Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Dustin' off the ol' blog...

To all three of you who are still possibly checking on this blog from time to time, may I just say, you look lovely today? (Unless you're a guy. In which case, may I just say, you look lovely in a totally manly way today?)

I've missed you.

It's been a long, fairly miserable three months, about which the less said, the better. But now, the flowers are blooming, it stays light past the point where I fall asleep on the couch and my Detroit Tigers are getting ready to disappoint me again -- yes, it's spring, and what better time to start sitting indoors at my desk and blogging again?

So what will my return blog post be about? There's so much to choose from! You've got your casting of Chris "I Flex Therefore I Am" Evans as Captain America. You've got your Virgin Galactic completing a successful maiden voyage OF A SPACE SHIP! (I hear the salted nuts were out of this world. Hahahahahahaaa!) And you've got the Washington Post using the word "fracking" to explain Joe Biden's naughty open-miked slip-up today. With all of these important developments, certainly the words I'm about to type will be unmistakeably momentous!

But no, I'm just going to write about a Bill Paxton pinball machine.

Yes, you heard it right: some sainted soul, whose creativity should be cloned immediately and without delay (yes, those mean the same thing but redundancy and repetition are how I express my excitement and enthusiasm), has built a Bill Paxton-themed pinball machine. It looks like this:

And it plays like this:



Best of all, when the game is over, Bill Paxton shouts, "Game over, man!" from "Aliens, commemorating the single greatest performance ever committed to film by a man named Bill Paxton starring in a James Cameron production of a film featuring Sigourney Weaver that is not "Avatar."

Now, as many of you know, in a head-to-head match-up of acting incompetence and two-dimensional gesturing, I prefer the Pullman over the Paxton (see "Independence Day") but the pinball machine may be the thing that finally bounces Paxton into the lead. It's a well-deserved honor. May the great Paxton balls of pin never get wedged in that one unreachable spot where you have to pick up the machine and jiggle it until the damn thing breaks free. Amen!

41 comments:

beentsy said...

Man, I was so hoping it would say "You're stewed buttwad!" At our house we still refer to Bill Paxton as Chet for his amazing breakthrough role in Weird Science.

Welcome back!

Lisa said...

Yay! I'm glad you're back. My daily dose of RSS just wasn't the same without a Park Bench post!

StephaSteph said...

So glad you're back. You have been sorely missed.

The Modern Gal said...

What, no flying cows?

Welcome back! I'm sorry your past few months have not been ideal. I'm sure the Tigers will come through on disappointing you though.

Also, I am proof that there's more than three of us out here.

Faith said...

I'm so glad you're back!

Stacy said...

Lovely to see you back! And WOW on the Paxton Pinball. There are...no words. Fan-friggin'-tastic.

pern_dragon said...

Good thing I followed you on Twitter as well, since nothing showed up on the Livejournal RSS. So glad to see you back! :) And I giggled a lot at the thought of hearing "Game over, man!" as the last pinball sinks out of sight... :D

ummbrella said...

Yay, you're back! Also, best re-emergence post ever.

Erin said...

I'VE MISSED YOU!!!!!!!

Leah said...

Wooo! I've missed Park Bench. Stayyyyy! Stay forever!

ONE OF US. ONE OF US.

motorharp said...

Yay! You're back!

Jennifer said...

Yay!!! I was worried that my favorite blog would be gone for good. Thanks for coming back. It always makes my day brighter when I get to read one of your posts.

Michele said...

Welcome back!

Are you all geared up for the new season of Doctor Who?

FrauKatz said...

So glad you're back! :-D

CrazyCris said...

glad you're back! :o)

and looks like our VP has good TV taste! :p

Grete said...

Emerging from lurkdom to say hoorah!

Adam said...

The fact that you have returned is both awesome and fantastic.

In the time you've been away, I've become a huge Dr Who fan. I even got new glasses, and they look like David Tennant's (or as close as I could get)!

I've always been a fan of Bill Paxton wetting himself in True Lies and Arnold punching him in his imagination.

Lissy said...

you're still in my RSS! welcome back :)

Liz said...

Aw, man, you guys are so nice. I've missed you! Thank you so much for such a great welcome back.

Modern Gal, yes, the game would have been made even better with flying cows. I think that's the 11th rule of awesomeness actually -- thou shalt include flying cows.

Michele, I'm getting more and more enthused about the new season of Who every day. I think I might like this Smith fellow.

Adam, congrats on becoming a Who fan! It's a good thing. And thanks for cracking me up with a thought of Bill Paxton getting punched. Is it bad how much that makes me laugh?

Thanks again everyone! I've said it before, but I'll say it again: you're the best. :)

Amauriel said...

Yay! Welcome back!! I don't think I care WHAT you write about, as long as you are WRITING again!!

Made my day!

LaurieM said...

As someone who also has had sucky months... made suckier by not having your blog posts to chuckle over... WELCOME BACK!... and i think this means you have to come up with a trifecta of nerd men of the month, 'cause I miss them too...

Quilt Monkey said...

I'll join the list of happy blog readers. Glad you are back!!

Amy said...

So good to see you back!!!

Linda said...

So glad that you're back! I've been a lurker for a while, but while you were busy elsewhere I kept wondering things like "What Liz would say about John Barrowman on Desperate Housewives...?"

KrisB said...

Glad you're back!! :)

Cassandra said...

Oh yay! I just now realized this post was sitting in my feed reader. I'm glad you're back! =D

Jane said...

I hardly ever comment here, but I read avidly and this is one of my favourite blogs, so I just wanted to say I'm delighted to see you back!

Shelagh said...

Glad to see you're back!

Jen said...

First - woo hoo... you're posting again!

Second - I agree w/Beentsy "You're Stewed Buttwad" would have been better. Then again quoting Weird Science is nearly a daily thing in my house so...

Maxwell said...

Welcome back!

aramblingfancy said...

YAY! You are back! I missed you.

Smee said...

I am so glad to see that I am not the only one to miss this blog while you were gone. I'd peek in at least every other day. I filled the time waiting by finally watching all of "Torchwood" and I'm hooked now.

Welcome back!

ShinyKate said...

It's so lovely to have you back!!!

Kathe said...

WELCOME BACK! YAY!

Kristina said...

Just wanted to say I'm glad you're back. I've never commented before, but read your blog regularly. I've missed my geeky updates. Since the Tennant finale and any other good sci-fi having ended, I'm lurking tv boards less, so I'm counting on you to keep me informed.

Rolo said...

Glad you are back!

Heto said...

Have faith in the Tigers! This could be their year! I watched the replay of the game on Thursday and the boys looked looked pretty good.

Liz said...

Heto, are you a Tigers fan too? I secretly think they'll do pretty well this year, too, but I'm afraid to jinx them. My fingers are firmly crossed though... :)

Heto said...

Yes, I am a Tigers fan! And I know about the jinxing thing because I feel the same way. I want to cheer loud and proud, but I feel like if I draw too much attention to them, they'll choke!

Ally said...

Yay! Glad you're back! :)

Joanna said...

Glad your back! I'm missed my (almost) daily dose of Nerd Chick blogging.