Monday, January 07, 2008

Things Not To Say When Your Significant Other Is Playing Call of Duty 4 on XBox Live and Has the Microphone On For All the World To Hear

"Do you want me to throw away this Dungeons and Dragons board or put it in the closet with the Pokemon stuff?"

"What are these blue pills for again?"

"I DVRed The Hills for you."

"Just because you're twice their age doesn't mean you can't beat these kids."

"Who's a good little marksman? Who's a good little marksman? You are, boo boo!" (This achieves maximum embarrassment if uttered while tickling the person and/or speaking in a voice usually reserved for babies or cute dogs.)

"You know how you asked me if that shirt makes you look fat? I don't think so. I think it's the pants."

"Do you want marshmallows with your hot cocoa?"

"The doctor said not to scratch that."

"You never take me to LAN parties anymore."

"Just because it moved during 'Sweeney Todd' doesn't mean you're gay for Johnny Depp. You might just like musicals."


The Husband said...

I would just like to state for the record that this is a work of fiction...mostly.

Anonymous said...

That last one was priceless. Must somehow work into stand up routine.

Liz said...

Thank you. I was so proud of myself for making a joke with an actual punch line. :-)