What if Wild Turkey fuels my elf?

Those of us playing World of Warcraft 20 hours out of every day have just lost out on some cushy insurance coverage, thanks to a group of spoilsport psychiatrists who are refusing to call video game addiction a mental illness. In fact, they're saying it might not even be an addiction at all, stripping us of the "coolness" cache now reserved for such country club ailments as alcoholism and coke addiction.

"There is nothing here to suggest that this is a complex physiological disease state akin to alcoholism or other substance abuse disorders, and it doesn't get to have the word addiction attached to it," said Dr. Stuart Gitlow of the American Society of Addiction Medicine and Mt. Sinai School of Medicine in New York.

Dr. Gitlow then ended the interview by waggling his thumbs in his ears, sticking his tongue out and shouting, "Nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh."

You know what this means, don't you? If we want enough worker's comp time to solve Zelda, we're going to have to try a little harder.