Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Did someone say bad prose? I'm all over that.

Ah, I love the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest -- yup, the contest devoted to terrible first lines and inspired by that golden oldie, "It was a dark and stormy night." The winners have been announced and here are a few favorites:

"Like a mechanic who forgets to wipe his hands on a shop rag and then goes home, hugs his wife, and gets a grease stain on her favorite sweater - love touches you, and marks you forever." By Beth Fand Incollingo

"'Toads of glory, slugs of joy,' sang Groin the dwarf as he trotted jovially down the path before a great dragon ate him because the author knew that this story was a train wreck after he typed the first few words." By Alex Hall

And my personal favorite:
"'Die, commie pigs!' grunted Sergeant "Rocky" Steele through his cigar stub as he machine-gunned the North Korean farm animals." By Dave Ranson

Check out the rest of the winners here.

2 comments:

Miss Grace said...

That made my morning. Thanks!

mandyannemurray said...

I found this today and it made me think of these awards.

http://help.com/post/124066-funny-metaphors-used-in-high-school

Unfortunately, these were actually used in writing, not meant to be farcical.

-Mandy