Getting to know The Doctor

Pull to open, indeed.

Remember how "Doctor Who"'s David Tennant was our Nerd Man a few months ago and I said that I kind of liked the show but didn't really know that much about it? And then later I saw a few more episodes but still didn't know much about it? Well, I decided finally to do something about that gap in my pop culture knowledge and started renting what I believe is Season 2 of the new "Doctor Who" from Netflix. (Season one's the one with Christopher Eccleston, right?) I figured I'd start with Doctor #10 because, well, just look at that hair! (Yes, I am deeply and oxymoronically shallow.) I'm about seven episodes in so far and I gotta say, I'm enjoying the hell out of it.

I figured it would be funny and it certainly fills my need for goofy sci-fi monsters and ridiculous plots. What I didn't realize was quite how exciting it would be or how emotional. I have to admit, I got completely choked up in the episode where Ten is reunited with his past companion Sarah Jane (and Anthony Stewart Head eats children -- that wasn't the teary part) who tries to explain to The Doctor what it was like to get left behind. Okay, I knew zero, nothing and nada about what had gone on in past episodes, but wow, it was sniffle city when poor Sarah told him no other man had matched up to him. And seriously, her robot dog got to me, too. And then realizing that the Doctor's current companion, poor Rose, would one day go through the Companion Ditching, too. Ugh. This must be what "normal" women feel like when they watch "Sex and the City." Except for the robotic dog part.

Oh, and the two-parter with the Cybermen! Seems lame on paper: mad scientists puts human brains in robotic army to take over world. Oookay, but damn, it was exciting! Poor Rose and her parallel universe family. At least they named the dog after her.

The real draw, though, is Tennant. He's so frenetic, careening from one emotion to another. So charming and effusive one minute and then truly scary the next. He gives the Doctor more than enough edge to keep him from going cartoony. And I like the fact that the Doctor is not always a nice guy. He can be cold and deeply arrogant. But flawed heroes are the best heroes, right? All I know is, when the Doctor yells, it's six parts scary and four parts sexy...and that's pretty much reason enough to watch the show right there.

I'm not quite sure how I'm going to feel watching a new Doctor when the time comes. And that conceit of a new doctor every few years ties in with the one thing about the show I don't actually like. It's the same thing that always bothered me about "Star Trek" actually and that's the fact that the show is restricted by its format. I know just by watching the ten or so episodes I've seen that the relationship between Rose and the Doctor will likely never be resolved in a satisfying way because the Doctor is always meant to change and the Companion is always meant to change. Perhaps I'm wrong about this, but I can see where the writers hold back on what could be very powerful scenes or character developments because of the impermanence of these individuals. It's kind of a drag, but certainly not enough of a drag to get me to stop watching.

This post was meant as my act of contrition to any and all people who told me I'd grow to love this show. You were right! And yes, you don't even have to say it: I'll be trying "Torchwood" too.

ETA: It's now official that Tennant will be leaving after this coming season of "Who." Was it something I said??

Nerd Man: Anthony Stewart Head

Nostalgia made me do it. I admit right here and now that the selection of Anthony Stewart Head as October’s much-delayed Nerd Man of the Month was at least in part* the result of listening to the “Once More With Feeling” soundtrack and remembering just how wonderful Head was as Giles on “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” And that voice! No one can deny the magnetic quality of that voice. Le rowr.

A true journeyman actor, Head seems to pop up everywhere and often when you least expect it. After starting off in those God-awful coffee commercials years ago, he ended up on the sci-fi series VR-5. Then later, there was Buffy, which deserves a paragraph of its own. We had the BBC’s “Manchild” series, which I adored. He sang his transvestite heart out in the London revival of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.” He popped up in “Sweeney Todd.” He rocked in “Doctor Who.” (And what a loss that he didn’t get the part of the Eighth Doctor. He’d have been perfect.) He looked wonderfully confused and stern in “Little Britain.” He’s going to be in the BBC’s “Merlin” series as King Arthur’s father, and he’s got a very disturbing and gory musical film coming out called “Repo! The Genetic Opera.” The man’s even got his own CD, “Music For Elevators.”

As terrific as Head is in all those parts, it's his role as Giles that truly cements his nerd man status. Sarah Michelle Gellar may have been the star of “Buffy” and James Marsters and David Boreanez its heart throbs, but Head was the anchor. A show about teenagers and the pain of growing up needed a strong parent figure and Head’s Giles was always up to the challenge. He was caring and funny and charmingly self-involved – his mid-life crisis after his “kids” went away to college was particularly great. Most of all, Giles was smart and may well have been the first character in the history of television to make research sexy. The true value of Head became clear after he left the show in season 6 when, in my opinion, “Buffy” lost so much of its heart.

Besides the acting skills and genre credentials, by all accounts Head just seems like a nice guy. And we nerdy chicks dig the nice guys. Plus, aesthetically speaking, just look at that photo. What’s not to love?

So, for being a stellar actor, for filling our genre needs, for having a voice that makes us purr, for making Giles awesome and for being a generally swell fellow, The Park Bench is pleased to name Anthony Stewart Head as its October Nerd Man of the Month.

* Agent57 was also kind enough to suggest Head during my plea for nominees last week. Thanks, Agent57!

Hello kitty, turn your brights off!

I know I've blogged about this before, but seriously, the idea of glow in the dark cats just never gets old. Mr. Green Genes -- as his cruel science overlords dubbed him -- is a cloned feline with phosphorescent skin who fights crime. Okay, no, he just has phosphorescent skin but surely the ability to glow in the dark should make him eligible for some sort of hirsute superhero brigade, right?

Here's a video of Mr. Green Genes. In case you can't see his thought bubble, it says, "Fuuuuck...where is that light coming from? Let it be Lauer. Let it be Lauer."

Scientists claim they're doing this to cure diseases and save endangered species. Personally, I think these cats are being bred to sell to college kids who'll drape scarves over them and smoke dope in their mellow glow. Yay science! We'll just solve global warming tomorrow.

Promo for Buffy, the animated series

How the heck did I miss this? It's a short, 3-minute promo for what would have been "Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Animated Series." I can't believe this project got nixed. It would have been great, judging from this snippet.

Cinematic Titanic...live! And kinda far away!

There are some who would say that driving 1,362 miles in one weekend to watch a poorly dubbed movie about a family of 19th-century Mexican vampires is not a good use of one's time. To which I would say, "But it was a live stage version of Cinematic Titanic!" Then you -- chastised but just a little bit wiser -- would heartily agree with me that yes, that was quite possibly the finest use of a weekend imaginable. And in a final act of reconciliation, we would hug and eat s'mores.

All of which is my long way of saying The Husband and I drove to Minneapolis this weekend to see Trace Beaulieu, Frank Conniff, Joel Hodgson, Mary Jo Pehl and J. Elvis Weinstein -- the original cast of "Mystery Science Theater" -- perform an incredible live version of their Cinematic Titanic project. (And after the show, a hooker hit on my husband. Bonus!)

For those of you who worshiped at the "MST" altar as I did, the idea of seeing this cast once again rip into a truly crappy movie is the equivalent of what Amy Winehouse must feel when she romps with chocolate bears made of heroin and puppies who bark cocaine. In short, it was awesome from beginning to end.

The show took place at Minneapolis' very pretty State Theater and the movie in question was called "Blood of the Vampires." The plot, near as I could figure, revolved around a family in 19th century Mexico whose mother was a vampire. They kept her in a not-very-locked coffin in the basement while the father lounged around aaaalllmost dying every day except for the times when he felt better and went downstairs to whip his wife. Why? I don't know. Oh, and then (spoiler alert!) the son got married and vamped his wife and then the daughter was going to get married but something happened to her beau, which was sad because he was kind of like a hot Filipino Wayne Newton. And then some other stuff happened. The End.

None of which is even remotely important because you don't go see Cinematic Titanic for the bad movie. You go see it for the awesome comedy. As much as I liked "The Oozing Skull," which was the first CT offering I saw on DVD, this was ten times better. The joke-to-laugh ratio hovered somewhere around the 100 percent mark, and I laughed through the entire thing, from giggle to guffaw. And it was exactly the style of comedy I fell in love with these guys for in the first place: smart, esoteric, wonderfully ridiculous and brilliantly head-scratchy. God love 'em, they even did a "stop, drop and roll" joke when a vamp went up in flames. The warm-up act, Todd Carlin, rocked too, perfectly setting the stage for the evening to come.

It was great seeing how much fun the cast seemed to have, laughing at jokes, turning around to look at the audience. The whole show was relaxed yet polished, seemingly spontaneous but so well-timed and written. Many years ago, I saw an MST stage show and seeing Cinematic Titanic reminded me of just how well this format works live. The laughter is contagious, and damn if it doesn't just make you feel, well, happy at the end of the night.

If you only do one thing of consequence in your life...it should probably involve getting a job or helping poor people. But if you do TWO things of consequence, one of them absolutely has to be seeing this show live and in person. They're playing in St. Louis this weekend and Chicago from Dec. 18 through the 20th. The full schedule with ticket info is here. If you live within 681 miles of either of those locations, BUY YOUR TICKETS NOW AND GO.

The cast also does a meet-and-greet after the show so be sure to bring a boob* or maybe some DVDs for signing. Also, for those of you keeping score at home, my social awkardness during the signing was somewhere around a 5.5 (out of what? I don't know). I did, however, refrain from blurting out, "If there is a heaven, let it be filled with you singing 'Joey the Lemur'" while standing in front of Joel, so pat-on-the-back-time for me!

So, to summarize: Cinematic Titanic? Brilliant enough to drive through Wisconsin for. Twice.**


* Just kidding. Bret Michaels isn't on this leg of the tour.

** Speaking of Wisconsin, what the hell is this? We saw a million billboards for it and call me old fashioned, but the words "exploratory" and "family fun" just shouldn't go together.