Tuesday, December 11, 2007

50 Nerdy Things to Do Before You Die...

Part wish list, part to-do list, part flight of fancy...but 100 percent nerd.

50. Have a fashionista compliment you on your outfit.

49. Get married on a replica of the starship Enterprise at the "Star Trek: Experience" in Las Vegas.

48. Be bold and take your action figures out of the box, value be damned!

47. Visit the grave of pioneering comic book artist Jack Kirby.

46. Live James Joyces' Ulysses by attending the Bloomsday Festival in Dublin. (Reading Ulysses first -- or at least buying the Cliff's Notes -- might be good here, too.)

45. See all of Shakespeares' histories performed. Yes, even the crap ones. (Helloooooo, King John!)

44. Visit the yet-to-be-made Harry Potter theme park.

43. Visit the yet-to-be-made Harry Potter theme park and try not to cry tears of girly joy.

42. Defeat King Koopa. Just once, damn it!

41. Have martinis and make witty comments at the Algonquin Hotel in New York, preferably at a round table.

40. See at least one game at all existing Major League Baseball ballparks.

39. Make a tour of Raymond Chandler’s Los Angeles. After that, make a tour of The Big Lebowski’s Los Angeles.

38. Draw a map of a nonexistent or fictional place.

37. Visit DC Comics’ office.

36. Check out the computer labs at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, future birthplace of HAL-9000.

35. Go to the Superman Festival in Metropolis, IL.

34. Have dinner with Adam West (Batman), Burt Ward (Robin) and Linda Carter (Wonder Woman). Denigrate Gil Gerard.

33. Visit the respective castles that inspired Frankenstein and Dracula.

32. Match or out-do Eugene Andreev's record-setting freefall from an altitude of 83,523 ft (25,457 m).

31. Build your own lightsaber.

30. Visit Riverside, Iowa, future birthplace of Captain James T. Kirk.

29. Watch the sunset from inside the "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure" dinosaur.

28. Convince Harold Bloom that Tolkien's Ring trilogy belongs in the canon just as much as that stuffy old Faerie Queene. Plus, hello, hobbits!

27. Go to an underground sing-along screening of the Buffy Musical. (When Buffy is outlawed, only outlaws will sing-along to Buffy.)

26. See the butter cow at the Iowa State Fair.

25. Spend an entire weekend watching Miyazaki films. Subsequently achieve outstanding bliss.

24. Witness a live space shuttle launch. Extra points if you're piloting it.

23. Create an elaborate, unnecessarily detailed wiki about a fictional universe or series of stories.

22. Smuggle your soul into a futuristic robot. One thousand years from now, mock the suckers who fell for cryogenics.

21. Kill a zombie.

20. Kick Eric Clapton's ass in "Guitar Hero."

19. Become an editor and get paid to correct other people's grammar errors.

18. Make a pilgrimage to the Ernest Hemingway Home and Museum in Key West, Florida, and pet his six-toed cats.

17. Learn advanced Klingon.

16. "Accidentally" get locked in a bookstore for seven or eight days.

15. Watch 24 hours of "24" without falling asleep or hallucinating about Tony's soul patch. Seriously. It can't be done.

14. Understand a Tom Stoppard play on the first viewing.

13. Visit the International Space Station and go for a spacewalk.

12. Join the 501st Stormtrooper Brigade.

11. Memorize enough digits of pi to be impressive but not weird.

10. Be part of the first Wii Sport Olympic team. Be satisfied in the knowledge that your groin pulls will only ever be virtual.

9. Make out with Joss Whedon or J.K. Rowling. Extra points if you achieve a two-fer.

8. Gain at least one bionic limb or superpower

7. Feel again like you felt the first time you saw "Star Wars."

6. Correct Alex Trebek on the pronunciation of something French. Consequently hold him when he cries.

5. Figure out what the hell "Lost" is about. [This item also works for "The Prisoner," "Twin Peaks," "Cloverfield," and the popularity of Oprah.]

4. Solve a New York Times crossword puzzle...with your eyes closed. Just kidding. Doing one in pen with no mistakes in under 10 minutes is good, too.

3. Defeat those brainiac kids in the Scripps Spelling Bee Contest.

2. Get something published in The New Yorker. Have David Remnick call and ask where you've been all his life.

1. Live to see the day when smart and witty wins out over hot and shallow every single day of the week.

Contributors: Leonard Pierce, Meghann Williams, Annie, Scott, Kevin Church, One Pink Shoe, Ms. C


Trey said...

Other Nerdy additions:

* Attend one of the big three gaming conventions - Origins, GenCon, or DragonCon.

* Own Issue One of your favorite comic book.

* Attend the World Science Fiction Convention.

* Visit Area 51.

* Complete the nanowrimo novel challenge, on time.

* Look through a radio telescope and ponder the existence of alien life.

* Visit the pyramids of Egypt (or perhaps the Luxor in Vegas) and ponder the existence of alien life.

* Walk the Infinite Corridor at MIT.

* Get your history on with the Society for Creative Anachronisms at the Pennsic War in Slippery Rock, PA.

* Have a transcendent art experience at Burning Man.

* Visit the Science Fiction museum in Seattle.

* Go to Space Camp.

Liz said...

A hearty "yes!" to all of these. In fact, I had the nanowrimo one on there thanks to Miss C but must have messed up a cut and paste somewhere and missed it.

Thank you for the additions!!

Amanda J. said...

This is great. I don't even know what half of this stuff is, but want to do it :-D

Trey said...

Which ones do you have questions on? I can explain, or post links for you.

Trey said...

You're very welcome. Anytime!

Shanna Swendson said...

It's a little freaky how close I've come to doing a lot of these (or how many I've done). Meanwhile, my life to-do list has expanded a little.

On the NYT puzzle, how about doing one in your head? Kind of a crossword puzzle concentration game, for situations when a writing implement isn't handy. (You know you have a crossword puzzle addiction when ...)

Anonymous said...

does it count that i've visited the place that "the prisoner" was filmed? and own issue 1 varient cover of my favourite comic book? :D

TheWaveLife said...

Can I marry you?

Our Man Horn said...

Can't do #29 because the tyrannosaur in Banning, CA faces east. I get nerd points for knowing this.

Joseph Finn said...

"45. See all of Shakespeares' histories performed. Yes, even the crap ones. (Helloooooo, King John!)"

The scary thing is that John was the first of Shakespeare's histories I'd seen performed (really, it's not as bad as, say, Coriolanus).

Rick Cortes said...

-Visit the real-life houses from E.T., Back To The Future, and Poltergeist. (I did all three in one day!)

-Tour Griffith Park Observatory (it's where the Transformers hang out in the live-action movie). Extra points if you hike the mountain trail behind it rather than driving. (I do this regularly.)

-Collect all the variations of a single Transformers character's toy. (Optimus Prime has had dozens over the years. I have about 16.)

-Hang out with a Monkee. (I worked for one a few years ago.)

-Sneak into Universal Studios and explore the Psycho house on-foot. (A friend of mine did this years ago...I'm jealous.)

Nanette said...

These were hilarious! Thanks!

(found this via Pop Candy)

DEAN (TK-899) said...

I can help you with the 501st Stormtrooper thing, but only if you move us closer to the #1 spot.

Anonymous said...

My super power would be time travel. I could clock in and out at work, and then fast forward to payday. I would totally avoid the humdrum of the cubicle jungle. AWESOME!!

Sara Jo said...

What about if you're hot AND smart and witty?

Anonymous said...

what about watching all three lord of the rings movies in one day? and extra points if you watch the special additions?

7 Bates said...

DONE: #48, #42, I'm 11 parks away from #40, #38 (made my own Zelda maps), 37 trip in NY, #24, #20, #12

...but I SO Wanna learn advanced Klingon!!

AxmxZ said...

#14 made me happy, then it made me sad. The only play of his I haven't read yet is 'Hapgood.' My odds of locating a performance are slim. :(

More suggestions:

- Visit a Creatinist museum. Point and laugh.

- Forget about Quenya and other silly constructed shit. Learn the real thing: Karelian. Read the Kalevala in the original. Recite some of it to a Tolkienist. Hold them while they cry.

Unknown said...

Iowa has a butter cow too! I thought the only one was in Ohio! I have many a fond memories of the butter cow. The Ohio State fair (adding to the nerd quotient) one year did a butter C3P-O and R2D2 in addition to the butter cow.

Unknown said...

Awww... Nice to see the Buffy sing along on the list - even in underground sneakeasy form. Keep it alive! Oh, and I have done #21! On film, anyway. It's quite a rush.

Kato said...


Anonymous said...

Lol I Well Know What Pi Is To Like Loads Of Decimals, Its Proper Weird :/


Yeahh ...

Anonymous said...

I've done #37!

Anonymous said...

watch all three extended versions of lord of the rings in a row.

Granny J said...

How about visiting all the volcanos on Kamchatka? BTW, many, many years ago, we rented a small old apartment to a commercial sculptor (worked for display houses) who contracted to do several of those butter cows for state fairs (Wisconsin and Illinois, I'm sure). He was inclined to catch mean colds working in those cold storage lockers.

Anonymous said...

number 49 even better than getting married by a elvis impersonator / minister

Anonymous said...

Made me laugh. Thanks for posting.

Anonymous said...

i only have pi to like the 7th decimal but my friend has it down up to 74 because of a bet with my math teacher...does that still count as weird i mean he had a reason for doing it XD

*Beat all the zelda games
*Beat all the final fantasy games
(much easier now that 1-4 is on gameboy)
*go to a live action rgp

Anonymous said...

Here's what Lost's About :-)

The last 4-minutes of the Lost Series:


Guy Faux said...

smart and witty HAS been winning out over hot and shallow. for a while now. believe me. of course, being adorable can't hurt anyone, but knowledge is way sexy.

put Tolkien in the canon!

Caes said...

I've got sort of a fun(ny?) list of things to do before you die:


Maybe check it out too if you have some time to waste.

Anonymous said...

This is how much of pi i know. Is it impressive or weird?


Anonymous said...

Watch "Big Bang Theory" and . . .

* . . . understand everything that is said/white-boarded.

* . . . think that the characters are perfectly normal and average.

* . . . realize that you ARE one of the characters.

*Bonus points if said character is Sheldon.

They Are Coming For Us! said...

Love the list. If I weren't so scared of the robot uprising, I would suggest "Build your own robot and enter it into battle-bot competitions."

lillythepink57 said...

Awesome list :D

My suggestion:

Attend a costumed Rocky Horror Picture Show screening, complete with cat calls, singing and dancing :D

Sophie said...

I feel proud (and nerdy) to say that I have completed 4 of the things on this list (Alex Trebek on his French, Scripps spelling bee corrections, have a fashionista compliment me on my outfit, drawn a (very complex) map of a fictional place (I was twelve, and was writing an epic fantasy that was really a Nazi allegory. My world was called Illyria, after the ancient Greek place, not the character on Angel)and memorized enough digits of Pi not to be weird but cool (25 isn't weird, right?)

Mara said...

#16 - I broke into a library. On accident... About 3 times....

Stevie said...

Read grammar books and style guides for fun.

Kristen said...

Can I steal your list, print it off, and watch the paper as I slowly, but surely tick all of these off?

Seriously, I need this.


Sarah J said...

-Play Muggle Quidditch - Yes, there is such a thing, you can find the rulebook online.
-Make a list of all you favorite xkcd strips or at least read them all.
-Become a speedcuber.
-Read Harry Potter (or other fantasy or sci-fi novel) fanfiction. Extra points for writing fanfiction.

Annette Renee White said...

I have a bucket list too! So far it has 158 goals on it, I am working my way to 1000. My favorites are 'Milk a Cow', 'Ride a Zipline', 'Dog Sled' and 'Make a Coloring Book'. But, I may have to steal a few from yours. You can see my list at www.mslistologist.com
Good Luck!

saskia said...

an addition:
-be able to answer a question on University Challenge
-speak a foreign language all day (sign language and fake languages are acceptable)
-watch every episode of doctor who. ever.

STuFF FiLMS said...

Hey there freaks and geeks. We think you should visit stufffilms.com before you die or just watch this video entitled NERDS DOING IT! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dk5jVbysZsg WE LOVE Comedy of the Sketchiest Level! Laterz

Anonymous said...

I watch Misfits and Simon, is the sexiest mofo and I want his power cause invisablity is probly the bes power you could get :) (besides immortality, of course) ;)

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Anonymous said...

Okay, so getting married on the Enterprise replica should be Number 1. Also, taking action figures out of their cases goes completely against the definition of nerd!

Corei said...

43. and 44. are COMPLETE!
Except for the fact that I did kind of freak out, hyperventilate, and burst into hysterical sobs.

Working on one of the suggestions in the comments (NaNoWriMo) and hoping that I complete my Novel this year...because last year I wasn't even close.

Unknown said...

@Trey: Already did 1-4 and number 8. And for number one I've done all 3 plus Blizzcon.