An American "Torchwood?" Oh my.

So the news came out today that Fox is developing a U.S. version of "Torchwood." The downside is that, with the exception of "The Office," I'm loathe to see any UK show I enjoy -- or not enjoy that often, as is the case with "Torchwood" -- subjected to any ham-fisted makeovers by American TV networks. We just don't do subtlety that well.

On the plus side, the new script is being written by Russell T. Davies himself and overseen by "Torchwood"'s original production team so it could turn out to be great -- an updated version of "The X-Files" but with more gratuitous sex and jokes about Wales. (If they do a US version, what city takes the place of Cardiff when it comes to gentle jibes and verbal beatings? Cleveland?)

The article seems to indicate that some original cast members may take part including John Barrowman, which would be nifty. I hope Fox knows I'll watch the show no matter what if they bring over Russell Tovey and add him to the cast. Just FYI.

The most troubling aspect of the whole story, though, is the last paragraph that mentions something about a "Doctor Who" reboot for American audiences, which just about made me vomit up my TARDIS birthday cake.* No, no and no again! Some things like malt vinegar and an elegance in taunting the French are meant to be British and nothing else. What's more, if American networks keep bringing over UK shows, the effect of being an Anglophilic TV snob will be rendered moot and I, for one, will not stand for that!

What do you think about a possible Americanized "Torchwood?"

* P.S. Yes, I got an actual TARDIS post-birthday cake last night from my friend, who makes the world's best cakes. Check out the craftsmanship!

Who hasn't wanted to gift wrap their cat?

Sure, it would have been better if I'd spotted this before the holidays, but really, when is it not a good time to wrap your cat like a present?

Randomizing my randomness

So, you know how sometimes life interferes with blogging? Yep, that's my story these days. A new work project I'm involved in has radically altered my schedule. Sadly, that means my writing schedule has changed too. Rather than give up the blog totally, which would make me very, very sad, I've decided the best solution is to blog randomly...on a regular basis. Meaning rather than doing daily Odds and Ends posts, I'm just going to just do mini posts -- hopefully every day -- about random things that I hope you find as amusing or weird as I do.

So first up, have you seen this bit with "Lost" characters explaining how to make a sandwich? I especially love this explanation from Kate:

Kate
1. Make separate sandwiches, one with peanut butter and one with jelly
2. Take a bite of the peanut butter sandwich, declaring it the best
3. Take a bite of the jelly sandwich, declaring it the best
4. Repeat steps 2 and 3 ad infinitum
5. Follow peanut butter or jelly sandwich into grave danger

And this one for Danielle:

Danielle
1. Apply peanut butter
2. Disappear for eight months
3. Apply jelly
4. Disappear for eight months
5. Eat sandwich

And my imaginary island boyfriend, Ben:

Ben
1. Steal someone else’s sandwich
2. Claim you coerced them into making the sandwich for you all along
3. Say you’ll tell them everything if they make you another sandwich
4. Stare at them all creepy-like

Oh man, I can't wait for "Lost" to return and thank God that whole State of the Union nonsense won't be getting in the way. Fantasy island mysteries before politics -- all the way!

Thursday Odds & Ends: Christopher Lee, Charlamagne, NPH vs. Barrowman, cool watches and liquor

+ Even if this didn't involve sci-fi and horror legend Sir Christopher Lee, this would still be an awesome project: a symphonic metal about everyone's favorite first Holy Roman Emperor Charlamagne. Yes, Sir Christopher Lee, heavy metal and Charlamagne. Is it Christmas again already?





+ "Lost" returns on February 2, and in the meantime, if you can't remember what's happened over the last half dozen seasons or, if you're like me and don't really understand what happened over the last half dozen seasons, here's a handy reference video featuring all 98 episodes of "Lost" in 8 minutes:



+ Did you catch all the hullabaloo over the "Gay Man of the Decade" battle between Neil Patrick Harris and John Barrowman over the holidays? Well, the winner has been announced. That was a totally unfair contest -- it's like asking a mother to choose her favorite child, if both children were incredibly hot gay men with the kind of biceps that make baby angels cry. There oughta be a law against this kind of cruelty.

+ Production for "Spider-Man 4" -- a film I keep forgetting is even being made -- has been delayed indefinitely while they apparently figure out small details like plot and script and characters.

+ Now that it's a new year, I'm thinking of drinking more, which makes this Mental Floss article detailing the histories of 11 famous cocktails all the handier. Also, it gives me an excuse to quote Ogden Nash: "Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker!" (Oh yeah! What other blog's gonna name check Ogden Nash today? Okay, probably like half a dozen but still, I did it with zest.)

+ I have no idea why, but I want this watch: it's a Dick Tracy-style wrist phone. When I was a child, I had one of those Pac-Man wrist watches that I loved and this is a million times cooler. If I had this watch, I would wear it to work and pretend I was getting secret calls from spies - and God - all day long. It would be awesome. Not for my co-workers, of course, but definitely awesome for me.

My totally biased and slightly incoherent review of "The End of Time"

If you haven't seen David Tennant's final "Who" episode, "The End of Time" yet then please be forewarned, there are spoilers ahead. So avert your eyes...I'll give you a few seconds...here, I'll even put in a picture!


I'm just going to say it. I don't care about plot. When it comes to watching a show about a 900 year old alien who travels time and space in an anachronistic blue box, I refuse to get my feathers ruffled about continuity, logic and coherence. I will readily admit that "The End of Time" was a complete mess: Timelords, Gallifrey, The Master, Barack Obama and aliens with green pointy faces. Who knows what the hell that was all about? I, for one, do not care one bit.

You know why? Because where these episodes went astray in terms of plot, they were absolutely spot on when it came to character and depth of emotion, and that's everything I wanted for Ten's farewell. To whit, every single scene between Ten and Donna's grandfather Wilf was heartbreakingly beautiful. When Wilf tried again and again to give The Doctor his gun, and quietly sobbed about how he didn't want the Doctor to die, about how he was the most wonderful person -- oh God, how could you not get even a little bit misty eyed over that? (Or in my case, start sobbing uncontrollably.)

Beyond the sci-fi and beyond the plot, this episode was at heart about mortality, about two old men confronting the end and doing everything they could to make that end matter. For the Doctor to sacrifice himself not to save the world, not to save the universe, but to save Wilf, the only other man who knew what he was going through, was a thing of beauty. It was the most heroic thing this Doctor could ever have hoped to do. It was perfect.

People have complained about the drawn-out ending, too, with the Doctor going off to get his "reward" and seeing all his former companions and the people who meant the most to him. To those people, I say too bad. I loved those little grace note moments -- the final wave to Sarah Jane, a final act of kindness for Captain Jack and Alonso, those wonderful words to a young Rose telling her what a great year she was going to have. As a fan, I wanted those farewells just as much as The Doctor did. This is the end of an era, after all.

And finally, just a word or two about Tennant's performance. As I mentioned a few weeks ago, Tennant has rarely faltered as The Doctor and for these last two episodes, he was nothing short of spectacular. His monologue after he realizes he'll have to sacrifice himself for Wilf is heartbreaking, so angry yet no matter the terrible things he says, Tennant never lets you doubt that he will make that sacrifice and that he loves Wilf and meant it when he said he'd have been honored to have Wilf as his father. Tennant is twelve kinds of awesome in that scene.

Damn, I'm going to miss him.

But enough out of me -- what did you think?

Tuesday Odds & Ends: Avatar, more zombies, Caprica, Deathly Hallows and Matt Smith

Well looky here, it's 2010! Hope your holidays were happy and full of good times and good friends. As for me, I'm just happy to have rid our space-time continuum of that ass-hatted year known as 2009. Good riddance! And now, on to the newsy bits...

+ So I hear there's some movie out called "Avatar" and it's about super-thin Smurfs or something. (Okay, I'm trying to act casual about this movie, but I really do want to see it. It's just that the husband and I made a pact that we won't see it anywhere but in 3-D IMAX and the show's sold out all the time. Sigh.) Anywho, here's a website where you can learn how to speak Na'vi, which is apparently what the wafer thin Smurfs speak.

+ Oh man, they've created a monster. There's going to be a prequel to "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" called "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls." Maybe if they beat that dead horse enough it'll come back to life.

+ Io9 has seen the first few episodes of "Caprica," which debuts on SyFy on January 22, and they've got some spoiler free observations. I really liked the pilot, so I'm looking forward to the launch of this series.

+ I know I'm getting old when I can't remember if I've seen this "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" trailer yet. Cinema Blend says its new though, so let's all just trust them, eh?

+ I really enjoyed this list of the "12 Favorite Sci-Fi and Fantasy TV Moments of the Decade." I pretty much agree with all of them. Crazy!

+ I don't even really know what to say about this: a French artist is allowing a millionaire to film his every moment until he dies...all in an effort to prove he can outlive the millionaire's prediction. Who has enough time to come up with this stuff? Rich guys and artists, apparently.

+ Have you seen the trailer for the new season of "Doctor Who?" Even though I'm still rehydrating after watching "End of Time" (review to come later today), I am looking forward to Matt Smith's tenure. Anyway, here's the trailer. Enjoy!