Ah, I love the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest -- yup, the contest devoted to terrible first lines and inspired by that golden oldie, "It was a dark and stormy night." The winners have been announced and here are a few favorites:
"Like a mechanic who forgets to wipe his hands on a shop rag and then goes home, hugs his wife, and gets a grease stain on her favorite sweater - love touches you, and marks you forever." By Beth Fand Incollingo
"'Toads of glory, slugs of joy,' sang Groin the dwarf as he trotted jovially down the path before a great dragon ate him because the author knew that this story was a train wreck after he typed the first few words." By Alex Hall
And my personal favorite:
"'Die, commie pigs!' grunted Sergeant "Rocky" Steele through his cigar stub as he machine-gunned the North Korean farm animals." By Dave Ranson
Check out the rest of the winners here.
That made my morning. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI found this today and it made me think of these awards.
ReplyDeletehttp://help.com/post/124066-funny-metaphors-used-in-high-school
Unfortunately, these were actually used in writing, not meant to be farcical.
-Mandy