Why do you wear flip flops in the winter and Ugg boots in the summer?
How does it not faze you to reveal so much cleavage you could be confused with two zeppelins racing for the ground? Don't the leers of the homeless make you the least bit uncomfortable?
Is it really that important to be the first one in line/on the bus/at the cash register?
Is that conversation you're having on your cell phone REALLY important enough to share with everyone?
Why does he stay with someone so mean? No really, I need tips.
What is it with you and Oprah?
How do you not choke on your gum when you pay $150 for a pair of jeans?
And why do you wear high heels with those jeans? It makes no kind of sense unless you're simultenously farming and clubbing. Are you farming and clubbing?
How do you manage to look friendly and judgmental all at the same time?
Have you been able to sleep on your stomach since the implants?
Why do you drive a 12-passenger Yukon when the only people in the car are you, your kid and your lap dog? I try to flip you off but you’re too high up to see me. This is what it’s like when little people get mad at Shaq.
How come when you put blush on it looks good but when I do it, I look like the 87-year-old cross-dressing prostitute that all the other 87-year-old cross-dressing prostitutes make fun of?
Has "Cosmopolitan" Magazine really ever really “helped you hold on to your man?” I think fake pregnancies are more effective but whatever...
Do I have to scrap book?
What’s up with lying to fellow women and making childbirth sound so great? Childbirth means the following items will rocket out of your body: a placenta, blood, a human being, more blood and something called a mucus plug. If gold bullion shot out of my body, I could see being excited.
This is a two-part question: has a stiff wind ever blown you over? If given a sandwich, would you eat it?
Why do you wave your hands in front of your face when you cry? Are you trying to keep the mascara dry or are you doing LOLCat jazz hands? I hope it’s the latter because everyone loves LOLCats.
Do cheerleaders ever turn on each other? You know, like prison snitches?
Why do you let Bret Michaels touch you?
You seriously don't like "Star Wars?" Seriously?
-- Liz and Ms. C. Our claws are now comfortably retracted.