The Tell-Tale Signs: Stevie Nicks

Yesterday morning, I saw Stevie Nicks on the Ellen show and, well, I don't know how to tell Stevie this, but I think she might be one of us. Perhaps this is just projection on my part because when I was seven years old, I wanted to be Stevie Nicks and today, Fleetwood Mac is still the bee's knees in my "best band ever" book. I believe, however, that the evidence is solid:

1) She wears very sensible shoes. I was going to provide photographic evidence for this, but I've discovered that the only thing that Google images does not have is a picture of Stevie Nicks wearing black Reebok hightops which I swear to God I have seen her wear dozens of times. I would not lie about rock stars wearing sneakers. I have standards, and you're just going to have to trust me on this.

2) She's a poet, which puts her in league with Dorothy Parker, who earned her own girl nerd status by rocking the bobbed hairstyle and being best friends with Robert Benchley.

3) Stevie likes to watch TV. I don't know this for sure because she keeps forgetting to invite me over for Gilmore Girls , but I'm pretty sure I read this in Rolling Stone. Or maybe The Economist. One of those. Anyway, she gets huuuuge points for being a TV junkie but we also have to deduct a certain number of those points because apparently the TV she likes to watch is The Style Channel. Oooh, we were so close there, Stevie....

4) She owns a lap dog, which is simply another word for "cat" and we like the cats.

5) She dated a tech nerd. Yes, Lindsey Buckingham may be a guitar god, all swanky in his open-necked white cotton shirt and dark blue jeans, but rumor has it, he also enjoys hanging out in his studio playing with all those gizmos and gadgets that make Lance Bass seem like he can sing. He's a tech nerd and here's my evidence:

6) When I was in the 11th row of a Fleetwood Mac concert a few years ago, Stevie Nicks waved at me which totally ensnares her in the nerd realm via the six degrees of Park Bench calculus.

7) She might be a witch. This means that a) she can float and b) she's just like Willow Rosenberg, ergo major, major nerdiness.

And there you have it: indisputable evidence of Stevie Nicks' nerdiness. Say hello and give her the secret handshake when you meet up with her at that midnight preview of Spiderman 3.