Well, my friends, our long national nightmare is nearly over: "Battlestar Galactica" returns with a new episode tonight.
The world is a different place since last The BSG aired. Dinosaurs no longer roam the Earth. Noah built some sort of ark. The Milky Way was born and invented a candy bar. In short, approximately 12 billion years have passed since this show last aired.
Expectations are high for tonight's return. For months and months, actors, writers, directors, Canadians who stood outside while they filmed episodes and lucky critics who've actually seen the premiere episode have been telling us we will be completely blown away by the last half of this season. Will the show live up to the anticipation?
I'm guessing yes. For one thing, the show is ending because the story is done, not because the tank's empty. For another thing, save for the occasional "Woman King" and "Black Market," this show really doesn't falter...and it definitely doesn't falter when it comes to big finishes and grand finales. This show has blown my mind so often it's positively indecent.
So right now, I'm counting down the minutes until 10 p.m. tonight (and am praying George Bush doesn't have the urge to make another farewell address). It'll be good to have my imaginary friends back. It's like coming back to school after a 12 billion year summer vacation. Will Baltar still remember me? Will Roslin continue her amazing trend of never once losing her glasses despite an apocalypse or two? Will Adama continue to out-Bauer Jack Bauer in the whispery angry guy category? Will Saul Tigh ever turn that frown upside down? Will Tyrol continue to be awesomely insane? How long can Helo flex? Will Kara wipe her boots on Anders the Human Doormat or just be done with it and shoot him? How many times will I worry that Six's dress can't possibly fight gravity much longer? Too many questions. But finally, it's time for some answers.
Welcome back, BSG. I missed you...even if I did cheat on you with a skinny guy in a flying blue box all summer. Sorry about that.
NOTE: If you're recording BSG tonight, don't forget it runs 3 1/2 minutes long. You won't want to miss the surprise ending when Baltar finally figures out how to make out with himself.