The "Lost" drinking game

"Lost" returns in all its awesome glory tonight. To celebrate, I offer this "Lost" drinking game. Because I am on a diet, I encourage you to suffer along with me and play the game while enjoying low-fat green tea. Mmmm...

God, I want a donut.

Anyway, feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments. The more, the merrier!

Take a sip every time:

* Hurley says “dude.”
* Ben says something nonsensical...and menacing...and semi-rodent-like, possibly about cheese.
* You notice Future Jack’s beard looks like a small bear is getting sexy with his chin.
* Kate waffles between Jack and Sawyer and then Sawyer and Jack and then Jack and Sawyer...and wait for it...Jack and Sawyer some more. Egads, woman!
* Desmond says “aye” in that saucy way that makes you wish he was your yes man
* Locke goes crazy, does crazy, exudes crazy, says “crazy,” acts mildly wacky or kills a guy.

Chug every time:

* Claire actually has a line.
* Claire aggravates you because she actually has a line.
* You get misty-eyed when Bernard and Rose are together.
* Sayid kicks ass...and reminds you of how Naveen Andrews was the only good part of "The English Patient."
* Sawyer grimaces and/or furrows a brow...and you want to tell him that if he keeps making those faces, it’s going to stick. Didn’t his mother teach him anything?
* You feel compelled to call shenanigans because Jin said something way too complicated for a guy who just learned English. Although let’s face it, when Jin’s on screen, are we really listening to what he’s saying or are we just staring? I think we’re just staring.

Pour entire keg over your head and dance around chanting, “I knew it! I knew it! You can’t fool me, Lindelof, with your fancy fooling ways!” if:

* Jacob turns out to be played by the ghost of Anthony Perkins.
* Charlie turns out NOT to be dead...in the future! Also, he is now a polar bear.