky brain teaser that's quickly evolving into a "don't miss" cult series. Has there ever been a character as wonderfully nutty and dark as mad scientist Walter Bishop? And come on, there's a cow on the show! And Leonard Nimoy! An actual cow and an actual Leonard Nimoy! Brilliant.

Perhaps best of all, Abrams is the man responsible for transforming the "Star Trek" movies from the joke they had become into truly one of the best sci-fi flicks in recent memory. I will admit, I was afraid of what the "Star Trek" reboot would bring but five minutes into the new film, I knew everything would be alright -- in fact, even better than alright. Abrams showed a firm understanding of what makes "Star Trek" great, respecting the cult classic's origins while lifting it up, dusting it off and giving it new life. It was the best surprise of the summer.

As a screenwriter, Abrams also gave the world "Armageddon" which, in its campy awesomeness and rousing montages, has made 90 percent of the male population cry at least once. And yeah, I kinda like it too -- Bruce Willis saves the world in a completely incomprehensible and ridiculous way while Ben Affleck cavorts with animal crackers and Liv Tyler! No one can resist that.

Abrams also gave us one of my favorite sleepy thrillers: the underappreciated "Joy Ride" about two brothers played by Steve Zahn and Paul Walker who get chased cross-country by a crazed truck driver. Yeah, sounds lame but you won't want to get within 100 yards of a CB radio after watching it.

And although some may mutter angrily over its shortcomings, you gotta admit that "Cloverfield" was everything that lame-ass "Godzilla" remake of the 1990s should have been and wasn't. Rowr!

For all the joy he's given the nerd world over the years, for the miracle of resurrection he performed on "Star Trek," for the fact that he composes music and for the very simple reason that he can rock a pair of dark-framed eyeglasses as well as anyone, The Park Bench is pleased to name J.J. Abrams as its September Nerd Man of the Month.

Monday Odds & Ends: yetis, digitized memories, four-winged dinos and Twilight Zone

2009-09-28T08:24:00.000-05:00

+ Sam Raimi is producing a film called "Refuge" by new British director Corin Hardy about a remote town terrorized by a Yeti. Will Yetis become the new vampires? They probably use equal amounts of product in their hair so I'm voting yes.

+ Television Without Pity has compiled their list of the best episodes ever of Joss Whedon's various TV series. Personally, I think about half of their choices are off the mark. What do you think?

+ Well, here's something freaky: a Microsoft researcher is attempting to digitize his entire memory as he goes through life, downloading and saving as many impressions, sights, sounds and responses as he can. Why? Because he can.

+ Have you seen this impressive four-winged dinosaur, which was unearthed in China and recently reported on at the Society of Vertebrate Paleontology annual meeting, which probably includes way more drinking than any of us imagine.

+ ABC's "V" is going to air in two parts, with the first four episodes shown in November and then picking up with the final nine in March after the Olympics.

+ Want to experience all 156 episodes of "The Twilight Zone" in under 10 minutes? Now you can, although I can't imagine why you'd want to. Seems like it might ruin the suspenseful bits just a smidge. But, hey, check it out:

"Paranormal Activity" goes to 11 on the terror dial

2009-09-26T01:37:00.008-05:00

Just returned from Ann Arbor and the midnight showing of "Paranormal Activity." It was a packed house and it was a good thing we got in line an hour and a half early. Spent the time chatting with some very nice college students (and fellow nerds) in front of us -- shockingly, one member of their party doesn't like Nathan Fillion or Neil Patrick Harris. We agreed to disagree.

Anyway, here's my three word review of "Paranormal Activity." You know how everyone's been saying it's scary. Guess what?

It's fucking scary!

That's why I'm up at 2:40 in the morning writing this -- there's no way I'm going to sleep after seeing that damn thing. And when I say "damn thing," I mean really well-crafted movie that made the most out of a very small budget and some very modest ambitions. It's an old-fashioned ghost story told with no gore and no monsters yet it prays exceptionally well upon some very basic and very powerful fears.

The basic story centers on a young couple who begin to experience odd happenings in their house and decide to set up a video camera at night to see what's going on. And then, well, things get bad. The scares start off slow but 20 minutes into it, you're already starting to freak out Pavlov-style when the lights go out and the night vision comes on.

The film moves quickly and there's very little release in the tension. It simply builds and builds (with some pretty funny moments early on) until you just can't take it anymore. As with any scary story, there are a few moments of "just turn on the goddamn lights" but for the most part, there aren't any of those usual stretches of credibility that doom so many suspense stories. This is simply a smart, genuinely scary movie.

I've mentioned before in this blog how much I don't like being frightened and true to form, I wussed out completely by the end, covering my eyes for the last few minutes and watching only half the screen -- the non-scary half of the screen. While I sort of regret not actually seeing the final pay off (okay, not really), I did hear it, and this movie uses audio so well I still got chills just from the sounds of what was happening. And I got to see my husband completely freak out and just about crawl under his seat, which was kind of awesome given this is the same man who watches horror movies the way I watch "Love, Actually" when I'm PMS-y, which is to say, a lot. And he wasn't the only one freaking out -- half the theater screamed including the burly frat guys behind us who lofted cries of "oh no" and "holy shit" into the ether. People may have wet themselves. I didn't stick around to ask.

In short, if you like to be scared, go see this movie. My husband the expert says it's the scariest movie he's ever seen. As for me, it's the scariest movie I've ever heard while covering my eyes and wishing it was over. I mean that in the best possible way.

It's nearly 3 a.m. Time for this scaredy-pants to look at pictures of fluffy kittens and puppies until sunrise.

A little afternoon cinema

2009-09-24T13:15:00.001-05:00

I Tweeted about this earlier in the month, but I feel the need for a little sunshine in my day so here it is again, in all its glory: a very sweet, very charming short film starring David Tennant called "The Traffic Warden." It has close to zero dialogue and runs about 10 minutes long. Enjoy!

(Found via www.david-tennant.com)

Thursday Odds & Ends: LIFE Magazine, Wallace and Gromit, depressed babies, Wheaton and the Big Bang Theory

2009-09-24T08:08:00.002-05:00

+ This is great news: Google Books announced yesterday that they have digitized and made available to the reading public all 1,860 issues of LIFE Magazine from 1936 to 1972. I haven't had a chance to delve into it yet, but what a treasure trove of wonderful images and stories! I can't wait.

+ Another goodie for you British people: to celebrate the 20th anniversary of Wallace and Gromit, Aardman Animations is holding a contest to win tickets to see "A Grand Day Out" at the London Film Festival and attend a special Q&A session with creator Nick Park. This contest makes three reasons why I am jealous of you people, following closely on the heels of your temperate climate and lovely seaside vistas. Oh, and those delicious fishcakes I had in the Kyle of Lochalsh where -- true story -- a large sea bird dropped half a lobster on my head as I stood outside a phone booth.

+ How many of you were born in the winter months? Raise your hands. Okay, I was born in the winter and I have bad news for all of us: apparently, we're screwed. Scientists have actual data suggesting that winter babies are less successful and more sickly than their high-falutin' summer-born brothers and sisters. I always thought my failures were my own doing but now I can blame it on my lack of Vitamin D. Woo!!

+ Wil Wheaton has a great blog post up about his first day on the set of "The Big Bang Theory," in which he's guest starring. It's a great insight into how the show works and also a wonderful reminder that actors can be huge fan boys, too.

+ In the mood for a little "Buffy" nostalgia? Then check out Alyson Hannigan's photo from Sunday's Emmys.

+ Here's a cool in-depth look at "Pirate Radio," the upcoming Richard Curtis film chronicling the pirate radio transmissions that took place off the waters of the UK in the 1960s, feeding rock and roll junkies the music denied them by the BBC. I'm looking forward to this flick because, "Four Weddings and a Funeral" be damned, I really enjoy Richard Curtis' work.

+ And finally, I haven't forgotten the Nerd Man for this month. I'm just way behind, so look for me to sneak this month's winner in under the wire on Monday.

Five reasons to love ABC's "Castle"

2009-09-23T09:32:00.006-05:00

I'm full-on smitten with this kooky little show about a successful mystery novelist and his forays into crime fighting. Here's why you should be too:

Reason #1: Nathan Fillion
Nathan Fillion's charm is like fly paper or the Death Star tractor beam: once you get caught in its grasp, there is simply no escape. Everyone's favorite Canadian (sorry, Lorne Greene) shines as Rick Castle, making what could be an arrogant character into someone whose confidence is mixed with just the right amount of vulnerability and kindness to keep him lovable and interesting. Fillion's great with co-star Stana Katic, who plays police detective Kate Beckett, but he's even better in the scenes that focus on Castle's family, especially his sweet, smart teenage daughter, who provides the perfect calm foil to Castle's mania. The two are so good together, I would watch the show just for their interactions. But really, Fillion's just great, period.

The best father-daughter duo on television.

Reason #2: The show keeps getting better.
While I've enjoyed "Castle" since its debut, the early going for this show was pretty rocky and sometimes made my want to hide my brain under the couch cushions. The mysteries, which are kind of important for a detective show, were beyond simplistic, forcing the characters to look like idiots in order to draw the simplistic mysteries out. Whole teams of chubby Clydesdales could have trotted through those plot holes. But then something miraculous happened toward the end of season 1: plots started to make sense. There was actual tension and suspense. I kept checking the channel guide to make sure I was watching the right show. And not only did the plots start making more sense, all of the character interactions became more natural, the action propelled the show and holy cow, by season's end, "Castle" was a real, live detective show. Judging by the first episode of the new season, the writing has gotten even stronger. Kudos to the writers and producers for not sliding by with mediocre but actually striving for good.

Reason #3: It's really funny.
And not unintentionally funny like when David Caruso squints on "CSI: Miami." Nope, "Castle" reminds me of what "The X-Files" used to do so well: toss out unexpectedly hilarious lines from left field, like Castle's whole riff on a film adaptation of the video game "Asteroids" and how he thinks it'll be okay because they've gotten Ryan Reynolds to play the little green triangle and "he's really good." Or the weird situational comedy that Fillion plays so well:

Reason #4: The supporting cast is actually pretty awesome.
In particular, Jon Huertas as Detective Esposito and Seamus Dever as Detective Ryan. They're like they're own little Greek chorus, just chiming in with funny asides or wry commentary as Castle and Beckett argue or some other absurdity takes place. The show wouldn't be the same without them.

Reason #5: The show doesn't take itself too seriously.
"Castle" is never going to be "Mad Men" or "The Sopranos" or some other pinnacle of artistic achievement, and that's a good thing. We all need a balanced TV diet of weighty stuff like "The Wire" and fun fluffy stuff like "Castle." The show is just a goofy amalgam of everything from "Moonlighting" to "Murder, She Wrote," and it knows it. It's only aim is make you forget your troubles for an hour each week and enjoy a bit of mystery, romance and humor...and Nathan Fillion looking good in suits. What more could you ask for on a Monday night?

Wednesday Odds & Ends: Facebook, Iron Man 2, New Moon, Betty White and Sweet Valley High

2009-09-23T09:10:00.004-05:00

+ Via Entertainment Weekly, here are a slew of new behind-the-scenes photos from "New Moon." Pretty boy alert is at threat level orange (and glittery) with this one.

+ I think I've mentioned the Aaron Sorkin-scripted Facebook movie before, which is not about sheep tossing and errant pokes but rather about the founding of the massive social networking site. Well, now David Fincher has officially been signed to direct the film, which will star Jesse Eisenberg as founder Mark Zuckerberg and Justin Timberlake as the Napster co-founder who became Facebook's first president. I would totally elect Justin Timberlake to be my president. I don't know what that means, but it's true.

+ If you can handle watching Entertainment Tonight without having a seizure from all the fast cuts and strobing lights, then tune in tomorrow night for a behind-the-scenes preview of "Iron Man 2." And here's a preview of the preview:

+ This Saturday is the fifth annual Museum Day and National Public Lands Day, which means that loads of museums (more than 1,200 in fact) and zoos across the country are offering free admission and special events as are many public parks. So don't forget to check out your favorite spot for special deals.

+ Speaking of national treasures, my Betty White mania just got some happy news: she'll be guest starring on "30 Rock" this fall. In this same blurb, Tina Fey makes a joke about getting Justin Timberlake to guest star. I don't think she should tease me like this. Just make it happen, woman!

+ Because he's bored, J.J. Abrams has decided to produce a 30-minute comedy for FOX set in a hospital. As long as it doesn't star Zach Braff, I'm fine with it. And yes, I'm sure my approval means a lot to him.

+ And here's something to make the universe's head explode: Diablo Cody has been signed to adapt the "Sweet Valley High" books, of which more than 150 titles were published between 1983 and 2003. Most were written by a lonely robot named Margaret Buttercup Hoofenhoffen -- true story!

Tuesday Odds & Ends: Hodgman, The A-Team, MIT, Terry Pratchett and a way cool Venn diagram

2009-09-22T10:32:00.004-05:00

+ Remember how awesome Sharlto Copley was as Wikus Van De Merwe in "District 9?" Well, I suggest you savor that memory because his next big role is going to be as Captain "Howling Mad" Murdock in the upcoming big screen version of "The A-Team." No, I'm serious. He'll be co-starring with Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Biel. I hated "The A-Team" as a kid so this whole announcement just makes me sad.

+ Did you enjoy John Hodgman's fun "facts" about the various winners at Sunday night's Emmy Awards? New York Magazine has compiled a few of their favorites.

+ And speaking of facts, how many of us wanted to attend MIT but were hindered by either poor SAT math scores (me!) or the fact that it costs approximately $17 million in tuition and boarding to attend (me!)? Well, fret no longer -- MIT is now offering all 1900 of its courses online for free including syllabi, reading materials, exams and more. Thanks to Daven for the link!

+ New York Magazine has decreed "The Big Bang Theory"'s Jim Parsons to be TV's leading nerd and have a short, interesting article on him to celebrate.

+ Want to add a new computer to your collection? How about a really old one? You might be in luck if you can pony up the bucks. Gene Roddenberry's Macintosh 128 -- with a serial number of 001 -- is up for auction. In related news, Popular Science has their list of "10 Things We Wish Were On Gene Roddenberry's Hard Drive." Thanks to Andi for the links!

+ Are you a fan of legendary fantasy novelist Terry Pratchett? Do you live in London or have access to your own airplane or ocean liner? Then you might want to check out the National Theatre's current production of "Nation," adapted from the Pratchett novel of the same name. Thank you, Kate, for the tip!

+ And in other news, The A.V. Club has an in-depth and intriguing interview with director Jane Campion about her new film "Bright Star" based on the last three years of poet John Keats' life.

+ And finally, thanks to Park Bench reader Sara who sent this in, we've got a cool Venn diagram to help us determine once and for all if we're nerds, geeks or dorks. I knew science would come through for us in the end. :)

Surviving "War and Peace"

2009-09-21T12:45:00.005-05:00

You will be mine!

I'm finally doing it. After decades of training that mostly involved learning big words and finding the right prescription for my glasses, I am ready to embark on my greatest literary mission to date: I am reading "War and Peace." And much the way a marathon runner goes on and on and on about every quarter mile accomplishment until you want to beat them to death with their own Nikes, I intend to share with you my progress on taming this 1386 page beast.

I picked up the book late last week and am 130 pages into it so far, which by my faulty mathematical estimation means I've completed less than 10 percent. To date, I have a tenuous but intact grasp of what's going on: basically, there seem to be a lot of Russian people in drawing rooms making small talk and arguing with each other about society and status while a few hundred miles away, a small man named Bonaparte is whistling a jaunty tune and amassing large portions of European real estate.

I already can tell that my biggest struggle with this bad boy is going to be keeping all the characters straight. Why? Because every frickin' character has approximately 718 different names. If I had a time machine, I would go back right now and tell Tolstoy to cut it out and just pick one, dammit. It doesn't have to be a great name, just a memorable one: Fluffy, Roscoe, Floyd Netherbottom -- I don't care, just pull one from a hat, pin it to a character and be done with it. It's hard enough to read 1386 pages without also having to create a flow chart listing every single character and what they may or may not be called at different points in the narrative -- all because the guy with the beard couldn't make a decision. And yes, I'm going to make the joke: it's like Brett Favre wrote this thing. (I know it's just a Russian literature thing, but right now, I'm in the mood to blame someone and it might as well be Tolstoy.)

Now, I feel like I have a 50-50 chance of surviving the name issue because I trained pretty hard a few years back with "Anna Karenina" and it one only made me cry once. On the other hand, the names did me in on "The Brothers Karamazov" and I've been known to give even short Chekhov stories the finger because I couldn't keep the characters straight. So really, I should probably only give myself a 33 percent chance.

As a back-up plan, though, I've decided to give myself a free pass on total coherency. If I get a few counts or princes mixed up and accidentally turn them into the same person for a few hundred pages, I'm going to tell myself it's okay. Who hasn't gotten a few counts and princes mixed up in their day, right? Exactly.

In my three days of reading so far, I've also learned I'll have to physically get into better shape simply to hold the book. I like to read while lying down, which means I need strong wrists to hold a book this size vertical. There was a Roosevelt biography that broke me a while back for this very reason. That was a hardcover. I refuse to be done in with a paperback, albeit a paperback that could serve as a wheel block for a semi. Perhaps since this is my literary equivalent of scaling Mt. Everest, I could hire a sherpa to prop the thing up? Or would that be weird?

Please don't mind my apparent crabbiness, though, because the truth is, I'm enjoying the book immensely. "Anna Karenina" is one of my all-time favorite novels and I'm looking forwad to immersing myself in this one as well. I'm also looking forward to having the words "I finished War and Peace, bitches" tattooed on my forehead and running through every library and book club I can find -- you know, the way classy people do.

Only nine-tenths left to go!

Monday Odds & Ends: Dr. Horrible, the Emmys, glaciers, Fringe and Halo

2009-09-21T10:13:00.006-05:00

+ First off, there is nothing more important this morning than getting to see the awesome "Dr. Horrible" bit from last night's Emmy Awards again. So here it is...

I love Nathan waving at the flashing battery.

+ As for the rest of the Emmy Awards show, well, I didn't see all of it but I was mightily pleased that Kristin Chenoweth won for "Pushing Daisies" and Michael Emerson won for "Lost." I'm still puzzled over Jon Cryer winning an award for "Two and a Half Men." I assume that was some sort of mistake and it will be rectified with Neil Patrick Harris being given TWO awards and several hugs next year to make up for it. Oh, and it was nice to see Charles Dickens kicking ass with "Little Dorrit."

+ Cinema Blend has an interview with Joshua Jackson on all sorts of "Fringe" topics...making me wish I'd caught up with the end of season one before reading it. Oh well.

+ I linked to this on Twitter over the weekend, but just in case you missed it, I thought it was funny enough to include here: a man in the UK feels he was discriminated against at his local Tesco because they asked him to remove his Jedi hood while in the store. The man founded the International Church of Jediism last year, and felt he was being ridiculed when asked to take down the hood on his cloak. That's all well and good, but what makes this story art is the statement from Tesco, reprinted below:

"Jedi are very welcome to shop in our stores although we would ask them to remove their hoods. Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda and Luke Skywalker all went hoodless without going to the Dark Side. If Jedi walk around our stores with their hoods on, they'll miss lots of special offers."

Actually, the Jedi's final statement is pretty good too:

"I'll advise worshippers to boycott Tesco if it happens again. They will feel the Force." Of four people not buying Lilt.

+ For your daily dose of prettiness, check out these gorgeous photos of glaciers at Wired, including this one of Bear Glacier in Alaska.

+ And finally, courtesy of Park Bench reader TheWonderingSwordsman, here's a cool trailer from the new Halo 3: ODST game, which hits stores tomorrow. It features the voices of Nathan Fillion and Adam Baldwin, which is reason enough to buy it right there.

ETA: I can't believe I almost forgot this! You still have 11 more hours to bid on a dinner for two with sci-fi author and legend Harlan Ellison and his wife at their home (which probably means you'll have to help with the dishes afterward). It's part of the Dream for Jeanne Benefit Auction. Thanks to Park Bench reader Dean for the link!

Guest blog post: A look at the "True Blood" finale

2009-09-18T11:13:00.004-05:00

You know what this blog is sadly lacking? Talk of "True Blood." It's a giant, gaping gap in the geek coverage. Why? Because yours truly has no coin for premium cable so I miss out on all the good stuff. Happily, though, The Park Bench has got friends...and those friends write great stuff about "True Blood." Yup, this afternoon, Ian of TV Lowdown, has dual-blogged for his site and The Park Bench, offering up a scintillating recap and review of the much talked-about "True Blood" finale, which aired this past Sunday. So if you haven't seen it...spoilers ahoy! And if you have seen it, please enjoy and feel free to comment with your thoughts on the show.

And so another season of True Blood draws to a close amidst yet more Yahtzee, people being gored by bulls, murdered truckers and the ritual licking of ostrich eggs. Just another day in Bon Temps.

Previously on True Blood… Jessica snacked on Zombie-Maxine who later told Hoyt the truth about his suicidal father, Sam tried to promote interspecies solidarity by asking Eric for help with Maryann, Eric flew, Sookie and Bill worked their mojo to de-zombify Tara who promptly ran off to save Eggs, Sookie worked yet further mojo on Maryann, Lafayette inadvertently killed Carl and became Maryann’s latest cabana boy, Bill get the lowdown on how to deal with Maenads from Sophie-Anne, and… well, a whole lot more happened. This “Previously” section is two minutes long, which goes some way to showing how awesomely layered this show has become.

Skipping ahead to the start of the episode and we find Sookie exercising her lungs once more with a good old-fashioned horror movie scream as she realises Lafayette isn’t going to be backing her up any time soon. He gives the order for the giant egg to be delivered to Maryann before making Sookie change into a white dress and hauling her downstairs into the Bridal Suite o’ The Damned where Maryann, apparently wearing Gran’s wedding dress, is being attended to by her bridesmaids. Maryann gleefully declares that Sookie will be her maid of honour, and we cut to the opening titles whilst wondering; what wedding gift do you give to the immortal demon-god-summoning sociopath who has it all?

Read the rest of the post here...

Friday Odds & Ends: Nathan, The Cabin in the Woods, Dollhouse, Flash Forward and The Plan

2009-09-18T09:33:00.005-05:00

I'm back from my sojourn in the wilds of upper Michigan where I saw giant hawks and Mike Rowe from Discovery's "Dirty Jobs." Seriously, Mike Rowe! My husband and I were sitting in a bar in the middle of nowhere and all of a sudden Mike Rowe walks by...and minutes later, the bar was crowded with townies getting photos and we never got to meet him. But hey, we saw Mike Rowe ten feet away from us...and giant hawks who were a lot more than ten feet away. Also, I did a lot of biking and my calves hurt but that's neither here nor there. Anyway, I missed you all and hope you've had a good week. Now on with the news...

+ USA Today's Pop Candy column is accepting questions for a certain Mr. Nathan Fillion until 4 p.m. EST today so if you've ever wanted to ask Nathan if he enjoys getting caught in the rain and taking long walks on the beach, now's your chance!

+ Cinema Blend has an interesting script review of Joss Whedon's upcoming horror film "The Cabin In The Woods." The reviewer says its non-spoilery and I would agree but there's kind of a big plot point that gets explained that I sort of wish I didn't know. So if you want to go into this flick as pure as the driven snow, then perhaps it's best to skip it. Otherwise, go for it!

+ And speaking of the wonderful world of Whedon, the Joss-man himself revealed nine secrets about the upcoming season of "Dollhouse" which starts a week from tonight on FOX.

+ I know you're probably counting the days until that new "Tron: Legacy" movie opens but it looks like we're all going to have to wait a while longer. It'll be opening in both IMAX and on regular dowdy old-fashioned screens on Dec. 17, 2010.

+ Want to watch the first 18 minutes of ABC's new series, "Flash Forward?" Sure you do! It has John Cho and Joseph Fiennes...and some sort of intriguing plot but mostly it has John Cho and Joseph Fiennes.

+ This bit of news came out while I was gone but it bears repeating: SyFy will not be airing the "Battlestar Galactica" prequel film, "The Plan," as scheduled this fall. Instead, it will still release the DVD on Oct. 27 and then will televise it sometime in 2010. Weenies.

+ Have you ever wanted to smell like a wet, slimy fictional horror creature born from the mind of H.P. Lovecraft? Well, now you can! For the low, low price of $15 (for a sample) and $25 for 10 ml, you can buy Eau de Cthulhu perfume from the good people of Black Phoenix Alchemy Labs. Sometimes the world is a pretty cool place, isn't it?

+ And most importantly, did anyone else watch the "Bones" premiere last night? What did you think? I liked it. I don't think it made up for the craptacularness of the finale, but I enjoyed it. How could I not? It had Cyndi Lauper! And how was "Fringe?" I had to DVR it since I'm still catching up on the end of last season, but was it good?

A temporary disconnect...

2009-09-14T09:08:00.000-05:00

Hey cats and kittens, I'll be without the internet for a few days but will be back up and running on Friday morning, all giddy and glassy-eyed at the start of the new TV season. Until then, have fun and be sure to e-mail me if you hear any great nerdy news. In the immortal words of somebody or other, TTFN!

Thursday Odds & Ends: Michael Hogan, Of Mice and Men, awesome names and Queen Victoria's underpants

2009-09-10T08:42:00.005-05:00

+ Wondering what to watch when the new fall TV season kicks off next week? Sci-Fi Wire has corralled trailers for all the new and returning sci-fi shows and collected them in one handy place! Thanks, Sci-Fi Wire. I'll hold off on making fun of SyFy all day today in gratitude.

+ Get your DVRs primed and ready. Next Tuesday, Michael Hogan guest stars as Myka's dad on "Warehouse 13." Here's a clip, showcasing the kind of the awesome eyeball acting we loved on "Battlestar" but this time with BOTH eyes! Crazy!

+ Here's one of the many reasons I don't ever want to be queen -- someday, someone's going to unpack your old underpants and let everyone take pictures of them. A pair of Queen Victoria's bloomers as well as a matching chemise have been added to the Kensington Palace Royal Ceremonial Dress Collection, following a quick spin out of the box for photographers as evidenced below:

+ Speaking of underpants, David Tennant will be starring in BBC Radio 4's upcoming dramatization of "Of Mice and Men," playing George. It's scheduled to air sometime early next year.

+ The short list for the Man Booker Prize for Fiction was announced on Tuesday. The six nominees include JM Coetzee, A.S. Byatt who seems to get nominated for this thing every 15 minutes or so, Adam Foulds, Sarah Waters, Simon Mawer and the odds-makers' favorite Hilary Mantel for her book "Wolf Hall," an historical novel about Thomas Cromwell. The winner will be announced on October 6.

+ Check out this Wired article on a blog that "remixes" famous comic book covers. Pretty!

+ And finally, via PopCandy, a Norwegian bus driver has changed his name to Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankova. Julius, the only non-pop culture reference in there, is apparently in honor of a local monkey...which, let's face it, makes it art.

Tuesday Odds & Ends: Akira, Neil Gaiman, Blackadder meets Doctor Who, and giant woolly rats

2009-09-08T11:33:00.006-05:00

Hope you all had a wonderful long weekend! Sorry for my blogging absence on Friday. Work's been a bit hectic. Hopefully my plans for self-cloning will ease that a bit. Also, I intend to give myself the ability to fly and eat all the donuts I want without heartburn. Aim high, right?

+ You know how there's been talk off and on about a possible remake of "Akira?" No, I didn't know either. Well, apparently there's been talk off and on about a possible remake of "Akira" and now it looks like Leonardo DiCaprio's production company has hired actual writers for the script. The best news? Those writers are Mark Fergus and Hawk Ostby (porn name?) who penned "Iron Man" and "Children of Men" which means they'll probably find a way to put some variation on the word "man" in the "Akira" title.

+ There are plenty of reasons to love Neil Gaiman -- and maybe be a little frightened of him, which is kind of what I'm feeling after seeing "Coraline" for the first time this past weekend -- but perhaps there is no greater reason than the general awesomeness of his home library. For one thing, it has A LOT of books...and apparently, an award from the disembodied head of Jim Nabors (see plaque on left):

And second, it is being guarded by the proud form of half a jackalope, which is, of course, the finest mythical creature in all of America. (Yeah, yetis, I mean it.)

+ Rumor has it that Richard Curtis, creator of "Blackadder" and every British romantic comedy in the last 15 years that I'm not supposed to like but secretly own a DVD copy of anyway, might be writing a script for the new season of "Doctor Who." Curtis is quoted as telling "The Sun" that "there will be a monster. And a famous historical figure will battle the monster." Don't know how much of this I believe, given that jackelope collector Neil Gaiman was also rumored to be writing "Who" scripts a couple years back.

+ Thanks to Park Bench reader Daven for these cool links to some truly groundbreaking new energy technologies. You have to check out these organic light-emitting diodes which are highly flexible and give off virtually no heat...and are pretty damn awesome to look at. Even more fancy and fine? Paper-thin batteries.

+ And finally, did you hear about the 40 new species of animal discovered by researchers from the United States, UK and Papua New Guinea? After climbing into the kilometer-deep crater of Mount Bosavi, the scientists discovered a vibrant jungle habitat containing, among other mind-blowing creatures, fanged frogs, grunting fish and giant woolly rats.

Thursday Kibbles and Bits: bastardized Bronte, SyFy, chupacabras and an LOLcat moratorium

2009-09-03T11:10:00.007-05:00

+ Dear Pop Culture World, please stop punching me in the gut for maybe 10 seconds or so. I lose my mind when I see stuff like this:

Yes, that's right -- it's a newly designed cover for Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights, made to look like the cover of a Twilight novel! With a badge that reads, "Bella and Edward's favorite book." I'll just let that sink in for a moment or two. *whistles* Yes! Exactly! It's a crime against literature, one that nearly resulted in my head shooting off my body when I saw it on Topless Robot this morning. HarperCollins, you sadden me...except for those few seconds when I gleefully imagined the disappointment felt by people who will read this book all the way through only to find there are exactly zero vampires living out there on the moors. Haha, suckers!

+ In other risible news, the SyFy Channel is apparently contemplating adding a cooking show and yes, a talk show, to their lineup. Personally, I'm hoping their foray into reality television produces a "Survivor"-like effort featuring the stars of their worst Saturday night movies fighting costumed Yetis and Chupacabras. Fingers crossed...

+ Speaking of the always popular "goat sucker," some yoo-hoo's shared yet more video of an oversized, big-toothed, ugly dog claiming it's a chupacabra. "The X-Files" totally ruined this urban legend for me -- the real thing will never be as cool as the one they stitched together.

+ In less disturbing news, Cinema Blend has a nifty fall movie preview. I'm really looking forward to Soderbergh's "The Informant!" (because it's a Matt Damon movie with an exclamation point in the title), "Where the Wild Things Are" (because the trailers look amazing), "Amelia" (because, let's face it, she was pretty cool and also there's Christopher Eccleston), "The Men Who Stare at Goats" (Clooney as faux Jedi!), "2012" (aircraft carrier runs over White House - who thinks this stuff up?), "Sherlock Holmes" (shirtless Robert Downey Jr.) and "Alvin and the Chipmunks 2: The Squakquel" (just kidding...sort of...I really like animated rodents. It's a thing.). What movies are you looking forward to the most?

+ And finally, I found out about this earlier and wanted to warn you ahead of time: September 9 has been declared "A Day Without Cats" by Urlesque.com. More specifically, a day without pictures and videos of cats being cute. I'll let their video explain it:

Sadly, I have seen every one of those images before and knew exactly where the cats should be. Sigh. I really need a job. Anyway, to mitigate the pain of a day without cats, Urlesque is offering to blog on a different animal of their readers' choice. I voted for the rodents, but I'm thinking the goats might be good too. Cast your ballot today!

Wednesday Odds & Ends: Cowboys & Aliens, Astro Boy, The Wizard of Oz and a sad '90s icon forced to sing Bon Jovi

2009-09-02T09:42:00.005-05:00

Wow, I'm beat this morning. Did anyone else stay up all night to read the new Lorrie Moore novel? Okay, just me? Well, you should go buy it now and stay up tonight because it's excellent. But enough about me, here's the newsy stuff:

+ Well, here's a dream team if ever there was one: the makers of "Iron Man" and the recent "Star Trek" reboot (and yes, "Lost") are possibly joining forces to create a film version of the graphic novel "Cowboys & Aliens." Yeppers, that means Jon Favreau and Robert Downey Jr. will meld their awesomeness with that of Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman and Damen Lindelof to give us two great tastes that taste great together. (I'm really hungry right now -- sorry.)

+ Here's a preview of "Astro Boy," which to me -- as someone who's never seen the original -- looks like a cross between "Caprica" and "The Iron Giant" but with squeakier voices and rounder heads. I could be wrong in that assessment.

+ This year marks the 70th anniversary of a lot of great movies including "Gone with the Wind" but perhaps none is as groundbreaking and generally fabulous as "The Wizard of Oz" which will be hitting the big screen once again in celebration. On Sept. 23, you can check out this masterpiece in high definition, which means the munchkins will look even freakier than you remembered. Check out the film's official site to see where the movie's playing near you -- beware though, turn the sound down if you're at the office because the site's really, really loud.

+ Speaking of great movies, it's also the 107th anniversary of the world's first science fiction film, the Melies brothers "A Trip to the Moon."

+ And finally, I was kind of creeped out by this video this morning. It shows clips from "Guitar Hero 5" in which they actually use the Kurt Cobain avatar to sing on non-Nirvana songs, meaning I now have a vision of a Cobain singing Bon Jovi, which if you were even mildly a fan of Nirvana is, well, bad and kind of insulting and perhaps disrespectful of the dead. Speaking of which, is it just me or does the Cobain avatar look a little zombie-ish? If so, I hope that means he'll be returning from the dead to kick somebody's ass over this. If you'd like to read a better diatribe, check out Topless Robot's rant on this very subject -- it's where I pilfered the video from.

Tuesday Odds & Ends: The Guild, Legos, Fringe, Marvel and unforgiveable accents

2009-09-01T09:39:00.006-05:00

+ You know "The Guild" has made it when it's featured in "The Wall Street Journal." It's a pretty interesting article on how Felicia Day cultivated it as an independent project. Also, episode one of the new season is now embeddable, which means it's below. Enjoy!

&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://video.msn.com/?mkt=en-us&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;brand=msn video&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;playlist=videoByUuids:uuids:6f31eb66-4360-439a-ad62-f2bdf28f550e&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;showPlaylist=true&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;from=IV2_en-us_v11HP&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;fg=gtlv2" target="_new" title="Season 3 - Episode 1: Expansion Time"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Video: Season 3 - Episode 1: Expansion Time&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;

+ Remember a while back I mentioned that James May was building an actual house built out of Legos? Well, he did, using more than 816 million Lego blocks. Here's what it looks like, mid-build:

+ This Thursday night, you'll be able to Twitter along with the "Fringe" cast during a rebroadcast of last year's "The Road Not Taken" episode. You'll be able to post your own comments as well. I encourage you to ask Joshua Jackson if he's wearing pants...celebrities like that plus, it's just a good thing to know.

+ Cinemablend tries to quell the massive freak-out storm over Disney's acquisition of Marvel. Here, they share their five reasons not to lose sleep over the deal. But then you've got The Hollywood Reporter which is pretty much all about the big changes and why, yeah, you might want to freak out just a little bit.

+ I really enjoyed this list of the Empire Magazine's "Worst British Accents Ever." It comes with helpful video to prove the dialectical sins. Poor Kevin Costner, he'll never live down that "Robin Hood" fiasco...

+ And finally, if you're like me and find yourself trolling the Internet constantly for "Doctor Who" news, may I recommend this site which seems to include every up-to-the-minute spoiler you'd ever want? It's got me really looking forward to the new season.

Monday Odds & Ends: Marvel & Disney sittin' in a tree, MacGyver, Gaiman, pen-free writing and one humiliated canine

2009-08-31T09:13:00.005-05:00

+ Uh oh, Wolverine's gonna have to cut those muttonchops: Disney's buying Marvel Entertainment for $4 billion and a lifetime supply of free Magic Mountain rides.

+ Did you know that this week marks the 40th anniversary of the Internet? Yes indeed -- 40 years ago, people actually had to talk to each other and take three hour lunches to goof off at work. How far we've come!

+ From Lifehacker, 10 Tricks MacGyver Would Be Proud Of. Personally, I like the "how to dry out a doused cell phone." I could've used that one a few dozen times in my life.

+ Neil Gaiman talks about the resurgance of vampires in pop culture and why it kind of sucks. (Ha ha, get it? Get it?)

+ Scientists have found a way to track the eletrical impulses that produce handwriting...which means in the future, you won't need a pen or pencil to write. Does this mean I won't be able to go to the office supply store anymore and fondle the writing instruments? Because if so, I'm having none of that. Go away, science!

+ Have you guys ever seen the Cadaeic Cadenza? It's a short story in which the number of letters in each word equals the first 3,834 digits of pi. Here's a wiki write-up on it for more details. Very cool idea -- and thanks to Park Bench reader Laura for the tip!

+ And finally, via Topless Robot, here's a picture of a dog dressed as the U.S.S. Enterprise.

Personally, I love the Bud Light-fueled nacelles...and the look of horror on the poor dog's face.

Friday Odds & Ends: The Blob (sorta), V, goats and the actual Big Bang

2009-08-28T10:16:00.003-05:00

+ So, uh, Rob Zombie wants to remake "The Blob" but without so much of the...you know...blob-iness. Personally, I hope he uses balloon animals instead. Improperly inflated, those things can be terrifying.

+ Well now, this is a little worrisome: production on ABC's remake of "V" has shut down for two weeks for some creative fine-tuning. The execs say the shut-down won't delay the show's Nov. 3 debut.

+ Check out this great video explanation of The Big Bang. It's really simple but visually quite effective and also, yes, mind-blowing. Kinda puts things in perspective...

+ I really, really want to see this movie and will cry small, sad tears if it turns out not to be as good as its trailer. It's called "The Men Who Stare at Goats" and it stars George Clooney and Ewan McGregor and it's about the U.S. military training soldiers to use their minds to fight...or, as Clooney's character calls it, training them to become Jedi. It already gets three stars from me just for having the word "goat" in the title:

Thursday Odds & Ends: Summer Glau, Chuck, 2012 and Lost

2009-08-27T12:23:00.005-05:00

+ Okay, it's official -- I'm definitely going to have to start watching "Dollhouse" again. It's been confirmed that the former Terminator herself Summer Glau is joining the cast as a new recurring character. And so's "Angel" alumnus Alexis Denisof who'll play a U.S. Senator. Yep, I'm doing a happy dance.

+ In other casting news, Brandon Routh, also know as that last Superman guy with the manly, knowing eyebrows, will be joining "Chuck" for a multi-episode arc when the show returns in March 2010.

+ Hey, is your day going too well? Need a little something to bring you down? Then check out this new Japanese trailer for Roland Emmerich's "2012." Honestly, this guy does death and destruction so well, I have to wonder what his dreams are like? All fluffy bunnies and rainbows? Anyway, it's a cool trailer...and we get to see Chiwetel Ejiofor. That makes the end of the world a little better, doesn't it?

+ You've got to see this gorgeous artistic rendering of time travel in film and television. It's such a cool idea and the end result is really fascinating. Thanks to Austen for the link!

+ And finally, I love this new series of "Lost" tie-in posters. In honor of the show's final season, 16 artists who are also fans of the show were commissioned to do special character posters. They're available for purchase and only 300 are being produced. I love the Hitchcock-ian style of this Locke one:

ETA: Here's a different link that shows the other "Lost" poster released so far. Looks like they'll add additional images as they're released.

Wednesday Odds & Ends: The Guild, Arkham Asylum and Tolstoy as your Intro to Lit professor

2009-08-26T09:22:00.004-05:00

+ Don't forget, if you're an Xbox Live Gold Member, you could be watching episode one of "The Guild"'s new season...and telling the rest of us all about it. It'll become available to Xbox Silver members next week. In the meantime, to tide us over, here's a season 3 preview...with Wil Wheaton!

&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://videoguide.msn.com/play/?g=7d9ab599-724c-413d-8afe-5999b05caec1" target="_new" title="The Guild Season 3 - Trailer"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Video: The Guild Season 3 - Trailer&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;

+ Some dude named Gary over at Entertainment Weekly chimes in on all the hubbub over the new "Batman: Arkham Asylum" game. He likes it but he's not sure how much he likes it. Boys, I swear...

+ Speaking of games, MSNBC offers this article in which gamers fight back against a recent study claiming that says most players are overweight and depressed. This follows hot on the heels of that other recent study revealing how a lot of studies are based on huge, lazy generalities that serve no purpose other than to piss people off.

+ Saw this mentioned in The New Yorker: would literary giants make good college professors? Times Higher Education published their very funny analysis of fictional job interviews with such literary legends as Tolstoy, Kafka and Rimbaud, who was deemed "not suited to a university environment except as an expellable member of a fraternity - if one would take him."

+ In other high-brow news, did you know that Arnold Schwarzenegger keeps his Conan the Barbarian sword in his office? The one where he's all governor-y and stuff? See? That empty chair is where a foe once sat.