Friday Oods & Ands: a Simpsons character of your own, awesome Nathan, cylons on CBS and candy!

+ Now's your chance to put those TV watching skills to good use! FOX has launched a new contest inviting fans to create a new "Simpsons" character who will appear on the show. More details will hopefully be available soon at thesimpsons.com website, although there's nothing there right now that I could find. Then again, I am very old and bright colors scare me so I may have missed it.

+ In other generally awesome news, if you haven't seen Nathan Fillion's Halloween costume yet for "Castle," check out this link. Some may consider it a spoiler (like my husband did) but I just think it's cute. Nathan surely knows how to please his fans. (Thanks, AJ, for the link!)

+ Even former Cylons need paychecks: BSG's Tricia Helfer will be guest starring on the greatest comedy ever produced by humankind! That's right -- "Two and a Half Men." Oh, Tricia.

+ Did you know that Bram Stoker's great-grandnephew has written a sequel to "Dracula?" Neither did I. It's called "The Un-Dead" and picks up 25 years after the original novel's ending. USA Today seems to think it's pretty good. Then again, they sometimes have an entire section devoted to NASCAR so...

+ With Halloween on the horizon, here's a list of the 10 Best Halloween Candies of All-Time. (Thanks to my pal Mary for the link!) I've gotta agree with their choice of Hershey's Krackel at number one. What do you think? What's your favorite Halloween treat?

Five reasons to love ABC's "Castle"

I'm full-on smitten with this kooky little show about a successful mystery novelist and his forays into crime fighting. Here's why you should be too:

Reason #1: Nathan Fillion
Nathan Fillion's charm is like fly paper or the Death Star tractor beam: once you get caught in its grasp, there is simply no escape. Everyone's favorite Canadian (sorry, Lorne Greene) shines as Rick Castle, making what could be an arrogant character into someone whose confidence is mixed with just the right amount of vulnerability and kindness to keep him lovable and interesting. Fillion's great with co-star Stana Katic, who plays police detective Kate Beckett, but he's even better in the scenes that focus on Castle's family, especially his sweet, smart teenage daughter, who provides the perfect calm foil to Castle's mania. The two are so good together, I would watch the show just for their interactions. But really, Fillion's just great, period.

The best father-daughter duo on television.

Reason #2: The show keeps getting better.
While I've enjoyed "Castle" since its debut, the early going for this show was pretty rocky and sometimes made my want to hide my brain under the couch cushions. The mysteries, which are kind of important for a detective show, were beyond simplistic, forcing the characters to look like idiots in order to draw the simplistic mysteries out. Whole teams of chubby Clydesdales could have trotted through those plot holes. But then something miraculous happened toward the end of season 1: plots started to make sense. There was actual tension and suspense. I kept checking the channel guide to make sure I was watching the right show. And not only did the plots start making more sense, all of the character interactions became more natural, the action propelled the show and holy cow, by season's end, "Castle" was a real, live detective show. Judging by the first episode of the new season, the writing has gotten even stronger. Kudos to the writers and producers for not sliding by with mediocre but actually striving for good.

Reason #3: It's really funny.
And not unintentionally funny like when David Caruso squints on "CSI: Miami." Nope, "Castle" reminds me of what "The X-Files" used to do so well: toss out unexpectedly hilarious lines from left field, like Castle's whole riff on a film adaptation of the video game "Asteroids" and how he thinks it'll be okay because they've gotten Ryan Reynolds to play the little green triangle and "he's really good." Or the weird situational comedy that Fillion plays so well:



Reason #4: The supporting cast is actually pretty awesome.
In particular, Jon Huertas as Detective Esposito and Seamus Dever as Detective Ryan. They're like they're own little Greek chorus, just chiming in with funny asides or wry commentary as Castle and Beckett argue or some other absurdity takes place. The show wouldn't be the same without them.

Reason #5: The show doesn't take itself too seriously.
"Castle" is never going to be "Mad Men" or "The Sopranos" or some other pinnacle of artistic achievement, and that's a good thing. We all need a balanced TV diet of weighty stuff like "The Wire" and fun fluffy stuff like "Castle." The show is just a goofy amalgam of everything from "Moonlighting" to "Murder, She Wrote," and it knows it. It's only aim is make you forget your troubles for an hour each week and enjoy a bit of mystery, romance and humor...and Nathan Fillion looking good in suits. What more could you ask for on a Monday night?

Thursday Odds & Ends: "Avatar" trailer, "Yellow Submarine," "District 9" and Rick Springfield's impending defeat at the hands of Nathan Fillion

+ The Internet has gone crazy in the last hour or so over the release of James Cameron's "Avatar" trailer. In order to embed it here, I would have had to mess with a bit of code and that wouldn't be right with something that looks as beautiful as it does. So, because I love you, I'm suggesting you go here to see it or to the Apple site where you can see it in HD if you can load it, which I couldn't but you probably have better karma points than me, so I'm sure it'll be fine. Either way, though, you've got to see this thing because it's very, very pretty.

+ Let's file this under things that make me crazy, shall we? Director Robert Zemeckis (of "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" and "Back to the Future" fame) will apparently be doing a 3-D remake of The Beatles' classic "Yellow Submarine." Why? Because people can't leave well enough alone! Seriously, the day they announce the "Gone with the Wind" remake starring Lindsey Lohan and Ryan Reynolds is the day I start mainlining Xanax directly into my bloodstream.

+ Io9 has their list of 5 Things You Didn't Know About "District 9" which is pretty interesting. Item #6, by the way? Instead of sunblock, all of the aliens were coated in a light butter sauce and equipped with a side of cheesy biscuits. True story.

+ I may be the only person in the world who likes this show, but I'm still happy to report that SyFy's "Warehouse 13" has been renewed for a second 13-episode season. And I don't only watch it because I think Eddie McClintock is funny in an endearingly juvenile way. There's usually some sort of plot, too...and gadgets...and somethin'....Okay, fine, I watch it because I find Eddie McClintock funny in an endearingly juvenile way.

+ Hey all you British people, don't forget there's a "Doctor Who" special on BBC 3 tonight at 8 p.m. Called "Doctor Who - Greatest Moments," it includes interviews with cast and crew and highlights, well, some of the Doctor's greatest moments. I hope they include David Tennant's season 2 hair as a greatest moment. I think I have it listed at #3 in my diary, right after the invention of oxygen and the cut of Han Solo's pants in "Star Wars."

+ Speaking of space cowboys in tight pants -- and let's face it, when aren't we? -- if you have a moment, why not vote for Nathan Fillion as Mr. Twitter over at the Twitter Wall site? Based on his frequent tweets on the subject, Mr. Fillion seems to have an irrational fear of losing to Rick Springfield. And as a fan of both sci-fi and Canadians, I don't think we can let that happen to the man.

+ And finally, the next time you're in Minneapolis, be sure to stop in and check out Donny Dirk's Zombie Den and then tell me all about it. Why? Because not only does this bar have alcohol, which is GREAT, they're also totally prepared for the zombie apocalypse and have armed themselves with a glass-encased chain saw. I'll give them an extra ten points if they carry Twiglets and once starred in "Spaced."

+ ETA: I almost forgot this item! The sci-fi universes are mingling again: "Star Trek: The Next Generation" alumnus Jonathan Frakes is directing an upcoming episode of "Dollhouse," according to the show's costumer. She has photographic proof! Thanks to Park Bench reader Adam for the tip!

Odds and Ends: TV renewals galore, the Martha Stewart of Star Trek interiors, 19th-century robots and Tracy Jordan

+ The verdicts came in on a whole bunch of nerd-favorite TV shows this week and, well, there's good news and there's bad news. But mostly, good news! Going against fate and all things holy, "Dollhouse" actually got renewed for a full second season. Of course, it'll still be trapped on Friday nights but goodness, who among us really thought FOX would renew a Whedon show in our lifetimes? Now I know how people felt when we went to the Moon for the first time. In other good news, "Castle" got renewed as well, prompting Nathan Fillion to tweet, "I can't remember the last time I had a second season of ANYTHING. I don't know if I remember what to do. Step one: go to Canada. Relax." Step Two? "See Star Trek a second time." In other news, "Bones" got renewed for two seasons and "The Big Bang Theory" will return next year as well -- not a shock there! And now for the bad news, "The Sarah Connor Chronicles" got canceled. I didn't really watch the show, but the absence of robots from the TV screen is a loss any way you look at it.

+ This man in Leicestershire, England has turned his flat into a dead-on replica of the "Star Trek: Next Generation" Enterprise. The newscaster sounds shocked that it cost him four thousand pounds -- given the detail, I'm astonished it cost that little.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

+ io9 has an interesting item about William Douglas O'Connor, friend of Walt Whitman and apparently the author of the first "robot revolution" story. Called "The Brazen Android," it revolves around the creation of an omniscient brass head. The story, which was started in 1857, is available in its entirety as an audio book here.

+ And finally, to brighten your day, a list of everything Tracey Jordan has said this season on "30 Rock." My personal favorite? “I watched Boston Legal 9 times before I realized it wasn’t a new Star Trek.” Hee.

Odds and Ends

• You HAVE to check out this tour of the 3,600 square foot tri-level library of Priceline founder Jay Walker. It includes a Sputnik satellite (yes, THE Sputnik), a book bound in rubies, a napkin that FDR used to outline his plan to win World War II. This place is amazing:

• The deleted scenes from Season 4.0 of "Battlestar" have hit the internets. They answer a few interesting questions, like where the hell did HeadSix go and what's up with Boomer and Creepy Cavil.

• Leave it to James Gunn to create PG-rated porn...starring Nathan Fillion.The first episode, called "Nailing Your Wife," is funny in a really, really sick way -- just like every other thing James Gunn has ever done. This might be mildly unsafe for work if your employer doesn't like bad double entendres and synthesizers.
  

• And if you need more Nathan -- and let's face it, who doesn't? -- here's a preview of his upcoming ABC series, "Castle." Here's hoping it doesn't get canceled before it airs. C'mon, network television, give Nathan a chance to be awesomely Canadian on something other than DVD:

• Mark your calendars now: Oct. 26 is World Zombie Day. Go here to check and see if your city is hosting a Zombie Walk for charity. Also food drives...hopefully not with brains and such. Ew. I mean, aaaarrrrgghhhh.

• And finally, if you haven't voted for The Park Bench in the Blogger's Choice Awards, there's still time. Just 50 votes could get us into the top 15! In the immortal words of that creepy U.S. Olympic gymnastics coach Bela Karoly, "We can do it!" A huge thank you to those of you who've already cast your ballots.
  

News of the Day -- Friday, May 2

+ Okay, this has nothing to do with nerdiness, but it still cracked me up and I have to share. A man in Texas tried to cash a personal check...for $360 billion dollars. "(The man) said his girlfriend's mother gave him the check to start a record business." And buy a small country presumably.

+ I've been derilect in my Captain Tightpants reportage. Nathan Fillion has signed on to a new ABC pilot called "Castle." He'll play "a mystery novelist who consults with the NYPD on difficult cases," writes Zap2It.

+ And don't forget, tomorrow is Free Comic Book Day. Check out the link to find participating stores...and maybe bring a U-Haul.

+ Speaking of great literature, Vladimir Nabokov's last manuscript -- an unfinished novel called The Original of Laura -- will finally be published, against his dying wishes. Vladimir's son Dmitri says the author was working on the novel until nearly the last few moments before he died, and only wanted the manuscript destroyed because he hadn't been able to complete it. I'm glad this is being published. More Nabokov can only make the world a better place.

Nerd Man of the Month: Nathan Fillion

This past week, People Magazine -- also known as The Big Book of Pictures -- named Matt Damon its annual Sexiest Man Alive. Far more important, however, was the ranking on page 144 wherein they included Nathan Fillion in their "Domestic Bliss" section, which was nestled between their Men in Sexy Places section and their Sexy and Shirtless section, neither of which I looked through seven or eight times.

There are two significant facts you should know about Nathan's inclusion in the "Domestic Bliss" section. One, he gave the best quote in the whole magazine: "There are black widow spiders in my backyard, coyotes walking down the streets, killer bees, rattlesnakes -- there's so much around L.A. that'll kill you!" And second, his glamor shot was one of the worst Photoshopped images I've ever seen. Don't the editors of People Magazine know the cardinal rule? You don't Photoshop Nathan Fillion's face. In fact, I'm fairly certain that was one of the original Ten Commandments: When thine Canadian Nathan Fillion appears unto you, thou shalt not ruin his prettiness with thine Erase tool.* Right?

In order to defray the sadness of the poorly Photoshopped Nathan, The Park Bench is naming him its November Nerd Man of the Month. We have bestowed this honor upon him for other significant reasons as well including the fact that:

He can fly a space ship. How cool is that?


Okay, he might not actually know how to fly a space ship, but I bet he knows people who can.

Also, he's a terrific, under-appreciated actor who shines in anything he does, from his days as Captain Mal in "Firefly" to his appearances in "Lost" and "Buffy" to his role as a sweet, confused and sympathetic ob/gyn in "Waitress" to his role as a sweet, confused and sympathetic ob/gyn in "Desperate Housewives" (I'm sensing a pattern here) to his hilarious yet heroic turn (he battled a deranged deer!!) as Bill Pardy in "SLiTHER."


And most important of all, the man's damn funny. Just check out his three faces of soap opera acting:



For all this and yes, for his ability to wear tight pants, we bestow our shallow Park Bench love on Nathan Fillion and welcome him to the Nerd Man pantheon.

*The rule was amended years later to read: Thou shalt not Photoshop Nathan Fillion unless it's to make it look like he was your date at the senior prom. As the Pope said at the time, "That's just common sense."

Movie Review: Waitress

I’m a woman who likes pies. I’m just going to lay that right out there for you. Toby is my favorite character on The West Wing because he likes pies. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because the pilgrims invented pie. The moon is my favorite astronomical body because – and only because – of the existence of The Moon Pie.

It’s no surprise then that I loved Waitress, a film about a woman, Jenna, with a talent for making spectacular pies. She has other narratively interesting characteristics as well: she hates her suffocating husband and plans to leave him just as soon as she wins a pie baking contest. Jenna, played by Keri Russell, also has just found out she’s pregnant and soon launches into an affair with her obstetrician (Nathan Fillion). Also, as the title suggests, she’s a waitress. She works in a diner alongside her two best friends, played by Cheryl Hines and Adrienne Shelly, the late actress who starred in many a Hal Hartley film and who wrote and directed “Waitress.” Rounding out the cast is Andy Griffith, who plays the faux curmudgeon who owns the place.

You can tell right from the start that Shelly was a disciple of Hartley, the indie film god who gave us Trust, Amateur and Simple Men. Her characters have that same studied quirkiness and affinity for flat, funny dialogue. With this film, though, I think she outdoes Hartley. Where his movies can sometime be too clever and come off emotionally hollow, Shelly builds her humor from the characters themselves so it all feels natural. These people are truly unusual, but believably so and that’s what makes them so completely endearing.

Keri Russell is wonderful as Jenna, a character who is so deeply, soul-crushingly unhappy but who still manages to be patient and caring, if not a little cranky, to nearly everyone else around her. Who knew Russell could be so good? After seeing her work in this movie, I hereby pledge to never make another Felicity joke again.

Shelly and Hines are very good, too, bouncing off each other like a small Greek chorus, chirping their dialogue in clipped Southern accents that belie their own sadnesses. Andy Griffith does a nice, quiet job with his character, an older man who dispenses advice to Jenna each morning in the diner. I will admit, when he leaves her a note addressed to “my only friend,” I got a little choked up.

And finally, here I am with the Nathan love. As many critics have said, why this man isn’t a bigger star is utterly baffling. I mean, Nathan’s character is two-timing his wife with a pregnant married woman and all you can think is, “he’s so sweet.” He brings pure goodness to a character who, in the wrong hands, could have been seen by the audience as being perched on a slippery moral slope yet he pulls it off without a hitch.

Also, in my head, I really, really need to stop thinking of the poor man as Captain Tightpants.

So here’s my recommendation for the weekend: go have some pie and if you can, go see Waitress. And then have some more pie. It’s what the pilgrims would have wanted.

Friday Tidbits

HEY EVERYONE, WE'RE FAMOUS!
A big thank you to Bethany Lee for writing a nice entry on The Park Bench at Atomictown.com. Check it out if you have a chance.

WHAT WOULD TOLSTOY DO?
He'd be writing some hot love between Jean-Luc Picard and Dr. Crusher, that's for sure. And now you can too, thanks to a new Star Trek contest hosted by Wil Wheaton and George Takei. Get out your laser quill and help pen a few new tales involving Picard and that other space stud Captain James T. Kirk. You could even win a prize! Here's hoping it's Shatner's kidney stone!

HOW WILL WE MOCK THEM IF WE NEVER SEE THEM?
Premiere Magazine's got a list of Top 20 Movies Not Coming Soon to a Theater Near You. Sadly, the list includes The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, an adaptation I've been looking forward to for years.

BUTCH AND SUNDANCE, LUKE AND YODA, NATHAN AND JAMES...
From IESB.net, a short, funny interview with swanky duo Nathan Fillion and James Gunn talking about Nathan's fame and oddly enough, The Green Lantern. I'm sorry I can't post the video directly because if I did, four hundred beefy attorneys would descend upon my humble home. Or at least that's what the scary warning label said. To make up for it, I give you this picture of Nathan from Gunn's My Space blog, which is one of the funniest, most crass and profane blogs you'll ever read.


Of course, now that I've posted that Fillion picture, Gunn's own litigious legion of doom will come after me, calling me names and forcing me to watch Slither...

Friday Wrap-Up

Just a few items to start us off this Friday morning...

It was an honor for me just to be nominated by me
In a stunning act of humility and class, The Park Bench has nominated itself for The Best Blog of All Time award at the Blogger's Choice Award. I encourage you to vote early, vote often and try to get every dead Chicagoan you know to vote, too. With any luck, it'll be Shakespeare in Love versus Saving Private Ryan all over again.

FOX television, you make me sad.
Why, Fox, why? First you kill Tony Almeda off 24 and now you're going to deprive me of Drive? What do you people have against Nathan Fillion? Is it because he looks so much better in your pants? Is it because he's Canadian? The only consolation is that now you can take your Fillion action figure (you know, the one you carved by hand) and act out the rest of the episodes, thanks to producer Tim Minear posting scripts on his website.

You just can't spell Ikea
If you've ever been sitting on your couch and thought to yourself, "Now would be an ideal time to spell 'quotidian' and get a triple word score," help has arrived. This company is offering Scrabble tile pillows. They are awesome and look like this:


Mr. Ed's Bloody Rampage
According to Yahoo news, witnesses say they heard a cry of "Wiiilllburrr" before turning to find Mr. Ed wielding a bloody hoof and standing proud over the lifeless body of this portly German man. He then stole the guy's wallet and bought himself a bag of Nutter Butters. Okay, not really. Some drunk guy just left his horse in an ATM lobby while he slept one off. But wouldn't it have been better the other way?


A couple of late additions...
* Honorary Park Bench Chairnerd Tina Fey blogged last night on NBC after the season finale of 30 Rock, which was wonderful as usual. Read what she has to say about lobster and Dr. Spaceman here.

*Park Bench reader Brodie has a funny list of Country Music Songs for Nerds over at his site, capnwacky.com. My personal favorite is The Wreck of the Commodore 64. Gordon Lightfoot is kicking himself for not thinking of that first....

Cap'n Tightpants goes vroom

Dear gods of network television, please put Nathan Fillion on my TV screen every week forever and ever and ever, especially if it’s in something as good as Fox’s Drive, which debuted in a two-hour long hail of nerd bliss last night. Produced by Ben Queen and dork god Tim Minear, whose past credits include X-Files, Buffy, Angel, Firefly and Wonderfalls, this show’s pedigree promised good things and so far it's exceeded expectations with its frenetic energy and humor.

Part Cannonball Run (sadly sans Menudo soundtrack), part It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World and part Lost, the show follows a group of people on a cross-country road race in search of a $32 million payoff. Some of the competitors have been coerced into competition, like Fillion’s Tully who is searching for his kidnapped wife (played by Angel’s Amy Acker) and mother Wendy whose newborn son apparently is being held hostage. Others, like a father and daughter team and an Iraq War veteran and his wife, seem to be racing just for the cash…and, of course, valuable life lessons. The cast is almost uniformly appealing, especially Fillion who is years overdue for superstardom. His pants, however, should be tighter. I’m just sayin’. Melanie Lynskey, who plays mom Wendy, is also terrific, despite freaking me out by looking way too much like Marisa Tomei.

The show’s only flaw rests in its attempts to be a bit too Lost-y for its own good. The premise is goofy enough without trying to make things too convoluted, making me wish for more racing and less plot. Then again, I am kind of a simpleton. For right now, though, I’m totally onboard for Drive. If you haven’t seen it yet, check out episode three tonight on Fox, starting at 8 EST.