Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Nerd Man of the Month: Patrick Stewart
Please forgive me for bypassing the democratic process and going all dictatorial for this month's Nerd Man honors. I just couldn't let another month go by without honoring one of the gods of nerdiness, Patrick "my voice is like soft British butter" Stewart.
There's so much to love about Patrick Stewart. First, check out those biceps! Holy cow, they're like a force of nature! And I bet he makes the "gun show" joke constantly. Oh, also, he's a really good actor. From his role in "I, Claudius," where he rocked a tunic, sandals AND a toupee like a champ to his role as Captain Jean-Luc Picard in "Star Trek: The Next Generation" (aka "the best Star Trek") to his role as Professor Xavier in "The X-Men" films, the guy is a stud of the nerdy genres.
In all seriousness, Stewart deserves kudos for taking the cheese out of "Star Trek" and bringing a much needed gravitas to the role of Picard. He made you care about the Frenchman and the duties he shouldered. (Just an aside, if Picard was French, why did he have a British accent? Does this confirm my suspicion that in the future France will get completely drunk and let England invade with nary a watery burp from the masses?) And anyone with a pulse would have wet themselves just a bit in Star Trek's "Best of Both Worlds" episode when Stewart turned to the camera, all Borg-fied with that little laser light strapped to the side of his head and intoned "I am Locutus of Borg. Resistance is futile." I get a big nerd shiver just thinking about it.
Stewart then went on to do "The X-Men" series of films and continues to do stellar work, most recently appearing on Broadway in "Macbeth." And who doesn't love his "A Christmas Carol" one-man show?
Frankly, it all boils down to the voice. Yeah, he's a good lookin' dude. And yeah, he made bald and middle-aged sexy. But that honey-sweet voice with its deep melodious tone...well, let's face it, nine out of ten women would buy anything that man is selling. Let's all go smoke our cigarettes now, shall we?