Thursday, March 29, 2007

Friday News Wrap-Up

* David Duchovny, why do you tease us so? Rumor has it that the last hurdles standing in the way of a second X Files movie have been cleared and production could start as early as 2008. For someone who has, on occasion, held drunken, one-sided conversations with her Mulder and Scully action figures, the news couldn’t be any better. Of course, we’ve heard movie rumors before so I refuse to get too excited until I’m actually sitting in the front row of my neighborhood cineplex, eating popcorn and staring up into the dark recesses of David’s mighty proboscis.

* Soon you will be able to strap an EEG onto your head and play video games with your brain. Thanks to a company called Emotiv Systems, I'll finally be able to play Minesweeper without the wear-and-tear of actually moving my limbs, which, let’s face it, are going to atrophy into useless flippers before human evolution’s all said and done. Here’s hoping the device comes with a catheter and a lifetime supply of Red Bull.

* If you'd prefer to steer clear of the EEG, you can always exercise those neurons with a free poem-a-day from those book-loving hippies at in celebration of National Poetry Month this April. If you sign up, they'll send a poem from one of their new publications to your inbox every day, and they all will rhyme. Just kidding. It's probably free-form stuff that we all have to nod at thoughtfully and pretend to understand.

* Apropos of nothing, here’s a blog devoted to shoes and shoe faux pas, written in the voice of an effiminate, patronizingly accented gentleman who puts the word “the” in front of every noun, verb and adjective he can find. Is it supposed to be funny or not? I just don't know.

* Speaking of funny, here’s why I like the Internet: because I don’t have to watch all of Saturday Night Live anymore. If something funny happens, like Peyton Manning beating up little kids and teaching them to steal, I can just watch it online, thus saving me valuable time to learn how to play video games with my brain.

* And last but not least, tomorrow is My Political Boyfriend Al Gore's birthday. My girthsome Earth-prophet will be turning 59. In honor of the big day, I pledge (seriously) to walk, not drive, to all my errands, and also, if I get drunk, I might crank call Senator Inhofe and pretend I'm Barbara Boxer coming to steal his gavel. Dirty!

* ETA: I almost forgot this tidbit. Remember that contest at the Chicago Tribune I posted on a couple weeks back, where people could vote on their favorite TV character? Here are the shocking results: Battlestar Galactica's Starbuck smacked 24's Jack, 3,061 votes to 777 votes. Maybe it's because Kara knows how to use her inside voice, unlike Jack "I have a top-secret message but I'm going to shout it into this phone as loud as I can" Bauer. That's my theory.


Anonymous said...

Re: Jack shouting into the phone - Don't get me started on people who have no concept of amplified sound. Worst offender ever: Hillary Clinton!
Would someone, please, clue her in...quietly.

L-D's D

Liz said...

I heard Helen Keller was loud as an ox. :-)

annie said...

Jack Bauer is the next generation's Chuck Norris.

Not Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer.

We like 24, but only when we are too ill to work and need something fun and schlocky to watch while we recover.

But Starbuck could totally kick Bauer's ass. She's got a SPACE SHIP.

Liz said...

24 is definitely a schlock-fest, but it's also like crack. My husband and I will watch hours and hours at a time some weekends and then go months without ever switching it on. Plus, it's just never been the same since Tony and his soul patch disappeared.

annie said...

My husband and I are exactly the same way. The adrenaline is addictive (marathoning the first season was particularly intense... i was never able to finish it), but once you have the relief at the end of an arc, it's easy to keep away. To detox, I guess.