I'm back and I missed you! I've been squirreling away my geekiness during the past couple weeks and am ready to unleash it once more. And what better way to go nerdy than by talking about "Star Trek?" I've decided I have five sci-fi wishes for this week's premiere of the new "Star Trek" movie, and they are this:
1) Please don't let it embarrass me in front of the normal people. -- There's nothing worse than going to a movie with your non-geek friends, promising them up and down the street that "I heard this was really good and will totally appeal to non-Trek fans" and then have some guy in a giant lizard suit with the zipper on the back get a phaser to the gills while trying to leg hump some three-breasted woman. And let's face it, some of the "Star Trek" produced over the last few decades have come pretty damn close to that scenario and every single time, it just makes me want to crawl under my seat, muttering, "I swear it can be good." I really, really want non-Trekkies to be able to appreciate this movie.
2) Please let it retain its "Star Trek" soul. -- Because I am a woman, it's my prerogative to want things both ways and my antithetical wish for this week is for "Star Trek" to appeal to non-Trekkies BUT also retain the optimism and wide-eyed belief that the future can be better that has made this fictional universe so appealing for so long. Gene Roddenberry, even though I'm pretty sure he was a nut, created something special when he imagined a future where people live not just to survive but to strive and live up to their potentials. Especially in this day and age, we could all use a little positivity. "Star Trek" is a great vehicle to provide that.
3) Please let Eric Bana's Nero be a bad-ass villain. -- Save for Khan and the Borg, "Star Trek" has suffered from some pretty anemic villains over the last few decades. I'd like an actually bad villain, one who has a deep dark mission, ideally one that actually makes sense and can drive a storyline. On a personally shallow note, I'm already upset that they've hidden Bana's tall, dark and handsome good looks under a Telly Savalas hat but I can forgive and forget as long as his character provides a worthy adversary for Kirk, Spock and the rest of the crew.
4) Please let it be funny, preferably intentionally so. -- I'm not talking slap-stick funny or people pointing at the weird-looking Vulcan funny. I mean, let's have Scotty crack wise every now and then and maybe Sulu get in some dry bon mot here or there. Or Bones toss out a few of those cranky pants witticisms we loved so much in the original series. These are smart characters and smart people tend to be able to throw out a good joke every now and then. Don't let these characters be dry, dull action heroes. Let 'em have more dimension than that, okay?
5) Please revive my faith in "Star Trek." -- When I was a little kid, my Saturdays were filled with "Star Trek" reruns. When I was in college, my friends and I faithfully watched "Next Generation" every weekend. I hung around for "Deep Space Nine" and even watched "Voyager." But by then, the shine was off the penny and I'd lost my passion for going where no man (or one) has gone before. I want that passion back. I really want to love "Star Trek" again. And I want to believe in its quality and believe it's worthy of its longevity. I have faith in J.J. Abrams. He's always entertained me and from what I've heard about this film, I think he has a good chance of doing exactly that this time out. If he can somehow re-spark my lifelong passion for this wagon train to the stars, my nerdy heart will be eternally grateful.
See, now is this too much to ask? Five very simple requests. Should be a snap, right? I've got my fingers crossed that the answer is a great big yes. Only five more days until we found out. Please nerdy gods, please....