It was 20 years ago today...(well, actually this past Monday)

This week marks the 20th anniversary of one of my favorite creations of all time. Nope, not butter, although that’s a very good guess. I’m talking about “Mystery Science Theater 3000,” a show about a guy trapped on a space ship watching awful movies with his robot friends. And I’m saying it loud and proud right here and now: it was pretty much the funniest damn show ever made and, to date, the only show to ever make me laugh so hard I sustained an actual physical injury. (And I never played piano again.)

Sure, there’ve been other funny TV shows, even some funny shows without puppets. But they were all 22 to 42 minutes long. Big deal. The writers of MST3K were funny for an hour-and-a-half every episode, mocking everything and everyone from Jackie Collins to “Harold and Maude” to Russian literature and Dada-ism. In a world filled with comedic sprinters, these writers were marathoners. (See, right there? They would have thrown in a clever “Is it safe?” joke. I have no such skill.)

“Mystery Science Theater” was a primer on exceptional writing. It proved in a profound manner that you don’t ever have to pander or dumb a joke down to make people laugh. Smart humor is good humor and even if half the room is scratching their heads at a Frida Kahlo joke, the other half of the room is thinking it’s the greatest thing ever because, seriously, it’s a Frida Kahlo joke! Who the hell makes Frida Kahlo jokes? Everyone who’s ever gotten an MST joke that rendered the rest of the room silent knows what a great feeling it is, like you just earned your PhD in cultural awesomeness.

Plus the show was just plain hilarious. I firmly contend that unless dolphins start performing cabaret or cats learn to give the finger, I will never see anything more miraculous than “A Patrick Swayze Christmas.” And lines like, “If you’re like me – and I know I am” and “How much Keefe is in this movie? Miles O’Keefe” will never not be funny. TV Frank’s plaintive love song to “Nummy Muffin Cookle Butter,” Torgo the Pizza Delivery Man, the Joey the Lemur Song – I love them all with irrational glee.



MST also worked because it had heart. It had that Midwestern humor that hits hard but never hurts. For as many films as they skewered, you always felt they still had affection for them – and when you think about some of the movies they had to sit through, that’s pretty damn impressive. (Joe Don Baker in “Mitchell” alone would have driven me to criminal acts.)

The characters gave the show heart, too. I never thought I’d anthropomorphize puppets made of gumball machines and bowling pins, but Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot had, well, depth, as did villains, Dr. Forrester and TV’s Frank, whose deeply disturbing yet weirdly endearing relationship cracked me up to no end. And then there was Joel and Mike (I really want to say “Maude” here, too, but I’ll refrain). Whether you were a Hodgson fan or a Nelson fan or, like me, a fan of both, there’s no denying the charm and good-natured lovability each brought to their role.

So please join me today in celebrating the greatness that was “Mystery Science Theater 3000.” It was the best cow town puppet show ever.

And don't forget to check out the MST crew's latest projects: Cinematic Titanic and Rifftrax. And if you want to indulge your nostalgia like I plan to, pick up a copy of the 20th anniversary MST box set. And if you want to read a far better tribute to MST than mine, check out Wil Wheaton's paean here.

Twenty years of Star Trek-y goodness

When I was in college, my friends and I would gather each week to watch new episodes of "Star Trek: The Next Generation." In order to be let into my friend's apartment, he required us to announce loudly into the speaker on the building's front door that we would "like to be beamed directly into the warp core." Keep in mind that this front door was on a busy street and that speaking those words meant that every single person passing by could hear you and, yes, judge you. I tell this story because the humiliation that I underwent each Sunday night just to get into that apartment and watch ST:TNG with my friends convinced me that I must be one hell of a fan. And a big nerd. And maybe a masochist, not that any of those things are mutually exclusive. This is all to say, I really loved "Star Trek: The Next Generation."

The show is celebrating its 20th anniversary this week, and I can't help but feel nostalgic. Looking back, there were so many things I loved about the show, including the fact that it was nothing like the original Star Trek which, let's face it, was filled with enough cheese to choke a rat. Here are a few other reasons why I loved ST:TNG:

1) Good stories. Sure, there were a lot of crappy stories, mostly involving Worf, but there was an awful lot of good stuff, too. The Borg were brilliant creations that became chilling and worthy adversaries. And the show was never afraid to tell quiet stories either -- "Legacy," in which Picard lives a whole life inside his head, and "Darmok," in which Picard and an alien learn to speak to one another -- paved the way for the kind of mature storytelling that characterizes today's elite sci-fi shows like "Battlestar Galactica."

2) Very little Roddenberry. Producers Rick Berman and Michael Piller seemed to pretty much ignore Gene Roddenberry -- and for that I say thank you. No offense to Roddenberry. He was a visionary and without him, Star Trek would never have existed. But honestly, he didn't always have the best storytelling instincts: hey, let's have a world with no conflict! Hey, let's have a female character with three breasts! Hey, let's invent Ferengi! The less Roddenberry had to do with TNG, the better it got.

3) Patrick Stewart. He had that voice, that accent, and that shiny, sexy bald head. He made bad actors (that's you, Gates McFadden) look decent and good actors (hi, Brent Spiner) look even better. The show would have been nothing without him.

4) Data.Who would have thought that ripping off Pinocchio would be such a good move? Data was, hands down, one of the finest characters ever created in the Star Trek universe. Sure, he was a refinement of Spock, and sure, they tried to copy him in every other Star Trek show to follow, but Data was a prime example of how good Star Trek could be when it focused on characters with strong, compelling internal conflicts. Plus, Data could crack a joke and he had that cute cat.

5) Strong relationships.I should clarify right away and say that I don't mean romantic relationships because, dear God, watching Star Trek deal with romance was like watching 14 year old boys deal with romance...except the 14 year old boys would have done it better. But the show excelled at friendships, whether between Data and Geordie or the faux father-son thing going on with Picard and Wes. The characters always worked best when they bounced off each other, with each interaction strengthening their appeal. They made you believe these folks all cared about each other.

6) An excellent final episode.Where so many other shows have failed, TNG managed to create a compelling, affectionate and satisfying final episode. It referenced its first episode. It brought back old nemeses (I missed you, Q). It wrapped up long-running questions. And it remembered why we all watched the show in the first place: the characters...and also to see stuff blowing up. They threw plenty of that in at the end, too.

7) Good movies.TNG spawned some pretty darn good movies. And I'm going to say it right here: I liked "Generations." It was no "First Contact," but damn it, it had Shatner riding a horse and wearing a girdle while Stewart just kinda watched, appalled You can't tell me that's not great cinema. Plus, Malcolm Macdowell -- who doesn't love that angry little pug?

8) Pretty good special effects for a TV show.For a syndicated sci-fi show, The Next Generation blew shit up pretty spectacularly. From Borg cubes to Enterprises to Styrofoam cities, they knew how to explode stuff without eliciting any laughter. Twenty years later, I'm still impressed.

9) A detailed fictional universe. The writers and producers of TNG created such a detailed universe, their made-up science even made sense. Maybe it's because they knew the show was being watched by obsessive-compulsive fans making flow charts, but whatever the reason, you've got to credit them for making the unbelievable seem real. So real, in fact, that I'm fairly sure I still remember how a warp core works. Something about dilithium crystals....

10) It spawned some other decent shows and kept the Star Trek franchise alive and well for another 20 years. The Next Generation deserves its own spot of honor in the TV pantheon, but it also deserves a pat on the proverbial back for keeping the Star Trek ball rolling for another couple decades. I enjoyed "Deep Space Nine" (for a while at least) and I watched "Voyager" until the (very) bitter end. I gave up on "Enterprise" after realizing I didn't actually like Scott Bakula, but whatever my opinion of the later shows were, they still kept the Star Trek machine alive and well, creating new generations of sci-fi nerds. And now, finally, it's given J.J. Abrams something to do so he doesn't have to go back to "Lost" and try to figure out what the hell is going on over there what with the polar bears and the dead Hobbit.

In short, "Star Trek: The Next Generation" gave us a hell of a lot of good stuff. It was worth getting beamed into the warp core every week just to watch it.

"My name is Inigo Montoya..."

Today's Pop Candy blog informs me that The Princess Bride turns 20 this year. ABC News has a "where are they now" item up about the cast that's kind of cool, except for the part where I realize that Cary Elwes seems to have had plastic surgery. (You didn't need it, Cary!) Mandy Patinkin is still looking pretty good. And I feel I must take this moment to be a huge fan girl and reveal that I once got kissed by Mandy on stage during one of his concerts. I will then neglect to mention that he also kissed about 20 other women at the same time because it's not important and because he obviously liked me best. If you ever get a chance to see Patinkin perform live, by the way, do it. He puts on a great show. And he makes out with his audience!