8:54 PM -- Holy cow! In the middle of making scrambled eggs, I remember there's a lunar eclipse going on outside.
8:57 PM -- Finish making eggs but am momentarily distracted by end of Colbert Report. He has great hair.
9:01 PM -- Okay, the moon's looking kind of fucked up right now. It's like I'm in a movie theater and someone with a gigantic Earth sized head is sitting in front of me, blocking my view of the moon. If it blurts out the eclipse's surprise ending, I'm going to be totally pissed.
9:03 PM -- The eggs were scrumptious. I think it's the tabasco sauce that does it.
9:04 PM -- I'd say about 20 percent of the moon is dark now. It looks like one of those faulty, broken buttons you get on a discount sweater. (I'm sure NASA will be stealing that description for their text books.)
9:06 PM -- Now it looks like cheeeeese! Well, half-eaten cheese. The stuff left over with the cracked Ritz at the end of a party. But still, it's cheeeeeese!
9:09 PM -- You know, if you stare at the moon's surface long enough, you start to see shapes in its craters and shadows. So far, I've spotted a giant bear paw print, a crown and Charles Nelson Reilly. Now I know where game show panelists go when they die.
9:13 PM -- Now it looks like half a Nilla wafer. I think I'm still hungry.
9:15 PM -- I think it would be cool if I saw the government blow up the satellite while the lunar eclipse was going on. It would be like a gigantic picture-in-picture kind of thing. In HD. The government needs a better event planner.
9:19 PM -- This thing is moving kind of slow. Doesn't the moon know we're the MTV generation and have no attention span? I'm going to be mature and hang tough (New Kids!) with this though.
9:24 PM -- E!'s 25 Most Sensational Hollywood Meltdowns is on!!
9:29 PM -- It's more than half gone now. I've been thinking: what happens to a werewolf during a total lunar eclipse. I mean technically, it's a full moon out there, but now it's covered up but then it'll be uncovered again later. Would the werewolf half-change and then change back, like how you put a sweater on in the morning but you get too hot by noon so you take it off but you're still all covered in fur and eating people? Wait, I'm totally messing this up.
9:35 PM -- Now it's starting to look like this but without Bruce and Cybill:
Word's just come in that ABC is belatedly suing God for copyright infringement. God's like, "Dudes, try it and I give you a tail."
9:40 PM -- Goddammit, I just got spoilers!
9:45 PM -- It looks like a French tip manicure. (I'm sure I just got the manicure terminology wrong. I'm okay with that.)
9:55 PM -- Now it's kind of brownish-red, like a psychedelic hippie multi-vitamin. I hate it when spoilers are true!
9:58 PM -- Holy shit, the moon's gone!!!
Moon photo from www.spaceweather.com