Wednesday, May 13, 2009

In Which I Talk About "Terminator Salvation" and Am Forced to Turn in My Nerd Membership Card

I have a confession to make: I'm not at all interested in the impending arrival of "Terminator Salvation" next week. Like not even remotely. I'm afraid something in my nerd core may be broken because I really can't understand my lack of enthusiasm. For one thing, I love robots. For another, I love angry, menacing, scary robots. And for another, I love cylons human-shaped robots who don't know they're robots. But I just can't get my geek antennae humming for this one.

I'm a huge fan of the first two "Terminator" movies, especially the second one with a liquid-y Robert Patrick and special effects that blew my young, impressionable mind at the time. Both of Cameron's early epics were groundbreaking and original, and maybe that's why this new version doesn't stir my coffee. (How many euphemisms will I come up with for a lack of enthusiasm? I don't know. Let's count along and see!) It just looks like your average ordinary apocalyptic dark grainy "Children of Men"/"28 Days Later" flick. With just a hint of "Transformers" thrown in for good measure.

Also, my burro refuses to go up the mountain for this film because I will never forgive McG for the "Charlie's Angels" movies. I know it's shallow and petty of me, but he never sent me an apology letter and my eyes still bleed a little bit when I think of those movies, so I've kept hold of my inner rage. (Okay, on the plus side, he's given us some good "Supernatural" and "Chuck" episodes but that's TV and because I'm feeling stubborn, it doesn't count.)

I think, too, that my giraffe won't bite because I'm not terribly fond of Christian Bale. Why? Well -- and again, I'm totally breaking the geek code of honor here -- I don't like him in the "Batman" movies. He's just got that monotone thing going and the Jack Bauer angry whisper and he makes me sleepy just looking at him. That's not to say I think he's a bad actor -- I'm looking forward to seeing him in "Public Enemy" opposite Johnny Depp, actually -- but I don't believe he's a good action hero actor. Also, dude, he's so angry. All I'm going to be thinking about while watching him battle robots is how he probably beats his caddy. (That was not a euphemism for anything.)

Anyway, I'm sure I'll end up watching "Terminator Salvation" and enjoying it but I'm going to be dragging my beagle all the way through the lobby, not feeling happy about it at all. I would, however, think it's awesome if the robots sang and did magic tricks. Someone needs to make that movie right now, please.

Are you looking forward to the new "Terminator?"


Shan said...

I love the Terminator franchise, and think Bale is a fine actor. I'm mixed on McG, who as you point out, is involved in two TV shows I adore. I thought the first Angels was campy fun, but the second was a crime against humanity. (Also, his "We Are Marshall" wasn't half bad). But I feel like with all the previews and trailers that I've already seen the whole flick. I'm not as excited to see "Salvation" as I am for Trek or Potter, but I'll probably catch it at a matinee or something.

Honestly, given a choice of Terminator Salvation, or another season of The Sarah Connor Chronicles, I'd go with the TV show.

But the terminators do look cool.

Anonymous said...

All I'll be able to think about the whole time is Christian Bale going "Oh GOOOOOOOD for you!" and his on-going "I'm a God and you're a lowly lighting guy, Oh GOOOOOOD for you!" rant. I'm also less than impressed with the fact that they couldn't get two pretty low-demand actors to reprise their roles in this one. Honestly, what are Claire Danes and whathisface actually doing right now? Nada. Stupid recasting.

Jen Anderson said...

I'm not really feeling it. Maybe it's because Sarah Connor Chronicles has been giving me my Terminator fix. And maybe because the 3rd movie and now this 4th one had to overturn the optimistic we-averted-the-robot-uprising ending of Terminator 2, which I thought was even better than the first movie.

All along, this has felt like just another sci fi action film and not a big deal, like Terminator films should be.

crone51 said...

I am pretty much with you on this one but then I have never been a big fan of the franchise. I do like Bale, although I am not a big fan of the Batman franchise either. I loved him in The Prestige a movie that was so delicious in so many ways.

I like my robots to be fully cylonic. Which has nothing to do with full colonics. Oh, BTW, I loved your line about beating his caddy.

I plan to spend the rest of the summer on a quest to find the perfect theater ( sound and projection wise ) on which to watch Star Trek. Which means I will see ST many many many times. This idea makes me splendidly happy.

Florinda said...

No desire to see this one at all, to be honest. T2 was really the only Terminator movie I liked, and I'm ambivalent about Christian Bale. I think he's done good work, but there's something about him that just BUGS me (it may be American Psycho, although I've never wanted to see that either; just knowing it exists is more than enough for me).

But I WILL be seeing Star Trek this weekend!

irata said...

I think that i would not be able to tak it seriously if Christian Bale started yelling at anything related to lights in the movie.

oh and hey I just wanted to ask if it was alright if i could post your list of 50 nerdy things to do before you die list. Its pretty old but I thought I should ask permission

RedCochina said...

I guess I'm in the minority. YEARS ago I saw Christian Bale in Empire of the Sun and have loved him ever since. I think he's a great actor and I can forgive him for having a meltdown at work. He's under A LOT of stress with Batman and Terminator, two huge franchises that are expected to bring in heavy money AND he was having crazy family issues. I'm not saying any of that is an excuse, just that it helps me understand why he would snap. I wouldn't want to trade places with him.

As for Terminator... I pretty much ignore the third one and pretend it never existed. I'm in love with the show and am still holding out hope it will be renewed. There's so much left to explore! Can robots be human? They lie, can make mistakes. Can they fall in love? Can they make choices that go against their orders? Why? I love the themes of loyalty, friendship, devotion, etc. and the idea that robots can personify those. What does that say about humanity?

Anyhoo, not to be all philosophical (too late) but my hopes are pretty high that Salvation will be great action as well as great drama. The show raised all kinds of hope for me. We'll see if I'm not cursing my high expectations in a couple weeks...

Dana said...

I am so excited for this movie, I almost pee my pants every time I see a trailer. I think Christian Bale is great (hello, Newsies anyone?).

I agree with the other commenter who ignores the third movie. It was entertaining and worth watching, but not really relevant as a Terminator movie. The TV show also pretended it didn't exist. And I am guessing that this movie will do that also.

I didn't know the director was the same as Charlie's Angels. That is disheartening. But maybe this will make up for it?

jess (fushmush) said...

If I see it I'll be seeing it for Sam Worthington... mmmmm Sam Worthington.

Anonymous said...

Are you sure it's not just because the third one was terrible?

I mean, that's what I heard at least.

I really find it hard to be excited by any action trailer lately... they all seem so formulaic. I wasn't even really excited about Star Trek until everyone saw it and started talking about how good it is. (Still haven't seen it) And while I like Bale, (rants aside) he's another actor like Johnny Depp who seems to be in everything, to the point where I am sick of hearing about him.

Liz said...

Irata, I'm sorry, I totally forgot to respond to this yesterday. Yes, absolutely, feel free to post the list. If you could include a link back to the site, that'd be great. Thanks for sharing it with your readers!

irata said...