Odds and Ends

Hello everyone! For the Americans, hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving! For everyone else, hope you had a lovely Wednesday through Tuesday. Personally, I'm just now recovering from having eaten enough pumpkin pie to choke a very chunky horse -- and it was spectacular! And now on to the news at hand:

+ Not to suggest that "House" is formulaic or anything*, but Cracked had a great item on "How to Write Your Own 'House' Episode" and yes, it does include the always-popular furrowed-brow moment.

+ Speaking of formulas that are good in spite of themselves, there's a new preview of "24" out which includes a glimpse of an old friend and also moments of Jack Bauer neither whispering nor shouting but instead making a grammatical error. It's pretty much everything you'd expect from "24." The new season debuts on Jan. 12...and I really, really want to make a cougar joke right now but will show maturity and restrain myself. Or maybe not: Cougar!

+ The DVD of "The X-Files: I Want to Believe" comes out today and features more than three hours of extras including deleted scenes, gag reel, full-length documentary and audio commentary by Frank Spotnitz and Chris Carter, which better include a personal apology for disappointing the hell out of me with this movie. A movie which I will nonetheless buy because X-Files owns me and I am a sad, sad person.

+ "Battlestar Galactica" webisodes debut on Dec. 12 and I'm giddy as a school girl! Two episodes will be posted per week for five weeks, leading up to BSG's Jan. 16 season premiere. Even more awesome, the webisodes were written by Jane Espenson and Seamus Kevin Fahey, staffers who penned some of last year's best episodes. And in other way awesome BSG news, "Caprica" has finally been greenlit as a series for Sci-Fi. Now I'm beyond giddy and verging on delirious. I need pie to celebrate!

+ Have I mentioned I love the internets? Today on Twitter I was following the back and forth between Wil Wheaton and Greg Grunberg of "Heroes" as they exchanged compliments and eventually concocted the idea of Wheaton appearing in an upcoming episode of the NBC series. And now io9 has to go and be dicks about the whole thing and semi-mock Wheaton with a poll on what sort of superpower he should have when he joins the superhero league. I don't see how you can run a site like io9 and mock Wil Wheaton. It seems positively unpatriotic. (However, if he were to have a superpower, I would vote for gills. How cool would that be?)

+ Park Bench reader Crone51 sent in this great musical tribute to smart women by singer-songwriter Richard Thompson. "I want a woman from Mensa with a furrowed brow..." It's wonderful. Enjoy:



+ I got an e-mail recently announcing the debut of a new website called Book View Cafe (www.bookviewcafe.com) that offers new and unpublished literature by authors such as Ursula K. Le Guin, Vonda McIntyre and Laura Ann Gilman, all for free. Writers also will be offering extended versions of their work and other goodies for a small fee. Looks like an interesting experiment in publishing....

* But it is.

Wheaton makes me love him even more...

I don't quote other blogs too often. Probably because of my chronic self-absorption. (I jest.) Whatever the reason, though, I'm quoting now from Wil Wheaton's blog, which is one of my favorite daily stops. I enjoy his writing in general, but I absolutely love this post about his experience at Comic-Con. It's a great view "from the other side" and totally makes me feel better about my fear of fainting like a goat in front of Mary McDonnell:

in which i fail a vital saving throw

It was the end of the day, and my blood sugar was dangerously low. Colors and sounds were louder than they should have been. My feet and legs had been replaced by two dull, throbbing stumps that barely supported the weight of my body.

Most of the day, I'd been signing autographs for and talking with countless excited fans. Some of them shook my hand too hard and too long with a sweaty grip that trembled a little too much. Some of them stared at me uncomfortably. Some of them rambled incoherently. All of them were genuinely friendly, though.

I took it all in stride, because I've done this convention thing for -- my god -- two decades, and even though I don't think I'm anything worth getting excited about, I know that it happens sometimes, and I know how people occasionally react. I never laugh at them or make them feel lame. I never make jokes at their expense. I am understanding and grateful that they want to talk to me at all. I wouldn't want to talk to me if I was trapped with me in an elevator, and I certainly wouldn't be excited about the prospect if faced with the option. I am always grateful, and take nothing for granted.

A voice boomed over my head, blasting right through my eardrums and exploding inside my skull. The convention floor was closing, it announced, and it was time for all of us to get the fuck out.

Red-jacketed security guards emerged from shadows I hadn't noticed during the day. A handful at first, then a dozen, like zombies pouring through a breach in a barricade. They shambled forward relentlessly, single-mindedly driving a mass of exhibitors and straggling fans toward the doors.

I picked up my backpack, inexplicably heavier than it was before I emptied pounds of books from it earlier in the day, and heaved it onto my shoulders. My back screamed.

"You have to vacate the hall," a girl said to me. She couldn't have been older than eighteen, but clearly wasn't going to take any shit from anyone, especially someone in my weakened state.

"I'm on my way," I said. I turned to say goodbye to my boothmates, and saw the unmistakable visage of Jeph Jacques walk past behind them.

Continue reading here....

It's just that kind of day.

(It would help if you could read the following post while imaging mellow, jangly piano music playing in the background. Thanks.)

I don’t know – maybe it’s the rain. Maybe it’s the melancholy or the fact that I’m thinking of having cheese for lunch. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m wearing synthetic fibers. Whatever the reason, today is the kind of day when I’m thinkin’ ‘bout Shatner.

I’m thinkin’ there’s a lot to love about this particular Canadian…and no, that’s not a fat joke. Those will come later. Be patient. I’m thinkin’ here’s a man who loves himself a lot and if he loves himself a lot, then who are we to question that wisdom? After all, William Shatner knows William Shatner better than anyone and maybe we should all settle down and not fight the Shatner love anymore. I’m cool with that.

And speaking of cool, I’m thinkin’ he’s pretty cool to pimp himself for Priceline, too. Because not only is he entertaining me with his kung fu moves every night on TV, he’s probably also getting a sweet deal on rooms and rental cars. It makes good career sense and best of all, it makes good financial sense. He’s a smart Canadian.

I’m thinkin’ no one else could have played Captain Kirk – and ultimately come to believe he was Captain Kirk – quite the way Shatner did. If you haven’t read his autobiography, you really should. Immediately. I’ll wait….

Are you done? Did you enjoy it? Was your favorite part the part where he believed he could fight some guy because he was pretty sure that he, William Shatner, had Kirk’s smooth moves and would win, just like Kirk? But then he didn’t because he’s not a fictional character and wasn’t carrying a stunt coordinator with him that day. Yeah, that was a good chapter.

I’m thinkin’, too, of the time he tried to humiliate a teenage Wil Wheaton which Wheaton describes beautifully here. I’m thinkin’ I don’t like Shatner so much when he does that but I do like laughing at the story, in which he tells the young, newly minted Star Trek:TNG cast member that “he would never let a child on the bridge of his ship.” Again with the reality not being such a good friend of The Shat Man.

And I’m thinkin’ that as much as I mock Shatner and point at his girdle when I watch Generations and shake my head at his singing (“Mr. Tambourine Maaaan!!!!”) and cry a little at his spoken word poetry and maybe laugh some more when he auctions off his kidney stones, the world really wouldn’t be as much fun without him. That’s not just the cheese and melancholy talking either....

Things completely unrelated to Lindsey Lohan

Here's a little afternoon pick-me-up: Wil Wheaton performing scenes from the Picard vs. Kirk writing contest for Star Trek fans. Somehow I don't really think he's giving it his all, although he is giving it a nice coat of light, shiny insincerity. Thanks to Park Bench reader Shan for the tip!

On a completely unrelated note, I'm planning on checking out the new FX series, "Damages" tonight, starring Cruella deVille who also once played Glenn Close. The series has been getting rave reviews, and it's produced and written by a friend of mine from high school. The guy once got an Emmy nomination for penning an episode of "The Sopranos," so he knows what's what with the whole writing thing.

And from Monsters and Critics comes this story about a postal worker who braved floodwaters to deliver the latest Harry Potter book to the folks in his village who not only had to suffer through rising waters but also the worry that they'd never see their books. I think I love this guy a little, especially since my mailman won't even put the flap on my mailbox down when it rains.

And finally, Premiere magazine has a list of the top ten TV shows that should be movies. The list includes "Friday Night Lights" which, um, I'm pretty sure was already a movie but therein lies the synergistic irony, I'm sure.

A couple of things...

* Wil Wheaton was kind enough to respond to his election as Nerd Man of the Month for June. He gave a hearty "W00t" and added, "Thank you so much for the honor and the incredibly kind words. I'm in some very good company." The Park Bench has been lucky with the graciousness of its Nerdy honorees. Everyone's been a really good sport.

* Via Time Magazine's Nerd World blog, there's a new video out showing the first day of shooting on the upcoming Indiana Jones 4 movie. My Harrison Ford radar didn't spot the grizzled hottie on set, but there's a nice still shot of him in costume up at www.indianajones.com. And the short movie does have shots of Spielberg wearing his Foreign Legion hat and Lucas looking thoughtful. It's a good way to start the countdown to the next installment. I know I'm looking forward to it -- Indy hasn't failed me yet!

Nerd Man of the Month: Wil Wheaton

In a way, it's inevitable that someone who wore a unitard on Star Trek: The Next Generation and wrote a book called Just a Geek would make it into the pantheon of Nerd Men of the Month. Beyond his nerd street cred, though, Wil Wheaton earns his Nerd Man honor because of his wickedly funny sense of humor, his deft writing style, his ability to make fun of his Star Trek past while still tipping his hat to its cultural importance and finally, for pioneering the art of blogging. Since the day it began, Wheaton has infused his blog with equal measures of goofiness, pop culture criticism and an intriguing look at what it's like to be a working actor. And damn if I didn't get just a little bit choked up after reading his post about his son graduating from high school. Plus, the guy knows Patrick Stewart (le rowr), starred in Stand By Me, almost single-handedly made Fark famous and is a bad ass Texas Hold 'Em player. Blogger, poker stud, actor, author and smart ass, Wheaton's basically a 21st century Renaissance man. If that doesn't earn a man the title of Mr. June, what will?

Photo from www.pokerstarsblog.com.