Here are a few things to tide you over while you wait for the season finale of Lost tonight and polish up what to say in case Charlie finally, FINALLY, gets offed. (Personally, I’m trying to decide between, “Don’t let the Shire door hit your ass on the way out” and “Better you than Vincent.”)
* Today in The Washington Post, Tom Shales gives a number of reasons why I should probably just erase the new Mark Burnett/Steven Spielberg-produced reality show “On the Lot” from my Tivo, including the sad fact that most of last night’s fledgling directors couldn’t tell a story to save their lives and seemed clueless about that pesky three-act structure thing. Sadder still is the fact that the always cynical and always wonderful Carrie Fisher didn’t get even more snark time.
* This past Friday, a bunch of doctors and science types got together to decide if Abraham Lincoln could have survived his gunshot wound if it had happened in 2007 instead of 1865. The answer? Yes. He just wouldn’t have been writing any more Gettysburg Addresses. Or talking. Or, you know, moving much. Still, they think he could have finished his second term. So I guess our presidential expectations have diminished just a wee bit over the last century and a half, eh?
* And finally some good news. Maybe. The Addams Family is being turned into a Broadway musical, slated to open in the 2009-2010 season. Written by Marshall Brickman and Rick Elice, who penned the 2006 Tony winner “Jersey Boys,” the show will include Gomez, Morticia, Pugsley, Wednesday and the rest of the gang. I’m looking forward to seeing who plays Thing because eventually, one day, I'd like to hear this conversation: “Really? You were on Broadway? What did you play?” “A disembodied hand.” "Did Andrew Lloyd Weber put you up to this?"
Also, how does a disembodied hand sing? Should I just not worry about it?