Ewoks gone wild!

You already may have seen or heard about this, but if you haven't, check out these two seriously messed up Ewoks as they disrupt a Today show segment from yesterday. Absolutely hilarious. Thanks for the link, Megan!

Wednesday Odds & Ends: Jack Ryan, Toy Story 3, Star Wars meets 30 Rock and a cute slow loris

+ Captain Kirk 2.0 himself is apparently in talks to revamp another classic character. Yep, Chris Pine may take on the role of Tom Clancy's CIA analyst Jack Ryan, previously played with saucy aplomb by Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford. I know I'd tune in.

+ Pixar has released their trailer for "Toy Story 3" which is due out in theaters next June. I will admit I got a bit nostalgic seeing Buzz and Woody again. Here it is for your viewing pleasure, via Cinemablend. You also can see it in HD over at the Apple site.



+ Gandalf aka Ian McKellen got chatty recently with Empire Magazine, sharing details on the upcoming "Hobbit" film as well as a few nuggets on "X-Men."

+ The creator of "Gilmore Girls," Amy Sherman-Palladino, has a new deal with HBO to do a series about "three adult sisters, all writers sharing the same upper east side apartment building, and their mother, a domineering literary lioness who reserves most of her affections for their ne'er-do-well brother." It sounds a bit like a modern Bronte family. Given how much love was shown for literature and the written word on "Gilmore Girls," this is a series I'll definitely try.

+ This list of the Top 10 Funniest "X-Files" Episodes had me digging through my DVD collection yesterday. I have to say, though, I'm shocked "War of the Coprophages" didn't make the list.

+ If you're feeling in the encylopedic mood and want to celebrate the return of Liz Lemon tomorrow night, check out TheForce.Net's list of each and every "Star Wars" reference in "30 Rock." I knew there were a lot but wow, that list is long!

+ And finally, here's a video that amused me greatly yesterday: a creature called a slow loris getting tickled and scratched...and loving every second of it. No, it doesn't take a lot to entertain me.

Tuesday Odds & Ends: G.I. Joe, Flash Forward, historical inaccuracies, space taxis and Mythbusters

+ Say you don't want to go see "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra" but you DO want to see Alan Tudyk wearing a false beard and crying over "The Wonder Years." Then check out this ode to G.I. Joe called, oddly enough, "The Ballad of G.I. Joe" about what all your favorite Joe characters do on their off time. Hee.

The Ballad of G.I. Joe from Olivia Wilde

+ As someone who's still fuming about the gigantor sabre tooth tigers in "10,000 B.C.," I enjoyed this list of the 10 most historically inaccurate movies. Read a book, Roland Emmerich! (I only criticize out of love -- Roland has made some of my favorite cheesy movies of all time, bless his little heart.)

+ Want to learn more about ABC's new fall series, "Flash Forward," where every person in the world blacks out for 2 minutes and 17 seconds (isn't that how we choose our "Idol" winners?) and has a singular vision of the future? Sure you do! Check out this interview with "Flash Forward"'s producer David Goyer.

+ Here's something I didn't know -- seven of the nine writers behind "Mad Men" are women, including "Buffy" alumna Marti Noxon. The Wall Street Journal has a great article on how they put their pen to 1060s chauvenism and general ass-hattery.

+ Have you been secretly developing a commercial passenger transportation service to space and wondering what to do with it? Well, NASA would like to hear from you. I suggest charging for every quarter mile but that's just me.

+ "Family Guy" has more "Star Wars" spoofs planned, says Seth McFarlane, adding, perhaps menacingly depending on your feelings about Freudianism, "Certainly the big worm coming out of the asteroid (in 'Empire Strikes Back') is a big comedy moment for us." Oh dear.

+ And finally, run, don't walk to your local newstand where this month's issue of Popular Mechanics features "Mythbusters" on the cover and includes their guide to gonzo engineering.

Wednesday Odds & Ends: Star Wars comedians, P.T. Barnum and the endless shelf-life of Smallville

+ Sorry for the late post, but I've been trying to recover after the soul-crushing announcement that Paula Abdul is leaving "Idol." This is almost as devastating as finding out that those two people with the half-dozen kids on that show I don't watch broke up.

+ Honestly, I think I've had this particular anxiety dream -- a comedian bombs at Jabba the Hut's place. I kind of love it:

Star Wars Stand Up Comic - watch more funny videos

+ Here's a fascinating story about how Netflix ships its movies. I'd always just assumed it was done through magic but the reality's just as cool.

+ The CW is now saying that "Smallville" and "Supernatural" may live on past this coming season. I recall reading a story on how the makers of "Supernatural" didn't want it to go on past a certain point so I'm not quite sure how I feel about that. As for "Smallville," holy cow, how long can that thing last? It's like a lingering cough that's lasted 20 years.

+ It's being reported that Hugh Jackman will star in an original movie musical about the life of P.T. Barnum. I am excited about this one, because someone is apparently making an original movie and two, I love the circus!

Star Pants? Pants Wars?

From the Star Wars community on Livejournal comes this List of Top 100 Star Wars Lines Improved By Replacing a Word with "Pants." I think it may have been around a while, but even if you've read it before, I dare you not to giggle at least once. My personal favorite? "I am altering the pants. Pray that I don't alter them any further." Tee hee.

Ten reasons to be thankful for Star Wars

Thanks to Star Wars, we got a million sci-fi rip-offs, some of which were good and some of which were Flash Gordon.

Thanks to Star Wars, we’ve all secretly tried to use the Jedi Mind Trick to get out of traffic tickets and move coffee mugs using the Force. I swear I made a pen wobble once.

Thanks to Star Wars, America wins the best missile defense name contest, beating out France’s Toulouse-Loutrec Missile Defense System (where the rockets, you know, just fall short) and Canada’s Maurice “The Rocket” Richard Defense System (where the rockets just go to Tim Horton’s and order a small coffee).

Thanks to Star Wars, writers everywhere learned that even if Steven Spielberg is your best friend and you shed thousand dollar bills the way other humans shed dead skin cells, God in the form of Roger Ebert will still punish you for writing a character like Jar Jar Binks.

Thanks to Star Wars, Joseph Campbell sold a few million more books and earned ten solid years of nerd fame (“Bill Moyers loves me!”) before going to the Great Archetypal Beyond.

Thanks to Star Wars, millions of Americans have a tight-pant-wearing Harrison Ford and a metal-bikini-wearing Carrie Fisher to thank for jumpstarting their collective puberties.

Thanks to Star Wars, the world has lots and lots of action figures – all of which eventually get lit on fire by your brother.

Thanks to Star Wars, children everywhere have spent the last 30 years making whooshing noises and clubbing each other with brightly colored sticks. We call these lightsaber battles – and HMOs love them!

Thanks to Star Wars, asthmatics are no longer shunned but rather celebrated for their spot-on Darth Vader impressions. Inhalers be damned.

And finally, thanks to Star Wars, we learned what it meant to fall deeply, madly in love with a movie.

Best Sci-Fi Friends Forever

Entertainment Weekly's PopWatch blog asked its readers to name the top 15 sci-fi characters and creatures they'd most like to spend time with. The answers, my friends, are intriguing:

Voters gave the friendship thumbs-up to the Satellite of Love crew from Mystery Science Theatre 3000. I say "hell yes" to this one. I wanted to be imaginary friends with Mike, Crow, Servo and the rest of the gang so much that in college my pals and I drove 15 hours to Wisconsin to go to an MST Convention where we dressed up like Torgo and crashed a wedding at the Radisson. Good times....

No surprise that the voters also named the Star Trek: The Next Generation crew. This is a good call, much better than befriending the folks of the Kirk era. You know why? If you were Kirk's friend, you'd be cinching up his girdle every day like he was Scarlett O'Hara. Also, the 1701-D has that bald panther of love, Jean-Luc Picard. "Hubba" and then "hubba" once more.

Jabba the Hutt made it onto the list. I don't understand his one. You'd have slime trails all over your hardwood floors every time he came over. I going to assume people voted for him because they thought metal-bikini Princess Leia was included in the package.

Bender from Futurama made the grade. Makes sense. You'd always have a tasty alcoholic beverage at hand.

I almost melted from the cuteness when I saw Gizmo from Gremlins on the list. As a kid, I really wanted a Gizmo. I think it was that little purring, chirping, cooing thing he did. Also, he was a dangerous bad boy. Shower him with an accidental wet sneeze and leave the blinds half open and you've got a sharp-toothed little killer with the saucy charm of Hannibal Lecter on your hands. Scary but tantalizing, like a younger, undead Keith Richards.

My Mulder and Scully action figures were pleased to see that life-sized Mulder and Scully were on the list too. See, this would be a tough call for me because I'd start out being friends with Mulder and Scully but then I'd get jealous of Scully 'cuz of Mulder bein' so cute and all and then I'd start spreading lies about her and hiding her shoes and putting glue in her shampoo bottle and kicking her in gym class. And then she'd shoot me. But she'd miss the vital organs and while I was recovering, Mulder would make out with me from pity. And I'd be cool with that. Not that I ever thought about that one....

Point/Counterpoint: Star Wars

Never ones to shy away from life’s hard issues, fellow Park Bencher Ms. C and I have tackled one of the most divisive, difficult questions known in all of girl nerddom: who’s better – Luke Skywalker or Han Solo? Feel free to chime in with your own thoughts in the comments section after reading our spirited debate below, moderated by the spirit of Brit Hume:

Ms. C: Luke's the HERO. He saves everybody! Sure, he needs Han's help, but what real man doesn't accept a friend's help when saving the world from evil?

Liz: Yes, but Luke never would have blown up the Death Star in Episode Four without Han coming in at the last minute to save him. Ergo, without Han, the Empire would have incinerated Luke and all the other rebels. Plus, let's face it, Han wore better clothes and probably didn't smell like toasted Jawas.

Ms. C: Luke has vitality and a youthful exuberance that counteracts Han's cynical selfishness. Plus, Luke has blond hair and we all know, it's a scientific fact, that blonds have more fun. I read that once. Also, Luke isn't spoiled by years of illegal dealings, and if we're going to start name-calling about smells, how 'bout the fact that Luke didn't have the lingering odor of wet wookiee?

Liz: If by "cynical selfishness" you mean "unbridled hotness," then I agree totally. And while I concur that, in general, blonds do have more fun, Luke almost single-handedly tanks that theory by accidentally making out with his own sister after his encounter with the Wampa monster on Hoth in Episode 5. Oh, wait -- and who saved him from the Wampa? *cough*Han AGAIN*cough*. As for the wet wookiee, I’ll have you know that Chewbacca smells like Herbal Essences.

Ms. C: I would hardly call that peck on the lips "making out." But I digress; sure, Luke lacks the eroticism of the "bad boy," the rebel, the savvy ne'er-do-well, but need I remind you that without Luke's strategy, confidence, and sexy skill with the light saber, Han would still be a giant licorice popsicle decorating Jabba's den?

Liz: Alright, you got me with the rescue from Jabba's lair. Luke did a good job there for once, but frankly, Han may not have been in that awkward position if he'd just gone back to Tatooine with his reward money and paid off Jabba instead of sticking around to save Luke at the end of Episode Four. Also, Han saved the ark from all those Nazis.

Ms. C: Luke has the Force!

Liz: Han never did Cinemax porn.

And with that, we shake hands and call it a draw. Then the spirit of Brit Hume gives us post-debate rub-downs, and we have cocoa.