Showing posts with label dirk benedict. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dirk benedict. Show all posts

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Dirk Benedict, critic philosopher...and big fan of the cigar

Looking for a little light reading by a crazy man? Then please, put your feet up, grab a cup of coffee and read this delightful trope by Dirk Benedict in which he waxes nonsensical about how lousy the re-imagined "Battlestar Galactica" is compared to its velour-riddled predecessor. It's apparently been around for a while but yesterday was the first I've ever heard of it. Seriously, the guy is crazy. I can understand if he doesn't like the show, but really, it's the reasons he gives that really makes this thing art. Here he is talking about the transformation of Starbuck into a female character. FYI, he's very into his cigars:

The best minds in the world of un-imagination doubled their intake of Double Soy Latte’s as they gathered in their smoke-free offices to curse the day that this chauvinistic Viper Pilot was allowed to be. But never under-estimate the power of the un-imaginative mind when it encounters an obstacle (character) it subconsciously loathes. ”Re-inspiration” struck. Starbuck would go the way of most men in today’s society. Starbuck would become “Stardoe.” What the Suits of yesteryear had been incapable of doing to Starbuck 25 years ago was accomplished quicker than you can say orchiectomy. Much quicker, as in, “Frak! Gonads Gone!”

And the word went out to all the Suits in all the smoke-free offices throughout the land of Un-imagination, “Starbuck is dead. Long live Stardoe!”

I’m not sure if a cigar in the mouth of Stardoe resonates in the same way it did in the mouth of Starbuck. Perhaps. Perhaps it “resonates” more. Perhaps that’s the point. I’m not sure. What I am sure of is this…

Women are from Venus. Men are from Mars. Hamlet does not scan as Hamletta. Nor does Hans Solo as Hans Sally. Faceman is not the same as Facewoman. Nor does a Stardoe a Starbuck make. Men hand out cigars. Women “hand out” babies. And thus the world for thousands of years has gone’ round.

Benedict's been bitching about BSG for years but this stuff is just hilarious. I may save this one for those rainy days when I need a good laugh.