Most years, the Super Bowl is just the thing that happens in between all the dancing animal commercials or, at worst, it’s just a blatant rip-off of the greatest sporting event ever devised: The Puppy Bowl. This year, though, I actually enjoyed the game, especially watching the NFL’s equivalent of the 98-pound weakling, the New York Giants, kick sand in the face of the sun-tanned, muscle-bound New England Patriots. This nothing this nerd likes more than watching an underdog win. (Sorry, Patriots fans. It’s a Michigan thing. We all have angry inferiority complexes.)
Okay, there is actually one thing this nerd likes watching more than Tom Brady falling down: commercials with dancing animals! Here are my top five favorite commercials from last night:
5) The Sobe dancing lizards -- The message on this commercial was totally lost on me, leaving me more than a little concerned that drinking Sobe will turn me into a cold-blooded, Thriller-loving, animated zombie iguana. But on the other hand, how cool was that animation? I love stuff that gives little critters form and shape – you could see their little tummy muscles moving with the dance. It was great. Go lizards!
4) (Tie) Will Ferrell’s Bud Light/Semi-Pro commercial and the T-Mobile spot with Charles Barkley and Dwayne Wade – Sure, Ferrell’s was pretty much a rip-off of the great product endorsement spots from “Talladega Nights” (Snowblindness in cats!), but I still laughed. And Will kept most of his clothes on, too, so that was a big, big added bonus. And Barkley irritating Dwayne Wade by calling him over and over and over again made me chuckle. Also, a valuable lesson for the young people out there: begging to be in some retired ball player’s Fave Five always comes with a price. Just say no, kids. It’s what Nancy Reagan would have wanted.
3) The Justin Timberlake Pepsi commercial – Seriously, I’m a sad, sad cougar when it comes to Justin Timberlake. I’ll watch him do anything, even getting dragged through streets and lawns while getting sucked through a straw by a girl. Which…uh…seems weird now that I think about it. But hey, how ‘bout that CGI? And he looked cute when he stood up. Four stars from me!
2) Fed-Ex’s ginormous carrier pigeons – I would pay money to go see a movie where giant carrier pigeons took over New York City. In fact, I think this should be the plot of the Cloverfield sequel.
1) E-Trade’s baby trader – Boy, was that kid cute. The voice was perfect. All the schtick was perfect, like him hiring the clown with his newfound E-Trade money…and realizing how creepy that was. I loved the whole series of spots.
And, hands down, the absolute worst spot of the night was GoDaddy’s “we may or may not have a topless Danica Patrick on our homepage and just in case, you should go check it out” ad. On the one hand, I guess you’ve got to admire the blatant efficiency of the concept. On the other hand, are we still in middle school? I mean, I know that stuff used to work when you wanted to get the boys off the tire swing – “hey, look, a naked girl!” – but to think it works on adults at $2.7 million an ad is pretty depressing.
Let’s face it, though, they probably got a lot of hits.
Just like Tom Brady.