Knut the cute-ass bear

Yahoo! tells me that Knut the Bear is simply the cutest thing to hit the airwaves since JonBenet. Born in Germany and known to be a close friend of the Kaiser, Knut is all the rage in his home country and is whipping up a frenzy of cuteness worldwide. More than 1,000 followers already have gathered in South America, holding cups of honey-flavored Kool-Aid at the ready. Knut has single-handedly raised the stock prices of his home zoo by 94 percent and, by association, should raise the circulation of The Park Bench by an equivalent amount. At least that's what the men with the PR badges and Bavarian ski masks told me when I handed them the bag of Euros.

Here's a picture of Knut being forced into cuteness for the sake of the Reich. His fluffer is letting him know that the people from Steiff are on their way and if he doesn't make at least 200 prepubescent girls swoon by tomorrow night, he'll be sold to FAO Schwartz.


Oh jeez, he is actually pretty cute. I can only be jaded for so long. Wook at his wittle paws....