Blog Action Day: Tree Hugging Is Cooooool!

I can feel the dark blazing eyes of My Political Boyfriend Al Gore (TM) on me right now as I realize I forgot to do my part for Blog Action Day, a world-wide effort to get thousands of bloggrs to post on one subject: the environment.

My soapbox is low to the ground, and I'm afraid of heights, so I'll be quick and just say I hope anyone reading this will take just a few minutes today to think of one thing you can do to conserve energy or help clean up your corner of the environment. Whether it's recycling your coffee cans, swapping out your regular light bulbs with some energy-efficient bulbs, walking to the video store to rent "Transformers" rather than driving, visiting sites like www.treehugger.com or just making a date with a friend to watch "An Inconvenient Truth"...and spend the next week freaked out about the impending demise of the polar bear (Trust me, I've done that...and I think I just freaked myself out again.), it all helps.

When I first got converted to my current semi-tree-hugger status, I tended to panic and think, "What the hell can I do to help the environment? It's too big a problem. There are too many SUVs trying to run me over!" But we can make a difference if enough of us try. It's easy to do...just simple choices one at a time. They all add up.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming. Thanks for listening -- or reading. You know what I mean.

Friday Nerd News

* Next to a pony or Joss Whedon or a pick-up truck full of gold, this is what I would want to see most in my front yard:


Yup, it's a 21-foot-long X-Wing...that actually flies. They strapped a four rockets onto the back of it and are going to shoot it off and hope it lands in one piece. If not, Frank Oz has promised to come out, shove a Yoda puppet onto his left hand and mentally will the thing out of whatever Dagobah swamp it lands in.

* Speaking of real life space adventures, there's this rather nifty interview with Sir Arthur C. Clarke on the 50th anniversary of Sputnik and the future of space travel. Sadly, the first thing I thought when I saw the article was, "Sir Arthur Conan Doyle is still alive?" D'oh! My nerd card is totally going to get revoked.

* Word on the street is J.J. Abrams will be producing a new show for ABC. I don't know how to break this to you, but it's, uh, about a notary public. If they add the words "on a mysterious island in space with spies and Victor Garber" after "notary public," I might watch. Maybe. Possibly. Probably not.

* I swear I will stop talking so much about "30 Rock" soon, but I've got to just one more tidbit that's making me shiver with glee: my political boyfriend and soon-to-be Nobel Prize winner Al Gore is going to be guest starring on a future episode. I can't get cancer from snuggling with my TV, can I?

* And finally, did you know that Wikipedia has an entry for "nerd girl"? Neither did I! Apparently, we're "a stock character of late-20th and 21st-century fiction." (That punctuation is their fault, by the way.) Also, we have the following characteristics:

- often wears eyeglasses, which typically have large lenses and thick frames - in comics, particularly, this is an easy shorthand way of indicating that a character is a Nerd Girl. [Also, arrows and small labels reading "Nerd Girl" are effective.]

- dresses unfashionably, not as a statement but because she doesn't care about fashion. Typically her clothes will be loose and comfortable; they may be somewhat "young" for her. This should not be confused with dressing in alternative or eclectic fashions such as indie, goth, or bohemian, although in recent years, some nerd girls (especially self-styled), have begun doing so in an attempt to generate a more interesting outward image. [Okay, sure, why not?]

- wears her hair in unfashionable styles (such as a ponytail or pigtails; while male nerds have messy hair or flattops, sometimes with hair gel)[You know, maybe some of us just have arms that are too short to effectively blow dry the back of our hair. I'm just saying...]

- is obviously intelligent [Duh.]

- is fascinated by some area of knowledge, usually cultural, liberal arts and humanities as opposed to science and tech-related fields of the male nerds.

- is not popular [Hey, I have plenty of friends. Sure, they're online but still...]

- is not considered conventionally attractive (exception: male nerds)[Why, I oughtta...!!!!]

- is shy and may be somewhat socially inept in groups [I've always thought my social anxiety disorder gives me character.]

- uninterested in and unskilled at sports (distinguishing her from the tomboy) [Much the way a porpoise is distinguished from a dolphin or a Mary Kate is distinguished from an Ashley]

Despite all these negatives, we're also known to be "kind and good-hearted, passionate about causes, feminist or post-feminist, possessed of good one-on-one interpersonal skills, aware of our own emotional states and, yes, small in stature.

And there it is. If you could all try to conform to these traits, it would be much appreciated. We have to stick together because it's the only way we'll become cultural stereotypes. After that, the world will be our oysters, and I'm fairly sure we can become archetypes. And you know what that means? The ghost of Joseph Campbell will LOVE US FOREVER!

Friday News Wrap-Up

* David Duchovny, why do you tease us so? Rumor has it that the last hurdles standing in the way of a second X Files movie have been cleared and production could start as early as 2008. For someone who has, on occasion, held drunken, one-sided conversations with her Mulder and Scully action figures, the news couldn’t be any better. Of course, we’ve heard movie rumors before so I refuse to get too excited until I’m actually sitting in the front row of my neighborhood cineplex, eating popcorn and staring up into the dark recesses of David’s mighty proboscis.

* Soon you will be able to strap an EEG onto your head and play video games with your brain. Thanks to a company called Emotiv Systems, I'll finally be able to play Minesweeper without the wear-and-tear of actually moving my limbs, which, let’s face it, are going to atrophy into useless flippers before human evolution’s all said and done. Here’s hoping the device comes with a catheter and a lifetime supply of Red Bull.

* If you'd prefer to steer clear of the EEG, you can always exercise those neurons with a free poem-a-day from those book-loving hippies at Poets.org in celebration of National Poetry Month this April. If you sign up, they'll send a poem from one of their new publications to your inbox every day, and they all will rhyme. Just kidding. It's probably free-form stuff that we all have to nod at thoughtfully and pretend to understand.

* Apropos of nothing, here’s a blog devoted to shoes and shoe faux pas, written in the voice of an effiminate, patronizingly accented gentleman who puts the word “the” in front of every noun, verb and adjective he can find. Is it supposed to be funny or not? I just don't know.

* Speaking of funny, here’s why I like the Internet: because I don’t have to watch all of Saturday Night Live anymore. If something funny happens, like Peyton Manning beating up little kids and teaching them to steal, I can just watch it online, thus saving me valuable time to learn how to play video games with my brain.

* And last but not least, tomorrow is My Political Boyfriend Al Gore's birthday. My girthsome Earth-prophet will be turning 59. In honor of the big day, I pledge (seriously) to walk, not drive, to all my errands, and also, if I get drunk, I might crank call Senator Inhofe and pretend I'm Barbara Boxer coming to steal his gavel. Dirty!

* ETA: I almost forgot this tidbit. Remember that contest at the Chicago Tribune I posted on a couple weeks back, where people could vote on their favorite TV character? Here are the shocking results: Battlestar Galactica's Starbuck smacked 24's Jack, 3,061 votes to 777 votes. Maybe it's because Kara knows how to use her inside voice, unlike Jack "I have a top-secret message but I'm going to shout it into this phone as loud as I can" Bauer. That's my theory.

Wednesday News Wrap-Up

* According to The Washington Post, good penmanship is officially dead. Somewhere John Hancock cries and gives America's first-grade teachers the finger.

* USA Today claims that teenage girls stopped making Grey's Anatomy video montages long enough to watch Barack Obama videos and elect him president of YouTube Land. The story also chronicles how fellow presidential hopeful Dennis Kucinich seems to accidentally be creating his own brigade of Squeaky Frommes:

Kucinich has been particularly active. On March 16, he took the unusual step of responding to a video from James Kotecki, a vlogger that goes by the name "EmergencyCheese." Kotecki had called for interaction from the candidates with the YouTube community. Kucinich's response then prompted Kotecki to post a video praising the candidate for his bold step. He also dances while chanting: "Gotta response from Kucinich."

* Saucy science nerd Al Gore is on Capital Hill today showing off his Oscar and encouraging congressmen to accept the fact that driving Hummers will NOT make up for their physical shortcomings.

* Long-time girl nerd hearthrob David Duchovny is returning to television with a new Showtime comedy series. He plays a novelist with a penchant for self-destructive behavior. Two words: action figure!

* And finally, The Chicago Tribune has been doing their own tournament of sorts for TV characters. It's down to the Final Four: Jack Bauer (24) vs. Jack Donaghy (30 Rock) and Starbuck (Battlestar Galactica) vs. Dr. Greg House (House). I wish these were spin-off ideas. I would love to see Jack Donaghy take down Jack Bauer.