Sunday, October 28, 2007

Broomstick Riding 101? Intro to Eye of Newt?

According to UPI, a group of Wiccans in Rossville, Illinois are starting a witch school. Shockingly, the town folk are not taking it well. Probably because the curriculum's a little subpar:

The school is based on teaching basic Wiccan beliefs, along with other unusual fare, such as aromatherapy and zombies.

Aromatherapy and zombies? That's awesome. And handy! But how do you teach zombie? Is it a language course? If so, I'm guessing it's the class all the slacker witches take. "Dude, it's totally easy. You know what the zombie word for 'car' is? 'Aaaarrhhhhh.' You know what the word for 'zoology' is? 'Aaarrrrhhhhh.'"

Says the local youth minister:

"Rossville has fallen on hard times....The (public) school closed. This is a popular place for meth. We're like, 'Great, now a witch school.' It feels like we're being attacked."

I'm sorry. I know it's mean, but that one line, "Great, now a witch school," just cracks me up. Just wait until Samantha Stephens starts bewitching it up with Willow Rosenberg. There's good times ahead, Rossville!

1 comment:

SFG said...

Honestly, Wicca's all about new-agey nature worship, unicorns, and good vibes. There's very little genuinely dark stuff in there.

Ever been to Salem, MA? It's really quite funny. They've got pagan stuff on every corner.