Nerd Man of the Month: Hugh Laurie

At first blush, Hugh Laurie may not seem like an obvious choice for Nerd Man of the Month, what with him being a network TV superstar for playing a misanthropic, drug-abusing doctor on FOX's "House." Upon closer examination, however, the man fits four very important criteria that I've just now made up: he's very, very smart; he's a comedy icon; he's written a novel; and he's English. That's pretty much what it takes to earn the honor these days...and by "these days," I mean, of course, November. Well done, Hugh!

First, let's take a look at that "smart" category. The fellow earned a degree from Cambridge University and studied archaeology and anthropology while having the very good sense to date classmate Emma Thompson, who, as we all know, should have her own wing in the Museum of Awesome Women. (A quick aside: Emma Thompson is the best realistic cryer in movies. Ever.) Oh, and let's talk about that whole "writing a novel" thing -- called "The Gun Seller," it was a spoof of the thriller genre and you know what? It was really good. Couple that with his genuine musical talent and it appears we might have a Renaissance Man on our hands.

And boy oh boy, Hugh Laurie is ridiculously funny. I was a huge fan of Fry and Laurie growing up, and fell in love with their sketch comedy show. Check out this bit featuring a man with a very unusual last name:



Then there was "Blackadder" with Rowan Atkinson. Laurie is hysterically funny as the sunny-natured by irredeemably stupid Prince George. A kind-hearted person has compiled a few fine Prince George moments below:



And then we had the marvelous "Jeeves and Wooster" series, based on the P.G. Wodehouse novels. (And in no way was my choice of Laurie swayed this month by the fact that I've been reading Wodehouse. No way. Uh-uh. Maybe a little.) Laurie played the wonderfully wide-eyed and chronically ridiculous Bertie Wooster, a fellow who would be lost without his faithful manservant Jeeves.

Along the way, there have been other terrific roles in "Sense and Sensibility," "Stuart Little" and oh yes, that "House" program in which he is simply riveting, giving a performance week after week that is so good, it makes you forgive and forget some of the weaknesses of the show itself. He's like the Superman of that series, propping up awkward storylines in a single charismatic bound.

So, for being smart, funny, literate and English, The Park Bench is pleased to name Hugh Laurie as Nerd Man of the Month for November.

A golden age of hot British actors?

Ladies, it's time to slap on the water wings and adjust the snorkel because we're diving into the shallow end of the pool today. Gentlemen, you may wish to avert your eyes or pick up your Maxim because there's going to be talk of sexy men shortly...and it's not going to be pretty.

Data has been piling up lately. You've seen it on your televisions and in your movie theaters and tucked away in the pages of your People magazines and US Weeklies. The question is out there, just waiting to be answered. And I believe we're the ones best qualified to tackle this difficult subject:

Are British male actors getting hotter or is my eyesight just getting better?

Let's look at the evidence chronologically. In the 1930s and 1940s, we had Cary Grant, the standard bearer of British male pulchritude:

In the 1960s, we had Sean Connery and Michael Caine -- and let's face it, the standards got a little bit lower:


In the 1980s, we started doing a bit better with Julian Sands:

Things started rolling nicely in the 1990s with the likes of Hugh Grant and Liam Neeson:


And then, holy hell, the new millennium dawns, the dam of British hotness breaks and suddenly they're everywhere! There's Daniel Craig...

and Orlando Bloom...

and Gerard Butler...

and Henry Ian Cusick...

and David Tennent...

And dozens more. Besides the actors, even that old "unattractive inbred royalty" thing has been busted:

In fact, hot British men have become so ubiquitous, we even have them filling in as hot American men. To wit, there's him:

...and him

...and him

Ladies, this is but a small sampling -- and I'm not even bringing Australians into the equation!* I'm no kind of scientist, but I'd say the facts -- and the photographic evidence -- speak for themselves.

What do you think? Are we in the Golden Age of Hot British Actors? And if so, what did we do to deserve this and can we do it again, please?

* ETA: Except I did, just there, with Simon Baker who I totally didn't realize was Australian. Oops. He's too cute to dock from the list though....

Great Moments in World History...TV style

Let's face it. Most of us learned everything we know about history from watching TV. Here's a recap of what we know so far:

When dinosaurs ruled the Earth...they were made of polystyrene foam and set human evolution back millions of years by not eating these creepy kids:


Born in Arizona, moved to Babylonia, the Egyptian people were actually cerebral, banjo playing stand-up comedians whose agents built the pyramids between cell phone calls.


While Shakespeare was getting all couplet-y with the sonnets and legendary with the plays, the powerful, hosiery-clad calves of Hugh Laurie and Rowan Atkinson were making him look like a soft old hack. Loser.


Fort Sumter, huh? Someone put Baby in a corner...and that someone was Abraham Lincoln. Patrick Swayze uses the Civil War and Dukes of Hazard fonts on his miniseries poster to fight back. Death, destruction and dirty dancing ensue.


The Great Depression? Not so depressing. Not with all those Waltons and all that goodnighting of the John Boy.


Except for the death, destruction and nuclear fallout, World War II turned out to be a merry romp led by pornography-loving Hogan, his heroes and that dim-witted Schultz, the nicest faux Nazi since Captain Von Trapp.


And the future's looking bright. Because it will be populated by apes with a penchant for lawn design, including an especially thoughtful placement of Miss Liberty.


Don't worry. Martha Stewart will save us. Or at least the well-dressed, organized people.