Friday, June 20, 2008

Reality Shows I’d Like To See

It seems like everywhere you look on TV these days, there’s a reality show grimacing back at you. With a steady, bland diet of dance competitions, Nashville singing competitions, quiz shows and dating shows, though, the networks are playing it too safe. If they’re going to force feed us hundreds of hours of soul-sucking reality programming, let’s at least try take it to the extreme and scrape as hard along the bottom of that barrel as we can. In fact, here’s a few productions I’d like to see:

“Off Her Meds and Off the Record: Carrie Fisher Spends An Hour Blurting Out Whatever Comes Into Her Head”
Like having the Oracle of Delphi in prime time.

“Deer Fight Back”
Spin-Off: “Wild Turkey Ain’t Just a Beverage”
We arm the wildlife during hunting season. Hijinks ensue.

“Joey Fatone Sits In His Bathrobe Dialing Wrong Numbers”

Will he remember Justin Timberlake’s phone number? Tune in and find out!

“You’ll Never Guess What I Stepped In”
Pedestrians and their shoes.

“How Much Cake Can I Put In My Mouth Without Suffocating?”
A game show for those with a sweet tooth…and an enormous gullet.

“Postmodern Paparazzi”
People taking pictures of people taking pictures of people. Hosted by the ghost of Gertrude Stein.

“Watching My Cat Sleep”
Like Meercat Manor but completely lame. Except during sweeps month when we film her sleeping with her tongue half out of her mouth. Totally cute! LOL!

But enough about me. What shows would you like to see?


Gaile said...

Top Waiter - open to all from aging diner waitresses with smoker's cough to ranting waiters from upscale new york eateries.

How Straight Are You? - where various right-wing conservatives are tempted at every turn by hotties in public restrooms and cute young intern boys.

Anonymous said...

Highlights from the filming of primetime shows, to be aired in place of repeats.

Emily said...

We actually have a fake reality show at my house, called Guess Who's Not Wearing Any Pants.

It's not nearly as porny as it sounds.

Miss Grace said...

You'll Never Guess What I Stepped In sounds particularly promising.