Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Remembrance of nerdy things past

Seven years ago, my husband and I moved into our house. The move from our apartment was anything but organized and it amounted, on the last day, to us basically throwing things into the trunks of our cars and then throwing those things into closets that we never opened again.

Now we're doing some deep cleaning, and I'm unearthing items long forgotten, including all of the things that offer irrefutable evidence of the fact that I have, actually, been a nerd my entire life. Among the geek-tastic items I've rediscovered:

+ A Star Trek: The Next Generation tricorder, given to me by equally nerdy friends as a gift on my 21st birthday. So yes, while other 21-year-olds were boozing it up on their big nights, I was scanning the sidewalk for dilithium.

+ A poem written by me, as a sixth grader, entitled "Ode on a Grecian Badger." I'll leave the content of that poem to your collective imaginations. Hint: it involves a badger.

+ A box the size of a Subaru filled with Star Trek novels. I pretended to be a literary snob in high school and college and used to force my then-boyfriend to buy the Star Trek novels for me as I stood in line next to him, holding my Times Literary Supplement beard, and shaking my head in mock disgust at his taste in fiction. Yes, I was a jerk.

+ An equally giant box filled with X-Files magazines, which was apparently my equivalent of porn because it was at the bottom of the closet and buried discretely under bank statements.

+ A slightly smaller box filled with Buffy shooting scripts. I'm not apologizing for that one. Instead, I will simply congratulate myself on not putting on my glasses and spending the rest of the night in a script-reading haze.

+ Pictures of Marina Sirtis and Michael Dorn from the one and only Star Trek convention I ever attended. Now, I'm a fan of the conventions -- you know that about me -- but seriously, that was a scary crowd. Looking at the photo of Marina and Michael, I'm pretty sure they felt the same way. Of course, they could have just been scared of me, what with my filthy X-Files predilections.

+ Speaking of conventions, there's my "MST3K Conventio-Con Expo Fest-a-rama 1994" t-shirt! And my Satellite of Love pin. I wonder how many staff meetings I can wear that pin to before someone realizes what it is. Note to self: I now have the most awesome secret mission EVER.

+ A G-rated "Remington Steele"/"Black Stallion" crossover fan fiction, proudly signed by my nine-year-old self. Seriously. I signed it. What the hell?

And there you have it...The Closet Tour 2010: Full Disclosure. You may now point and mock, if so inclined. Or, you know, if you'd like to buy a case of Star Trek novels, I know someone who can hook you up.


Smee said...

Hahahahaha isn't that the best? Not only do you get the clean house, but you also get to relish in the long-forgotten memories. :) We're in the process of doing the same thing, and yes, our move four years ago also consisted of the throw-it-in-a-box-we'll-unpack-it-later style.

Let us know what other gems you find!

Elizabeth said...

Ha! Everything you did w/Star Trek I did with Star Wars. I was so mad when my family gave away my 40+ novels during a move! And RS/Black Stallion crossover fanfic? The possibilities are intriguing...

Frisco Squid said...

I have a 'closet of holding' in my parents' house that holds objects along the lines of plastic Viking weaponry, stuffed animals... like a clown doll that looks like the one from the "Poltergeist" movie, collectible ballerina figurines, vintage Marvel comic books, and other joys. I still know where everything is in there, spacially speaking. It makes is so easy to find what I need when I need it. It is one of the joys of being a kinesthetic.

Jean said...

All my Star Trek novels are on a shelf, two deep, although I quit collecting them some years ago. I think there must be a couple hundred there. :) I even have the set of novels based on OST, and a set of the novels from the animated series. I've thought about selling them, just haven't been able to let go yet.

Marla said...

Best Closet Ever! :) I recently found an oil painting of Marina Sirtis I did when I was 13 years old!

Meg said...

Oh bless you! Being a thirty something fangirl is something I have recently embraced publicly. What I feel right now is pure jealousy that you still have your box of X-File magazines (which can be likened to porn- especially that EW episode guide and the US weekly with Gillian licking David, but I digress...). As far as Star Trek novels go, I was known to read the shippy TNG ones many times over...oh Imzadi...:)

Michele said...

The signed fanfic is beyond cute!

Kathe said...

You are my Nerd Hero! :)

At one point I had taped every single episode of ST: TNG, those have long gone, but I still have my Star Trek convention pics from 1995 - Riker was our big ticket speaker, he was freakin' hilarious.

Red said...

That last bit about the RS/Black Stallion cross over made me laugh out loud. As an almost-40 year old, I can almost imagine what that kind of fan fic could be about.

RS and the Black Stallion did both have great hair :)

I would also like to read your Ode to a Grecian Badger. I'm a graduate of the Univ of Wisconsin, where our mascot is Bucky Badger, so you can see why I'd be curious.

Tracy said...

"Grecian Badger" ... hmmm.

My Dachshunds would be intrigued! ["dachs" is German for badger, "hund" is German for dog]

Julie said...

I need to go through my mom's closets, where my college stuff is stored. It will involve phrases like "now where did my Imperial landspeeder end up?" and "Hey! My Data action figure!" You're definitely not alone.

Sleepy mama said...

Congrats on another great entry! I'm right there with you on the X-Files magazine obsession!
My favorite line today is:
"Hint: it involves a badger"

Astro_D said...

Love the MST3K reference. I've loved MST3K since I was 12 (I'm now 25). BTW, if you ever get nostalgic for some good old Mike/Gypsy/Crow/Tom Servo action, here's a link that has ALL MST3K episodes! My personal favorites: "Hobgoblins" and "Jack Frost".



Kristen said...

I can relate! Although, my nerdy things are in the more recent past...for example, the five marine biology textbooks I purchased online from various universities about five years ago because I'm a wannabe marine biologist (and, boy, those are some pricey books!). I discovered them during our move to our current house. But, this textbook habit isn't new. My closet at my parents' house is full of my old textbooks from history and science and english and even calculus (as if I'll crack that one open one day and start cranking out formulas - really?). I'm such a nerd. :)

Heather said...

A Satellite of Love pin? Yes, please! I'd love to see a picture.

Jennifer M. said...

Yeah for X-Files and Buffy!! :D

Keith Hood said...

Good God! We were at the same Star Trek convention. BTW, thanks for the heads up on the original Life on Mars. I'm enjoying the first season right now.

Emily said...

Awesome. I didn't get the X-Files magazine, but I still have all of my X-Files season guidebooks. I haven't looked at them in ages and keep wondering if I should just take them down to the used bookstore to free up the space, but then I get sappy and nostalgic and can't imagine not having them anymore....

I recently rewatched most of the myth-arc episodes, in order, without the MOTW eps in between...and the whole mythology seemed a lot more coherent when you watch it that way. Not hugely coherent, mind you, but moreso than I remembered it being.

Anonymous said...

come back, come back!! We miss you Park Bench

Shelley said...

Guilty pleasures: although my writing is firmly earth-bound, I too have been known to enjoy the occasional (original) Star Trek.

Eleanor said...

4 months this blog coming back? Please say yes.

Jen Anderson said...

Miss you!

Anonymous said...

e-Book readers. Could be a huge boon for students.
But they won't enjoy the benefit of electronic products. Still will pay OUTRAGEOUS prices for books for their courses.

Using evil to prey upon evil.
I realize the horrific days of people planning monsterous acts like the Holocaust are behind us. But that doesn't mean there still are not scams in the economy, besides The Skim, wnich the gods view as necessary for positioning's sake.
Just as clone hosting selected disfavored whom the gods wanted ot ensure had no chance to ascend before The End, so did being invited into the 21st century real estate scam ensure as of yet undetermined punishment elements.
They instructed people whom they wanted ot condition into faith in their relationship that since the stock market would top out they should shift their asset base into real estate instead.
And they told them when to sell before they tanked the real estate market as well, timing all based on the level of confidence they wanted each to understand.
The victims may cry "Why would this happen to me." but their behavior in a prior life would answer this:::It didin't happen to anyone who didn't deserve it.

Both the public and the private sector host $400k overpaid employees. The difference?
The public sector preyed upon the disfavored rejects from motherlands, people too disfavored to stay reproducing with their own blood and enjoying their own culture. Corporate preyed upon the more favored purebloods from their motherland through sourcing. Yet another great example of the god's "reverse positioning".

They point the finger at me and claim I participate by shopping at WalMart.
Now this is something I have yet to understand, for they ALL engage in this sourcing due to cheap Asian labor. And Walmart has a very straightforward business model, although not as clear as Costco's "14%", rest assured I pay a margin on each and every product I purchase at Walmart independantly, including my $3 box of American made Cherios and my 68 cent can of Campbell's tomato soup.
INCIDENTALLY, it seems to me we pay THE SAME PRICE FOR SHIT THAT WE DID BEFORE SOURCING BEGAN. The difference is being poicketed by corporate and the $400k employees who are recruited into playing a part in this evil.
The gods intentionally set this up to ensure the onus falls upon the preditory capitalist and not the ignorant public.
Trash at the top just as there is trash in the ghetto.