Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Other Things That Enrage Christian Bale

"Grrr, I'm angry!"

  • Nipple chafing
  • Disrespectful unicorns
  • Having to do all his own breathing
  • Soft cheeses
  • Any living creature that moves within his line of sight EVER including but not limited to Baby Jesus
  • The way the sun is sometimes all the way on the other side of the planet and unable to shine on him
  • Wiping his bottom with a soft yet unwilling argyle rabbit each morning
  • How his secret identity – Captain Bulging Asshat – has been blown
  • The fact that he’s actually taking a Terminator movie seriously
  • The fact that he’s actually taking a Terminator movie directed by McG seriously
  • The adorable nature of kittens, those unprofessional little fucks
Any I've missed?


Anonymous said...

Hey, now... what what you say about McG!

lgaumond said...

Too funny. Who doesn't get enraged by disrespectful unicorns, really?

not_the_droid said...

Don't forget "Newsies." ^_~

Liz said...

Oh man, "Newsies" must infuriate him!

And Liz, I'm sorry about dissing McG but I can't ever forgive him for Charlie's Angels. It just hurt too much.

agent57 said...

("liz" was me, forgetting to sign out of the fake name account I use for trolling Craigslist again. [Yes, I know, I'm crazy for using "liz" as a fake name, and yet considering "agent57" to be a real one.)

I really haven't paid attention to McG in the past, to be honest... but he's related to this little thing called Supernatural. And... well.

And I just read that he's originally from Michigan. I kind of have a soft spot for that kind of thing. (I'm looking at you, Bruce Campbell and Jeff Daniels.)

Oh, but it looks like he's done some music videos for terrible bands. Actually, I'm gonna have to get back to you on this one.

Black Eyed Gurl said...

This post is so made of awesome I want to print it and post it in my apartment. This post is full of win.

Not just Newsies, but his other fabulous Disney musical Swing Kids!

crone51 said...

frakkin' unicorns.

I share his pain.

setagel said...


No seriously, unwilling angora rabbits really *do* chap your bottom. They make nice creams for that kind of rash, Mr. Bale.

onepinkshoe said...

"soft yet unwilling argyle rabbit"... lol! This list is awesome,but we are so done professionally.

RedCochina said...

Thank you for one of your best lists EVER. Baby Jesus. I cried from laughing so hard.

Kathe said...

Ok - so I FINALLY heard the rant of Mr. Bale's and I gotta say, yeah totally over the top, but DAMN was it funny! I don't think he's an Asshat, but dude - go have some Chamomile and relax!

Anonymous said...

"Any I've missed?"

Michael Phelps won't share his bong. ; )

Bakerloo said...

Have you heard the freakout dance mix? It's actually really great.

Marie said...