Whither the British clown?

As if the news of the world these days wasn't troubling enough, now Britain has a clown shortage. Yes, there is a dearth of circus performers being allowed into the country due to changes in visa policies. This is how bad things have gotten:

"My season started in February," says Martin Lacey, owner of the Great British Circus, "and I've got comedy acrobats stranded in the Ukraine, and Mongolian horse riders who were refused their visas in Ulan Batur." The holes in his lineup have forced Lacey to draft last-minute substitutes. "Our Mexican clown is stuck in Mexico, so we've got a trapeze artist pretending to be a stooge just to get everybody out of trouble," he says. "It's a mess."

So, for any British Park Bench readers who are adept at juggling flaming chainsaws, taming lions or wearing big floppy shoes and squeezing into small cars, your country needs you -- now more than ever.

Hee. I love that story so much.