Wednesday, June 24, 2009

How to Meet and Woo a Nerdy Girl

Recently, I’ve noticed a lot of folks coming to The Park Bench after Googling “how do I meet a nerdy girl?” Hopefully, this is not the manifestation of some creepy new human trafficking trend but instead is the result of more people wanting to find and date the nerdy woman of their dreams. With that in mind, I offer the following tips:

Tip #1: Know where to look.

The number one thing to know about nerdy girls -- they're probably not going to be doing body shots at the local sports bar on a Friday night. If they're out partying, it's over a micro-brewed pale ale in the quiet corner of their local hole-in-the-wall watering hole. Other good places to spot nerdy women: libraries, bookstores, used bookstores, any other place with books you can think of, comic book stores, knitting stores, craft stores, sitting in the park...reading a book, the local cat fanciers convention, at a midnight showing of "Alien" or in their living rooms, watching "Firefly" again.

Tip #2: It helps to look like this guy:

On the other hand, it helps to look like this guy too:

You're pretty much good either way.

Tip #3: Read lots of books.

Here’s the brutal truth: the nerd girl of your dreams is a brainiac. She’s going to know a lot of stuff about a lot of stuff. You’re going to need to study up -- none of that sitting at the coffee shop with an unread copy of “The Waste Land” in your hand, trying to impress the shallow ladies. Your nerd girl will check to make sure that the spine on the book is cracked and cracked good. She likely also will ask you to compare “The Waste Land” to “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.” If you have to resort to Cliff's Notes, do it surreptitiously. It’s like getting a butt implant – the nerd girls will know you’re faking it.

Tip #4: Don’t slack off on your video game skills.

One of the prime perks of dating a nerdy woman is that she will not yell at you for playing video games rather than, say, going shoe shopping with her. In fact, she likely will sit down next to you and pick up a controller. Here’s the thing though: she’s probably good at whatever game you’re playing so you better be good at it too. Whether it’s Mario Kart or Tiger Woods Golf or the bloody carnage of Grand Theft Auto, she will show no mercy. Practice, practice, practice!

Tip #5: Listen to NPR.

Nerd girls like to stay up to date on their current events…and they like to do it with the dulcet, sometimes somnolent tones of NPR broadcasters. Beware, though, of the onset of NPR depression which stems from listening to so much news and sad stories about flooding in Nova Scotia or the inequities facing migrant workers that you become convinced the world is doomed and there’s no use leaving your house in the morning. This will put a damper on your dating. However, this prevalent disease also will give you an out if you've had to slack off on your NPR duties – just say, “I had to take an NPR break. Sometimes it makes me sad.” This serves two purposes: it gets you off the hook AND it makes you look sensitive. Bonus!

Tip #6: Be interesting.

Whereas a lot of ladies want you to be rich, nerdy women just want you to be interesting. Do you have a comic book collection that spans decades and rests in a vault somewhere untouched by human hands? That’s kinda cool. Are you learning how to do animation so you can one day post the adventures of a hobo cat online? That’s kinda cool too. Maybe you build houses for the poor on weekends or spend an afternoon teaching creative writing to high school kids? Awesome and more awesome. It doesn't matter what you do, just do it well.

Tip #7: Know your pop culture references.

Know the complete works of the Nerd Holy Trinity: Joss Whedon, J.J. Abrams and Peter Jackson. Know that Nathan Fillion will always be on your girl’s “freebie” list. When she goes to church and thanks God that Robert Downey Jr. survived the 1980s so he could play Iron Man, say “Amen” right alongside her. And for the love of all that is sacred and holy, do not EVER get “Star Wars” and “Star Trek” confused: one has Wookiees, one has Shatner, it’s not that hard.

Tip #8: Compliment her by saying, “You remind me so much of Liz Lemon.”

This is truly the highest form of flattery for just about any nerdy woman. Liz Lemon is our patron saint. Her inability to wear high heels, keep food off her face or refrain from making penis jokes while holding a tower made of Legos in her hands makes us reflect fondly on our own quirks. We love her…and you should too.

Tip #9: Embrace her collectibles.

That is not a euphemism for something pervy. It’s just a fact. When you walk into her apartment for the first time and notice a glass cabinet filled with a miniature TARDIS, a sombrero-wearing Giles, a 17-inch Han Solo and a two-foot long replica of the Enterprise NCC-1701-D, do not say, “What the hell is all this stuff?” Instead say, “What the hell? Why don’t you have MORE of this stuff? And may I mail order something for you?”

Tip #10: Be willing to go to conventions.

It’s just a thing we do. Relax and embrace it…and know that nine times out of ten, you’ll catch a glimpse of some nubile young woman dressed as a Princess Leia slave girl. It’s what the universe does to reward patience of our significant others.

Tip #11: Know what to do in a zombie attack.

We've been practicing for this one for a long time. We don't want to have to leave you behind.

Well, that about covers it. Congratulations on taking your first steps on the road to nerd girl nirvana. Know that you have selected the finest kind of woman possible. Way to go, champ!

P.S. Park Bench readers, have I missed any important tips? Please add 'em in the comments.

236 comments:

1 – 200 of 236   Newer›   Newest»
Jen said...

Know that she'll answer an email sooner than she'll pick up a voicemail.

Kirstin said...

I resemble this list!

Liz said...

Jen, so true! E-mail lets me craft perfect, witty sentences. Phones mean I actually have to talk to someone. Who wants that??

Kirstin, you are one of us.... :)

aramblingfancy said...

I agree with everything on this list, especially tip #6 & #8. If someone pesters me with the inane question "Why aren't you seeing anyone?" I always reply, "I haven't met anyone that interesting."

Also, skip the giving of flowers. We much prefer books (even a B&N gift card, I'm not picky), DVDS and other inanimate objects that will not die in 3-5 days. Chocolates, however, will always be welcome.

Liz said...

Aramblingfancy, I agree with you totally on the gift giving. My poor husband always buys me books and DVDs but inevitably gets yelled at by people who tell him he doesn't get me romantic gifts. He always has to say, "But she didn't want a day at the spa. She wanted season four of Doctor Who!" Poor thing.

MK said...

Too true!! Do you mind if I repost this on my blog?

Emmy said...

Great list! I will concur with Jen on the email thing. I am constantly explaining that to people.

I agree with all of them - but #8 in particular hit especially close to home. :)

tenor_mongoose said...

About the gift giving... my last boyfriend bought me a ponderous volume on Russian history and had it sent to my office. I was in raptures. Our receptionist was utterly bemused. :-)

Kimberly said...

#1: Hey, I party! Lack thereof is a lie unless we are talking about hermit nerd girls.

#2: Spot on

#3: OHGOD. Cracked spines is not true. It physically hurts me to crack the spines of my babies. So, do not judge a dude (or lady) by the cover of his (or her) book, PERIOD!

#4: Also, be prepared to play together on Guild Wars.

#5: I refuse to listen to most mainstream media now due to said crappy coverage and such. NPR is also suffering at the hands of my refusal.

#6: HIMYM references help.

#7: Ties in with the above!

#8: Or Kaylee. Kaylee is also acceptable.

#9: DEAL with my shelf full of Kitty Pryde busts.

#10: And know that Comic Con is not the be all end all.

#11: Bonus points if you have a Zombie Survival Kit.

Nightfall said...

I would add "ASK!!!"

Don't assume a nerdy girl is going to notice you over her latest graphic novel purchase. Talk to her, ask her out sincerely and she'll notice.

Alicia said...

Sadly, my semi-nerd hubby is in a wheelchair. In the event of zombie apocalypse, I dub him bait. You don't have to be the fastest, you just have to be faster than the guy in the wheelchair.

Rachel said...

When I shared this on my Google reader, one of my nerdy male friends posted the following:
"I've been waiting for something like this! I'm going to read it Om rom rom rom (that's the sound of reading)"

I smell an excellent book pitch.

Chanimal said...

Oh man thank you for this. I have pop culture references down fairly well, being trained from having 2 sisters who watch Gilmore Girls. Video games I'll have to work on...

Is playing College Muggle Quidditch interesting enough? cuz I do that. =)
-Chris

Lisa said...

I agree 100% (Nathan Fillion is totally on my freebie list!).

Will tomorrow's post be 'How to Meet and Woo a Nerdy Guy'? I'm already looking forward to it! I mean with the weekend coming up, and me free on Friday night and all...

Udanax said...

this is so spot on! i've been trying to explain to my nerd male friends that if they want a nerd girl, they have to look in nerd girl places. this is the ultimate guide!

and i agree. $50.00 on flowers that will die in 3 days is a waste. a $50.00 gift card is such a better use of money.

and_now_we_rise said...

Oh god this is so me, if guys don't know this stuff then no wonder I haven't met a good one yet.
Can you please post How To Meet A Nerdy Guy?

agent57 said...

You don't even know how much I regret not buying Fiesta!Giles when I had the chance.

Liz - I probably wouldn't be against a day at the spa... but watching a season of my favorite show is kind of like my own version of a spa, only with aliens involved!

"Don't assume a nerdy girl is going to notice you over her latest graphic novel purchase." - On the other hand, she will probably notice your latest graphic novel purchase!

I feel like this should be posted on Missed Connections, or something, too.

Emily said...

This list is exactly why I adore your blog.
#7 is so SO true I can't even stand it.

Mickie Poe said...

All true and I agree with my fellow nerladies. I guess I would add, from experience, don't give up on her because you think your nerd guy ways are too nerdy. She's still a lady even though she quotes Star Wars and she'll want you to still be a man even if you stay up till the wee hours just to get the newest techno gadget before everyone else.

Jen Anderson said...

I would also add that correct grammar and punctuation is your friend. Semi-coherent e-mails are a nerd girl turn off.

Michele said...

Loved it - even though a lot of that doesn't apply to me (I'm not into video games, have no clue who Liz Lemon is, and am in the wrong country for NPR!)

agent57 said...

Hmmn, I would add:

- If you happen to meet your desired nerd girl at a local sports bar on a Friday night (it CAN happen, after all) be aware that she's probably not in her comfort zone. Don't come on too strong... don't be too easily discouraged, but don't be a jerk either.

- Have an English accent. If you aren't from England, start practicing an affected one. It doesn't even have to be that good, and you only have to use it on occasion. (I'm not saying you should fake your nationality, of course.)

- Geeky t-shirts? Much like the male bower bird attracts a mate with blue plumage and a nest filled with sparkly debris, the female nerd is likely to be interested by outward displays of your own nerdery. Wear your geekiness with pride!

Stone Girl said...

I am so in love with this list. Yes, yes, and yes.

Add Neil Gaiman to #2 and it is spot on!

But I agree with Kimberly on a couple of items. I (in my younger years) loved a good party and dance club, and I can't stand cracked spines on my beloved books. I made my hubby buy his own copy of Ender's Game.

True story - we started dating long distance in a January. On Valentine's Day, he flew to California to surprise me. He showed up on my doorstep with.....flowers (nice)...and...Season 1 of The New Twilight Zone on DVD (I was his forever).

roognation said...

Cripes! Now the word is out! Scramble all single nerds: regular people now have the knowledge!

Liz said...

Wow, I'm so glad so many of you enjoyed the list! I love all of your suggestions -- especially the English accent one (totally true) and correct grammar.

Chanimal, yes, college quidditch would absolutely count as being interesting!

MK, definitely feel free to repost -- and thank you!

Some folks mentioned a "How to Meet and Woo a Nerdy Guy" sequel. I'll have to mull that one over -- I didn't actually marry a nerdy guy (okay, he's a little bit nerdy) so I'll have to see if I can come up with some good tips. Maybe you ladies who snagged a nerdy man yourselves could offer some hints?

Shanna Swendson said...

I would add:
Never patronize the nerdy girl. I'm surprised at how even nerdy guys mess this one up. It is not "cute" that I can quote Star Wars from memory and am obsessed with Mythbusters. A woman who likes explosions and spaceships really isn't that rare. Don't act like you want to pat me on the head. I am an intelligent person. Treat me as such. You may even have to deal with the fact that I might be smarter than you are (this is where the nerd guys mess up -- they aren't used to finding people who might be smarter than they are).

A guy treating me like I'm stupid is as big a turnoff as a stupid guy.

tartantartesque said...

Excellent list.

I would also add "if you need glasses, wear 'em and do so with pride." Contacts are all very well, but specs are awesome facial accessories and I, as a proud speccy nerd girl, will always appreciate a guy who can rock specs.

Alicia said...

I met an almost not nerdy guy and turned him nerdy, so no advice here! Unless... ya know... you count brainwashing! lol

themacgirl said...

LOL - this cracks me up!

Christopher said...

Not only is it OK that Nathan Fillion is on my gf's list, he's on mine. Along with David Tennant. I'm not really comfortable sharing the others. :)

Jesi said...

Jen Anderson - I totally agree with you.

Also, I would add to the list:

Keep in mind that there are nerdy girls in hiding and/or camouflage. Just because she doesn't look like a nerdy girl or act like one on first inspection doesn't mean she isn't one.

I often get passed up by guys that are looking for nerdy girls because most of my friends that I hang out with aren't nerdy and because I tend to dress and act more like a mundane (but trust me, I am very nerdy. Grew up at SF conventions) Then, the type of guys that normally approach me are turned off once they realize I'm nerdy. So remember to look for the nerdy girl hidden amongst the mundanes!

IGPNicki said...

As the nerdy girl who runs her own scifi site, yes, I can totally relate. One of my favourites was when my husband and I had just bought our house and splurged on decorating stuff, and I bought all these crazy gargoyles. Some body came to the house and was all "wow, what's Nicki gonna say about all thsoe gargoyles?" My husbands response is "are you kidding? Those are all hers." lol, though thankfully, he's equally nerdy. We could shut people out of conversations by just starting to randomly quote Aliens, or Star Wars or Firefly...
http://www.igp-scifi.com

Anonymous said...

Hottest nerd girl, ever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJZ6JJN_ON4

Stephanie said...

Just found your blog and adore it! I also resemble this list.

I'd love to see the sequel and wonder where exactly does one find guys who are looking for nerdy girls?

Walter said...

Funny, I initially thought #1, "Know where to look", meant at her face rather than her chest.

I'm powerfully attracted to brainy women. If I visit a woman and she has a bookcase full of intelligent reading (classic lit, science, technical, fantasy, etc), a video collection that is <3% chick flicks and >75% Sci-Fi (bonus points for any Joss Whedon boxed set), a computer SHE is working on (either hardware or OS) strewn on the table, and a Bat'leth on the wall, I might just propose on the spot.
T'Pol, Seven-of-nine, Samantha Carter, and Kaylee would be my freebie list; she wouldn't be threatened though because she'd know I mean the actual characters (and she already has a Leia slave girl costume in the closet). ;-)

Bleyddyn said...

> #11: Bonus points if you have a Zombie Survival Kit.

It's amazing how similar a ZSK is to a run of the mill earthquake/hurricane/pandemic survival kit. Either way, every geek should have one. Non-geeks, too, of course, but they're not under discussion here.

Julie said...

I approve of this message. :)

Sara Jo said...

Know what would be the greatest gift? A day at a spa where they have Firefly playing all day long.

Anonymous said...

Whoever told you people that liking books and liking to read is 'nerdy'? Many celebs love to read.. they are nerdy? Ha, nerdy, idolized, and fawned over and wealthy successful, then! Explain that!

None of the things in this list make u nerdy, other than the comic book guy thing and the convention wear. And I have no idea who this Lemon person is.

mandy said...

I'm going to print this out and start giving it to potential dates, lol.

Sarah said...

I would definitely like to see a follow-up post about how to meet and woo a nerdy guy. I wish I had one. :)

crone51 said...

This is splendid. I am rather disturbed that apparently being nerdy is now "cool". I never aspired to cool. I like nerdy.

ralfast said...

Does it help to weave obscure HP, WoW and Whovian reference in your novel (and that your write novels in the first place)?

moritheil said...

Alas, it's always the manifestation of some creepy new human trafficking trend. Meat market forces at work :(

Baylink said...

@Lisa WorldCon 09 *is* coming up soon.

(Montreal, August)

Anonymous said...

I think us awesome geeks and such need our own pin or bracelet to signal our inner geek to one another - sometimes I look far too dapper for a geek, and hate the thought that I may one day walk right by my soulmate with whom I can discuss the relative merits of the various classic Who companions... *dreamy sigh*

Ivriniel said...

There needs to be something here about Ren Faires.

agent57 said...

Anonymous @ 7:11 PM - Maybe the celebs are secret nerds? Did you know that Vin Diesel owns a video game studio and is a Dungeons and Dragons fan? I'm just saying...

Anonymous @ 9:57 PM - You could always wear something TARDIS shaped?

The Nerdy Bird said...

Well, I am an expert and I must say, #2 !!! Swooooon. (for Tennant)

Amauriel said...

My husband and I are what I would consider the true "Nerdy" couple.

We had our one year dating anniversary at a Soul Calibur II tourney and followed it up with some Merlot. He wrote me a song on his guitar and wrote me a letter in which he complimented my Monty Python knowledge and presented it to me before we went out.

My favorite of his gifts to me was the one-two punch of Valentine's and my birthday when we first started dating (they are only a week apart, poor guy). The Valentine's gift--a Dreamcast console with a silver necklace inside the CD tray (I don't wear yellow gold). The Birthday Gift--he informs me that he wanted to get me gold, and when I started to complain, he handed me an old NES gold Zelda cartridge.

I think that the biggest thing to remember about nerdy girls or guys is that they are still people, just like you are, but present themselves differently. Saying "I've got a bad feeling about this" may not only be a Star Wars reference, but may also be their opinion of the current situation. Be understanding of their feelings behind the quotes and discussions.

Anonymous said...

wow, i really thought i was a nerd. maybe i'm a dork instead. what's the difference? i do love david tennant and firefly, but the rest i don't really get. i feel like a poser nerd now. lol. it is a cute list though. just wondering, how many americans like doctor who? i love it, but i don't know anyone else who gets it.

Hpets said...

Utter brilliance!

I might add (somewhat along the comment about flowers vs. books): For goodness sake, don't use cheesy romance lines. You will get called on it and mocked for it. ;)

I think my boyfriend and I have managed to make each other more of nerds. Among other things, I introduced him to Joss Whedon and he introduced me to D&D. :)

strawberryJAMM said...

For possible tips on how to meet and woo nerdy boys check out this "Nerd Fighters" YouTube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFiApf_m4H0

Megan said...

Instead of buying flowers my boyfriend buys me potted plants.. Also, I'm not big on books (though I just got finished reading Leonard Nemoy's first autobiography), it also helps to play or at least know something about D&D. Oh, and don't bring up whether star wars is better than Star Trek (Trek will always win)

Jeff said...

If the "How to Woo a Nerdy Boy" follow-up is still in the works, I would highly recommend using "Don't judge a book by its cover" to the list. Some of us aren't completely nerdy. If a girl can pick out the nerdy guy in hiding, she too should be able to pick out the inner nerd. Just because a guy played football in high school, doesn't mean he isn't, say, a member of the Rooster Teeth community, or a fan of Chuck Klosterman's, etc.

john marzan said...

npr? what if i'm not a left winger? how about foxnews (special report w/ bret baier)? will it work too?

Henry said...

Wow...you "Nerdy Girls" are awesome. I always thought you were like the mythical Unicorn or Dragon that people would loved to exist...but you do apparently. This fills me with hope & excitement!

Okay now that I got that out of the way... =)

This list seems to be more of a guide for a "non-nerdy" guy to woo a "Nerdy Girl". Wouldn't a "Nerdy Guy" have much of the same interests thereby making everything effortlessly for both? I know if I ever met a girl who was into video game, pop culture movie references, cool collectibles, and knows what to do in a zombie attack....I'd be hyperventilating saying "OMG! OMG! Me too! Me too!".

If you do a list for "Woo a Nerdy Guy", I think a really good pointer is for a girl to confident & strong and not afraid to "take charge". Don't get this mixed up with being overbearing or "always right"....more along the lines of being an equal. It's kind of like how in Sci-Fi shows, women can be the "strong" characters without seeming bitchy or negative. While this may make non-nerdy guys really uncomfortable or dread this....Nerdy Guys LOVE this. They're looking for an equal, somebody they can respect & admire....a best friend, not a "damsel in distress" who can't help out because she broke a nail or a heel, LOL.

Another point I can offer is to try to be more rational & logical than emotional. Having emotional moments is fine & understandable, but being emotional all the time to the point of acting irrational, illogical, and unreasonable is a major turn off. It'll put you in the "damsel in distress" category, which you're not.

I think some of the points for "Woo a Nerdy Girl" will work the same for "Woo a Nerdy Guy"....be interesting, intelligent and accepting of the Nerdy Guy's nerdy interests.

One last thing, I think communication is important as well. You know how they say guys are obvious to when a girl say "I'm fine" (Grit teeth). Nerdy guys might be even more obvious to stuff like that or common courtesy/educate things like that. We may be smarter, but that makes us more distracted by our thoughts and oblivious. =) Plus we also expect that you're a big girl and can verbalize what's on your mind.

Henry
Feel free to say "Hi" to me on twitter. ;)

agent57 said...

"Wouldn't a "Nerdy Guy" have much of the same interests thereby making everything effortlessly for both?"

You would think so, but in my case the nerdy part gets in the way of any social interaction being effortless.

Iain Collins said...

This is interesting - I look exactly like what would happen if John Hodgman and David Tennant had a baby.

I just realized I am, presumably, the physical manifestation of what every geek girl lusts after[1].

I am full of win! :D

[1] Nathan Fillion not withstanding - Captain Hammer in Dr Horrible's Sing Along Blog is my secret weapon against him.

juggers said...

I think you're confusing 'nerdy' with 'socially withdrawn' here. I'm proud to be a chic geek, and an undefinable one at that.

iko said...

As a nerdy, geeky girl with her own nerdy, geeky guy, I thoroughly enjoyed this article and all the wonderful comments. Thank you so much!

Turner said...

For knowing what to do in a zombie attack, it's probably as simple as looking around wherever you are, picking something that looks like it could bust some zombie heads, and rate the place for Zombie defense.

Bonus points if you pick out a weapon for her, n'est-ce pas?

Greg said...

As long as Summer Glau gets to be on my freebie list it's all good.

geekgirl said...

Henry - Interesting thoughts on how to woo a nerdy guy.

I would want to clarify, though, that even nerdy guys need to make an effort to be sensitive and observant (no matter what a "big girl" she may be) and can't just push that on her by saying "Well, just speak your mind then."

Also, re: "having emotional moments is fine & understandable" - um, yes. That is the nature of the human condition. Any nerdy guy needs to be open and accepting of the range of human emotion and not use "rationality" as an excuse to sidestep them. A good partner looks out for and tries to meet their partner's emotional needs. Don't think just because she's nerdy, or you are, that you don't have to deal with messy human emotions.

Anonymous said...

Where was this list 25 years ago when I needed it?

In my experience, many men who would like to date a nerdy girl are bewildered by the process of starting a conversation with one. Most have been cruelly shot down in early, inept attempts to communicate with non-nerdy women on an intelligent level, and verge on anxiety attacks when they even consider saying "hello" to a woman that they haven't known casually for two years or more.

Fortunately nerdy guys are likely to be found in many of the same places as nerdy girls. Any guide on dating a nerdy guy should include "start the conversation". That guy staring at you from 40+ feet away may in fact not be the stalker type, but someone with the nerd guy equivalent of "deer in the headlights". Given that the guy doesn't faint and/or have a coronary at the stress of having a girl actually approach and talk to him (probability about 0.60), you might find an interesting person in there.

Finally, most nerdy guys clean up pretty well. A lot of them don't pay much attention to their appearance, but that's mostly because they have completely given up on the prospect of ever meeting a compatible female, so they just don't bother any more.

pat said...

I agree with everything in the post above this one 100%.

(Just posting to emphasize his points)

Liz said...

Wow, I'm so glad everyone likes the list. What a treat to see so many comments!

To the anonymous poster who suggested pins to show our secret nerdiness, I concur. Actually the husband and I always thought there should be some sort of secret hand signal or odd handshake that we could all be taught at birth. ('Cause babies shake hands, right?)

Amauriel, I love your description of your courtship. Gotta love a man who recognizes the brilliance of a woman's Python knowledge. That's awesome!

Iain, you look like a cross between Hodgman and Tennant? My friend, you have found your people! I think you should print out the list, have it laminated on a small card and flash it whenever your out to meet the ladies. I predict massive success!

And Turner, yes, many extra bonus points if you pick out a zombie attacking weapon for your lady. We like that kind of chivalry in the face of possible apocalypse. :)

Amanda said...

I lived in a small town, and though there were nerdy guys in my school, I think I was a "closet" nerd because most of the girls who would be friends with me were not. However, I met my husband, who is definitely a nerd/geek, in college, and I found my inner-nerd again! It helped that the first week we spent together at school, we ended up in one of our dorm rooms every day watching "Monty Python" movies. We've since grown a large group of nerd/geek friends, play D&D and board games (non-traditional, mind) monthly, and try to catch up on everything SciFi/geeky with our DVR. We also love us some conventions, and it was my husband who got me to go to them. I wish I had been more comfortable with my nerdiness when I was growing up, but then, I probably would have never met my awesome hubby. Thanks for posting this!

Amanda said...

Oh, and EDIT TO ADD to my last post: Currently, I'm sewing a wizard's cloak for my husband (for belated Father's Day present), while he's make me a chain-mail bikini w/matching skirt for my birthday. Yeah, we're total nerds.

sayssara said...

Yep, I am a Nerdy Girl too!

Actually I met my husband playing Dungeons & Dragons...need I say more???

Sara

The Science Manly said...

I LOVE this list ... is my new bible!

Something to add:
Nothin is better to get into her good graces than a surprise gift to her collection that she does not have. A hard-to-find DVD, a new copy of favourite worn-out book, or a collection of her favourite comic books.

And, her favourite line (and something that gives all us guys hope) is:
"Do, or do not. There is no try"

You have a new supporter Park Bench!!!

Stephanie said...

Instead of giving your girl a drawer as a sign of your commitment to a long-term relationship, give her a bookshelf. She'll appreciate it more.

Susania said...

utterly, utterly brilliant.

Although I would add David Mitchell to the Tennant/Hodgman pics.

Spot on!

Turkeylurkey said...

LOL - Love this! Oh and watch out for the FMZ! (Fast moving zombies)

Alexis said...

For #2, "it helps to look like this guy"--David Tennant, I personally think it should be "it helps to BE this guy", but that's just me.

Anonymous said...

If you email her, make sure to use proper grammar. Nothing turns a nerd girl off faster than, "U r hottt." Or something to that extent.

Beacon80 said...

I am opposed to this list. Why, you might ask? Because, as a geek, it tells me nothing. I do just about everything on this list without being told. All this does is help non-geeks pick up nerdy girls, and the male:female geek ratio isn't strong enough for that!
Also, girls, wouldn't you rather have a guy who does all that because he wants to, and not just to impress you?

tenor_mongoose said...

I've got something to add, on reflection. Do not assume that all nerd/geek girls are the same. There are computer geeks, SF geeks, fantasy geeks, historical geeks, maths geeks, science geeks, music geeks... the list is endless. Just because Yoda you can quote, does not necessarily mean a history geek you can impress. :-)

(Incidentally, I'm mainly a baroque music geek. This is possibly one of the more obscure categories. Not that I can't also geek maths and science quite happily!)

Flamewar said...

This is SO spot on! Except for the NPR thing... I get sick of listening to the depressing news. I search out the important stuff that I need/want to know online. If I'm listening to the radio, it's music. Usually oldies.
I'm totally posting this link everywhere I internet!
Awesomesauce!

Terry Drosdak said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE this article!!!

As to how to meet a nerdy guy... this is the EASIEST thing in the world. They're everywhere! Fan conventions, comic book boards, the opening night of any comic book film. I met my hubby at the comic book store. As to how to woo him... start with "Hello."

Beacon80 said...

I have to agree with Terry. Just go to a bookstore and look for whoever's hanging around in the sci-fi section. When in doubt, read what's written on his shirt. That's almost always a dead giveaway.

Stephanie said...

Haha this was great!

Even though I love partying it out at a bar/club when the occasion calls for it, I'm much more likely to be sitting with my fellow nerds rewatching our box sets, as well.

As for number 8, I think I might marry a boy who told me I reminded him of Buffy Summers. ;)

And yes, the collectibles are SO important. I know with non-nerdy guys, I might get a little embarrassed for them to see my endless figurines, autograph photos, and weapon replicas displayed proudly in my living room.

Also, I think adding that dressing properly is a big turn on for nerdy girls. Even though the stereotype is that you live in a dank basement, don't dress like you do. Proper grooming and clothing goes a LONG way for the nerdy ladies.

Great list!

tenor_mongoose said...

Stephanie... I mostly agree. On the other hand, is there anything quite so adorable as a man who really does his best to dress beautifully and can't quite get it to work? Then you can tell him his tie's got a formatting error. :-)

Stephanie said...

tenor_mongoose-- Hahaha, very true!! It is fun to teach the nerdy men how to dress, too, if they can't figure it out on their own!

Adam said...

I went on a date with someone I thought was a nerdy girl a few months ago. She made a comment about R.O.U.S's and I said that I don't think they exist. But that was the only date we had.

So, thanks for your list! As a nerdy boy, I will say that many of the things on the list transfer directly (substitute Jewel Staite for Nathan Fillion and you've got it).

I have several shelves of DVDs: the top is everything by Joss Whedon since 1997, then ST:TNG and Battlestar. If those two shelves scare you away, it's probably not meant to be. Oh, and my movies are arranged alphabetically by studio. (is that strange?)

Thanks again for the list. I would much appreciate the nerdy boy one to see how many criteria I meet.

(Oh, heck, I guess Nathan Fillion can stay.)

Beacon80 said...

Stephanie: Does dressing in Victorian steampunk count? It's geeky and formal. Or is that taking it too far?

Anonymous said...

Umm, Love this list! There are indeed multiple geek girl categories. I go to Dorkbot, make robots, and swoon for geeky men. I thought Weird Al's, White and Nerdy" was sexy, happy music. I have a guide for surviving zombie attacks, and I game-lite. Sixty cases of books, not all sci fi or fantasy. My current boyfriends make robots. We had an evening of robot movies, Wall-e & short circuit. If you need an NPR anti-dote-try Ted talks at Ted.com and hear about science...Swoon, I tell you, I swoon before nerdy men. Talk nerdy to me!

Stephanie said...

Beacon80-- If the girl's into it, I say go for it! :)

Jaradel said...

My husband and I are a happy nerd couple. We met on IRC :)

I didn't know drinking microbrew pale ales was a nerd girl thing - wow! I'm even nerdier than I thought!

David Tennant is absolutely on my "freebie" list. To be fair, Teri Hatcher (from her "Lois and Clark" days) is on my husband's.

I would also add that knowledge of British television - both classics and current - is also helpful for wooing a nerdy girl. Bonus points if you can connect any British actor to David Tennant in six degrees or less.

Cymru Llewes said...

One of the first comments said to buy us books. I think it would be better if the guy would loan us a book, after all, what better way to check ~his~ nerdy credentials? (I think we had a dozen overlapping books when I got married.

Amy Pronovost said...

Hellz yeah to this list. :D

OthelloNYC said...

I have like 85% of this list down pat, only I don't listen to NPR (prefer to read an assortment of websites for news), and I look a LOT more like Andre the Giant than like those two guys. Which, honestly puts me into this weird "nerdy ex bouncer" category where the fact that I used to moonlight as a bouncer overshadows the fact that I develop software for a living...

Iain Collins said...

Thanks Liz! The guide is inspiring (and practical).

Unfortunately I think I'm the 'bad' version of what you'd get if you cross Hodgman and Tennant, the "Rico" to "Joe Dredd".

In the interests of science, I've prepared a handy comparison matrix.

http://iaincollins.com/nerd.png

Sonya said...

Change Number 8 to Ellen Ripley and you have the total definition of me.

I even dated a guy who looked like David Tennant!

WolfRyder said...

I will answer an email as soon as I see it, yet let my cell/landline go to voice mail rather than stop what I'm doing.

I'd rather email, IRC, or F2F than talk on the phone.

I've yet to meet a true nerdy/geeky guy even though I work @ the library.

megan frau said...

This was a great find today on twitter! Thanks!

Poetry said...

This is a fairly heteronormative guide to wooing nerd girls. Some of us nerd girls aren't terribly interested in being wooed by men, and have Freema Agyeman or Morena Baccarin on our "freebie" list instead of Nathan Fillion.

emayinin said...

If only it were as easy as a check list!

agent57 said...

Stephanie - I agree with the dressing thing! I have such a weakness for pinstripes, or a sharp wool coat.

Iain - Excellent chart, sir! And you're really right. Even your hair seems to be at a halfway point between the two!

Henry said...

geekgirl: You're right, communication is a two way street and a Geeky Guy needs to be sensitive and observant too. Rationality is not to be used to sidestep emotions to avoid dealing with them.

I just meant in more extreme cases. I think Geeky Guys tend to be totally put off by "Drama Queens"...or at least I am. I feel some drama is fine, but when it's over the top & frequent, it's super irritating. However I guess the good thing is most Nerdy Girls don't tend to be "Drama Queens" (?), or so I'm hoping.

But anyways yeah, the onus isn't all on the girl. Both people have to contribute and work at the relationship to build something wonderful.

Anonymous (below geekgirl): I totally agree, I think a lot of guys are shy in starting the conversation with the Nerdy Girl because they've been shot down so many times before by the non-nerdy girls. I have felt like a deer in headlights or a stalker in innocent situations myself before. Girls on the other end of the spectrum of Nerdy Girls, tend to be quite brutal in declining the interest of the Geeky Guys. Usually giving him the complex that he did something wrong by him merely liking the girl. So, probably the best way to woo a Geeky Guy is to initiate a friendly conversation with them.

Now I'm not trying to put the onus back on the girls again here, but playing "hard to get" is even more less likely to work on a Geeky Guy. Geeky guys probably are more likely to be hesitant to initiate & more deathly afraid of rejection than the non-geeky & especially the "Jerky guys".

I actually think it's a Tactical Advantage for the interested girl to engage first: 1) It shows that you're strong, which geeky guys love. 2) The Geeky guy is less likely to be freaked out because he hasn't had the time to over-analyze the situation beforehand in his mind. 3) You're in control because you started, you'll be able to find out things you want to know about the guy easier, as it'll likely be the truth as the guy hasn't had a chance to think up of a "front". 4) If the guy's not good at initiating with girls, chances are he's more likely going to reciprocate interest in you, and he's less likely to have a have a "wandering eye" (for the sake of argument, even if he does he's going to be really bad at doing anything about it). 5) If you like what you see, why the heck aren't you doing anything (same goes for the guy). If the geeky guy "drops the ball", you might as well go over there to help pick it up. Otherwise you both dropped the ball...and that'll be tragic for both of you as you both lose out.

Henry

Fireye said...

Having just come back from a date with a terrific nerd girl, I can proudly say I fulfilled a decent portion of these tips!

Now... to catch up on 30rock and prep for the imminent zombie invasion.

UK said...

Great list! I would like to note, however, that most of it actually would work on me, a nerdyish guy (the exception being number 4).
Oh, and I already have an English accent, albeit an Estuary/London one...
And David Mitchell should also be in number 2, as posted above ( though personally, if transposing the gender, I would have pics of Kaylee, Ivanova and Sarah Jane Smith...)

Will said...

Wow. I literally have never even heard of a girl fitting the descriptions on this list. Looks like I've been looking in all the wrong places, indeed. Gotta say, if I saw a miniature TARDIS in a girl's apartment, I'd probably start looking for the nearest cunnilingus-friendly flat surface.

Maria Stahl said...

Loveitloveitloveit!

My husband I actually have a zombie attack plan. Really.

Noor said...

And don't ever break into a conversation between two nerdy girls with the following:

Hi, I saw you girls talking seriously, and figured you were either talking about a guy or Britney Spears...

I promise you, you will get nowhere. Nowhere!

TheStratocaster said...

unfortunately I have never met a girl like this. Girls like this are an urban legend.

Liz said...

Iain, your comparison matrix was absolutely brilliant. I loved it.

Jillianne said...

Guys, WE'RE HERE! LIVE NERD GIRLS! I'm sorry that you haven't found me, yet, but I totally fit this criteria. I found this list great and insightful, and hopefully, it will do someone some good and teach guys to just be nicer, in general, to the nerd girls:)

Beacon80 said...

Jillianne: Don't suppose you're in your late 20's and in San Diego? ^_^
On a more serious note, geeks like me are very shy, so if you think you see one of us, make the first move, odds are they'll reciprocate.
I've asked 2 girls out in my entire life. Would have been three, but it's hard to approach a girl when you're mother's with you.

Felipe said...

Ahhh, now that made me also want a nerdy girlfriend. I am already a nerd, and now I want a nerdy girlfriend that is more nerdy and has bigger and rounder glasses than me. I just hope she loves Mario video-games (specially the Mario Party series) and RPG Maker so much as I do, because if not...

By the way, I would like to add another tip:

Tip #12: Knowing where one's towel is.
Somebody who can stay in control of virtually any situation is somebody who is said to know where his or her towel is. And everyday, not only on Towel Day.

I always know where my towel is. It's inside my wardrobe. Either to keep me from hearing a Vogon poem or to save myself from the killer rabbit of Caerbannog my towel is always on hand.

Andrea said...

I am a female electrical engineering grad student and will go ahead and say:

# 1 definitely, I am so attracted to used bookstores
# 2 my boyfriend looks like the perfect blend of those two pictures :D
# 3 I've jokingly yelled at one or two guys for faking interest in books (if you can believe anyone would fake READING)
# 4 ahahahaha, I kick ass at video games
# 5 NPR sucks sucks sucks; I'm a bit of a political nerd too and am too economically conservative (but socially the other way) to buy NPR-based conversation
# 6 Yes, interesting is key for all girls
# 7 lack of pop culture knowledge will just make her give you a hard time, no end of the world, unless you try to talk about New Kids on the Block as if that would be 'her thing' (unbelievable, but that happened to me once)
# 8 Ummm, a true nerdy girl is way more successful than Liz Lemon (in love and life)
# 9 I guess I do have hidden collectibles ...
# 10 I haven't wanted to go to a convention since high school, but I guess it applies then.
# 11 Yes.

I think I would somehow add that the beauty of girl nerds is that we understand and embrace the tech/science/literary/anything else obsessiveness of guy nerds :) and that they should know that.

RL said...

nerdy implies bookworm-smart....the above is more to attract "dorky" girls....not that there's anything wrong with dorky girls

Roger said...

I guess I'm one of those old geek guys now, I had to look up Liz Lemon (Tina Fey! w00t!).

And for the zombie attacks use something with a high velocity, but in low caliber. An AR15 or a .30 is fine, just make sure you have a laser sight with good long and intermediate scopes, selectable rate of fire (single, 3 round, full auto), multiple high capacity clips, and some bouncing betties. Claymores will cut them down so they can't come at you, but it leaves them making that awful moaning noise in your front yard. The Betty jumps up to head height and pops some nice carbon steel into their cranial cavities.

Handgun: Beretta 93R & Beretta 92 (any model). Both are chambered for 9mm and take the same clips. The 93 shoots in 3 round bursts (Robocop) and the 92 is a great backup. Have a small .38 detective special for emergency backup and a derringer in at least .30. The last one is for you.

DrugCrazed said...

Its so hard for us geek males to pluck up the courage to ask anyone out. I can give myself as an example. My current gf (And if I'm honest, my only) it took me a whole week to ask her out. A whole week. And that still includes times when we were alone and I just was terrified to ask it. So please girls, make your geek's life much easier by asking first. We get scared very easily.

Tips for keeping your male geek happy? I'd say if you need some space, just chuck a game/book/[insert whatever his favourite thing is here] at him and he'll probably leave you alone for as long as you need. If you need to get him back, shout 'Look! Summer Glau/Jewel Straite/[insert favourite character here] just walked round the corner!' That'll usually get our attention for about 5 seconds, so you have a window to grab him. And whatever you do, DON'T SWITCH OFF HIS PC OR HE WILL CRY. And take him to see Transformers. He'll do anything for you then ;)

dynamicproxy said...

@Beacon80 and all other guys: I subscribed to David D'Angelo's Double Your Dating mailing list.

I have been able to understand women better thanks to his advice.

While you get busy reading his mailing list posts which come once a week, here are some things that worked for me:
- Excel at what I do

- Understand myself better

- Focus on my inner self and become so busy at multiple things that I don't feel the need to have a woman in life. I got this advice from one of his posts, where he explained that becoming active in multiple things changes us for the better as a person, reduces the perceivable desperation for female company, and helps us have multiple good points for others to notice us on.

Note: His advice is not about changing yourselves, but about doing more positive things. At least I took it that way, and it has worked for me a lot.

I can happily say that I understand and respect women much more today than before.

Anonymous said...

You all realize that all this list does is describe the people nerd girls would be into. I read the list and see aspects of my own personality to the extent that it angers me. The last thing we need is people from other walks of life "playing nerds" to steal the nerdy girls from the true nerds that would actually make them happy. You wanna do something really worthwhile, give us a forum for actually meeting people.

Anonymous said...

I see some people think this is an actual dating site instead of a comedy/pop culture blog. Comedy people, comedy. Not eHarmony.

scarymary said...

Be prepared for day-long marathons of star wars, star trek or lord of the rings. AND NO COMPLAINING. patience is always rewarded, haha...

scarymary said...

ps. this list is entirely me except for a partiality to NPR. cant stand it. boys, we do exist haha you just gotta know where to look.

agent57 said...

Roger - I disagree, I much prefer a nice melee weapon. You have to let them come closer, which is always risky, but you don't have to worry about your aim as much, nor about carrying around boxes of ammo. Preferably something heavy, with a long reach, like a lead pipe. Sadly, I don't know where one even finds lead pipes anymore... maybe a shovel instead. Swords are good if you know how to use them.

Also, if you happen to panic (which is already a bad idea in this situation) it's easier to hit something by flailing at it with a heavy/stabby object than by shooting at it at random. "A bullet, you see, may go anywhere, but steel's almost bound to go somewhere." (Dorothy Sayers... I just remembered the quote and it was perfect.)

And to all the guys telling woeful stories about how hard it is to ask a girl out... It's sadly not always easy from the other end. I'm not saying that's a good excuse, but there it is. I suppose we should each try for a halfway point?

Katherine said...

As the nerdy mother of a couple of nerdy men, learn to play D&D and find a group to play with. There are very few women who play.

1337 h4x0r ch1x said...

Wow, this is pretty much perfect! Now if only some guys in my area would catch on...

Aarwenn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Niki said...

aramblingfancy I would disagree with your no-flowers suggestion, as a flower nerd I would welcome flowers, so long as the giver knows what flowers/variety they are. I would regard it as an indication that the flowers were well-chosen. And extra marks for giving Fairtrade or home-grown flowers.

christine (threedogknits) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sarah said...

My husband and I met in a line for a reading and signing by Neil Gaiman. When he came around again two years later, we gave him an invitation to our wedding. (He couldn't come, of course, but signed extra books for us!)

900 sq ft apartment, 17 bookcases, six longboxes under the bed, four computers. I knit him a special scarf for Pi Day. He slays my Jabberwocks for me. It's a match made in Heaven.

John Bubbles said...

Pin-ups ftl. Nerdy Girls <3
Xbox LIVE Girls even better.

Seanna Lea said...

And the references don't have to be Doctor Who or Star Trek. I love Black Adder and Red Dwarf as much as I love the others, and find it much easier to quote.

dementedwitch said...

hmmm.. I actually party. When i went to Vegas in 2006, instead of heading down the strip for some poker.. i actually spent hours in Star Trek The Experience over at Hilton. And when ST 11 was shown, I actually watched it in uniform with fellow trekkers over at IMAX :)... I also love gaming especially D&D

Jeffrey Nichols said...

This would totally work on my nerdy girlfriend. I <3 her.

GetGlam said...

Are you talking about me?

Winthrop said...

After reading this, I'm definitely following your blog!

jackr said...

So, do I get points for knowing WHY Liz picked season four of the Doctor? Gotta be the Weeping Angels!

Graemejg said...

I am a big fan of the nerdy girl...the trouble is that despite my several nerd like qualities (HUGE Joss fan, comic books, sci-fi movie/tv in general and gaming) I look nothing at all like a nerd. I have sort of a punky/rock-a-billy thing going on. Tattoos and wallet chains with chucks and a pompadour...that's sorta my look.

scary mary said...

Graemejg: even if you dont look like a nerd, you can still find/woo a nerdy girl by showing your nerd side with the things you do and say... or just wear a zelda shirt with your wallet chains and chucks. i myself am a huge nerd and i dress kinda punky. i make star wars and star trek shirts haha.

OthelloNYC said...

scary mary: that's all good and well when they make stuff like that in your size. They don't really make Star Wars stuff for cave trolls...

Monica said...

Jackr - sorry, but the Weeping Angels were season three, not season four! All the same, knowing about the Weeping Angels makes you more attractive...

Carys said...

This is the most brilliant thing I've read for AGES. Being British I'll admit I had to Google a couple of references, but overall this is geeky girls to a TEE. My geeky boyfriend and I met in my first year of uni (his third) and he mentioned to me shortly after we started dating that we knew I was the one for him after he saw that I had the same poster for Spider-Man 3 on my wall as he did. What a shame that film sucked. He has bought me numerous Doctor Who related presents (the most recent being the Laser Screwdriver - AWESOME) and when I started knitting my 4th Doctor scarf (in the middle of April) all he had were words of encouragement. Consequently, I treat him to graphic novels (the Marvel Civil War collection is a favourite at the minute) and we regularly hit the cinema for the sci-fi films.

Oh, and he's ginger. I count this as an EPIC WIN seeing as the 10th doctor HIMSELF commented that he wanted to be ginger. :)

In relation to Wooing A Nerdy Guy, I would say this list would mostly suffice; the crucial thing is to make sure he shares (or at least appreciates) your sense of humour. Boy and I both share a love of Spaced and Scrubs, and our jokes reflect that. If you're more into the maths jokes while he likes the Shakespeare* goodies, just make sure you both understand each others punchlines. And I mean that in a totally not rude way.

GEEK GIRLS RULE! :)

*While we're on the subject, THE BEST SHAKESPEARE JOKE EVER comes from Measure For Measure when two characters discussing the arrest of a chap who had (shock horror) pre-marital sex with his fiance and got her preggers:

MISTRESS OVERDONE
How now! what's the news with you?

POMPEY
Yonder man is carried to prison.

MISTRESS OVERDONE
Well; what has he done?

POMPEY
A woman.


LOL.

Emily St Aubert said...

Someone else it might help to look/be like is Sheldon Cooper off TBBT...

Anonymous said...

This is really lame. If girls like this exist, they deserve to be single. Why would anybody WANT one of these greyskinned heterosexual lesbians?

Graeme said...

Scary Mary:

I would, but I do have trouble with getting shirts I like, and that fit. Plus, I tend to be more subtle with my geekiness. I have a Blue Sun shirt, but not a "Firefly" shirt...get what I mean?

But thanks for the tips...I'm definitely going to be looking for more me approved geek wear. lol.

Beacon80 said...

Anonymous, I'm not sure exactly what you mean by "greyskinned heterosexual lesbians". Oxy-morons aside, I just really don't get what you're trying to say here.
As for who would want a girl like this... well, every guy who's posted here except you, for starters. Smart nerdy guys want nerdy girls. Given the choice between a girl who wants to drag me off to shop for 3 hours and a girl who can kick my ass in Smash Brothers, I'll take the later every time.

Bechamel said...

I'm gathering from this list and comments that those of us who consider ourselves nerds, but just aren't interested in sci-fi (and are unwilling to fake it) are pretty well screwed? I can talk math, science, computers - pretty much anything real-life - any chance for a guy like me?

crden said...

[i]Maybe you ladies who snagged a nerdy man yourselves could offer some hints?[/i]

Oh, snagging nerdy men was not hard for me, as I'm a mathematician. Nerdy guys are everywhere around me, and math events are, um, a native habitat. I met my husband while studying math abroad.

Um.....talk to them when you meet them. Share your love of nerdy, geeky stuff. Both nerd girls and guys tend to be shy about sharing because so many people are driven off by nerdiness or geekiness, but usually once you get to know them a bit the guys will be flattered if you invite them out somewhere without being scary aggressive about it.

Don't run off if their geeky or nerdy habits are not exactly the same as your own. I like knitting, dh likes woodworking. Joint projects are doable, and we each learn about the other's interests enough to make things the other will appreciate. I have someone who will make me spindles. He has someone who's happy to knit him a Dalek. What's not to like?

It's the enthusiasm that was important to me, not just the specific subject matter. With luck, the nerd guy will show you the same courtesy.

PeteSchult said...

I met my Nerdy Wife through folkdancing which seems to have a large number of geeks of both sexes.

Melinda said...

Nice. Great advice. Hurray for nerdy chicks!!

bifemmefatale said...

Also: Many, many nerdy girls are flirt-blind. Say something as blunt as "I like you, would you like to get coffee sometime?" or most of us will think you're just being friendly.

Rob said...

Doesn't this imply that us nerdy guys have to leave our computers, books, and homes? That could be a problem. ;-)

onetruth said...

I adore this list! Reading it and all of these comments makes me feel like I'm part of a big, loving family. You are my people! :-D

My husband and I started out as fellow nerds in high school who became friends due to shared AP classes and similar tastes in movies---Star Wars, Star Trek, Indiana Jones, Excalibur. We could work a quote from any of the first three Star Wars movies into just about any conversation, and it was during a long car ride that I let him to hear my imitation of R2D2 screaming. I knew it was love when he wrote in a birthday card that I was the "Star War-iest person" he knew. We've been married now for 22 years, and he is still my best friend and soulmate.

catie said...

woo her with something OTHER than flowers. My baby brother woo'd his wife with mail order ribs.

Andrew said...

Being a "Nerdy Guy" myself, I loved this list it gave me a lot of ideas of how to meet the nerdy girl of my dreams. Thank you so much for the advice. Here I was afraid of my collection as a turn off.

e.marie said...

Found you via notmartha.org--hilarious, esp. 7 & 11. Like Melinda said above, hurray for nerdy chicks!

And I have to say, Iain, after your first comment I clicked immediately on your link hoping to see photographic evidence of this purported Tennant/Hodgeman hybrid...so glad you provided us with the comparison matrix :) Awesome, and spot on!

Anonymous said...

I saw some comments asking about how to meet and get nerdy guys. As a fairly nerdy (and athletic) guy, I'd like to provide some insight.

http://www.cmosnetworks.com/HowToGetAndKeepAGoodMan.html

Here are a few hints, mostly based on the above treatise, adapted specifically for geek dudes.

1.) Ask him out. Yup, first. That goes a long way with nerdy guys. We're just as skittish of rejection as you are, so if you're willing to take that risk too, you get respect from us.

2.) If you're a nerdy girl that doesn't know how to shoot...learn. Not saying we won't take the hit for you--we will--but we also like girls that can defend themselves if we're not around. Also, it takes a whole lot of mental discipline, just like programming, to get good at it. 'S'fun! And yes, they make bullets with silver alloys in them, so werewolves and vampires, beware!

3.) Be nice. None of this anti-man feminism that we see these days. The vast majority of geek dudes are pretty egalitarian anyway.

4.) Be clear to him that you want him if you think he's hot. He doesn't know this, trust me, even if you two are already "seeing" each other. He's absolutely certain you'd slam him down if he told you that he wants you...so he usually won't until he sees a very clear signal from you. And I mean VERY clear. See #1, above.

5.) Be open minded to new things. Since you're a nerdy girl, this likely isn't a problem.

Good luck!

--TP

KillBoY said...

I agree with -TP never give a nerdy guy mixed signals, most had terrible times with girls in school and so are terrified of rejection.

Don't underestimate the number of nerdy guys who get involved alternative rock cultures; it's often an escape.

madkins42 said...

Wow, I always knew I was a little nerdy... But after I read this and saw that I met all the requirements.... I need to go rethink my life... But first I wanna hop on think geek and see if i can order another sonic screw driver...

OthelloNYC said...

As a big nerd I do have difficulty asking women out, but it's not fear of rejection. Actually if anything, High School got me SO used to rejection that it's my default state. In fact, what I find is it's harder for me to accept NOT being rejected. Most of my exes thought I didn't like them because I didn't react well to "subtle hints". This is because, as a physically large nerd, I'm used to girls designating me the "non threat", since I'm too much of a geek to date but large enough to provide psychological protection against other guys.

I think a lot of women don't take into account that if a guy is not what most women find attractive, they are far more aware of it than they would be of the few women into that sort of thing.

Also I have to agree with KillBoy: most of my friends in the punk/hardcore scene are big comic and game nerds who fell into the underground because it's a really good way to be respected, or possibly even feared, while not having to conform to the outside world.

Green Martha said...

There needs to be a D&D or roleplaying item on this list, dammit. I'd still be a closet single nerdy girl without that !

Rian said...

I look sort of like Guy #2 up there and I work in a comic book store. Why am I still single?

Anonymous said...

Okay, Most of this is gimme type stuff if you, yourself, are a nerdy guy.

The big trouble I seem to be having is *meeting* nerdy girls who are in fact available.

Look, while I may not watch 30 Rock (I had to look up who Liz Lemon is) I absolutely am the right man to have in case of Zombie Apocalypse (actual, real honest-to-goodness combat experience, kids.) and I am as happy to discuss Graph Theory as the various ins and outs of the Green Lantern Corps.

I have my nerd credentials covered.

What I have trouble with, honestly and truly, is actually meeting available nerdy girls. Most I know are either not single or not actually nerds in that they would fail this sort of test, too. (HIMYM "WOO girls" for instance.)

So yeah, point #1 is pretty much it. The rest, if you're a real actual nerd yourself, as a guy, come with the territory.

Tricia said...

Hah! I LOVE this...and I resemble it WAYYY too much. :)

TFNE said...

Shiny.

Layla said...

You are mixing up "nerdy" with "geeky". I am a nerd, not a geek. I do not play video games, have "collectibles", or go to conventions. I do read a lot and keep up with the news. And will not take kindly to you interrupting either activity, unless you are both attractive to me and have something actually interesting and intelligent to say.

Jenny said...

My nerdy guy tricked me into dating him. We met when we were 2 of the 3 people who showed up one day to a high school chess club. I actually had a crush on the one other guy there. My bf read a book on the side while I played my crush, but overheard me say something about Lisp. Afterwards, he offered to teach me C if I taught him Lisp. I totally wanted to learn C. He proceeded to woo me with his witty and occasionally flirtatious sample code. No, I'm not joking. 11 years later, I explain latent semantic indexing to him, while he soothes my hadoop headaches. ah, love...

Damon said...

great List now only if i could find a Nerdy girl in my little redneck town

gailmom said...

To my mind this list, while fun, falls a bit short. To me, a nerd has intelligence and passion, and it doesn't really matter about what. I myself was raised by nerds and consider myself a serious fan of geek-dom. I have many sff books, follow the blogs of my favorite authors, still weep over the cancellation of Firefly, flew into a rage over the possibility of them canceling Dollhouse (why oh why does Joss keep working with these idiots? Do they have a contract on his soul or something?), consider Joss Whedon a god, had my first crush on Picard, and most of my 600+ DVD collection is sci-fi or comic book based....

...but I never read the comic books, I've only read Tolkien since middle school b/c I had to re-read when the movies came out, and the closest I've come to Dr Who was one episode of Torchwood (which I was incredibly bored by).

I am not a nerd in the sense of many tidbits of knowledge (though I routinely quote Star Trek/Wars, I never read the books and do not know the details well enough to debate with you) and the only place I geek out is my kids and tree-hugging.

But I love to see the nerds in my life geeking about their passion, whether it's the auction house on WoW or gardening or the act of translating modern phrases into latin (potatoes prepared in the manner of the Gauls, anyone?).

(Nerd seems best used as noun, geek as verb)

Giggle at the list, bond in the comments, be reassured that nerd girls exist in the world, keep looking and don't be embarrassed to show your passion...but don't think that you can't find love with someone if they don't have collectibles on their shelves or the same Spiderman 3 poster on their wall(that was an adorable story btw). Nerd girls come in all shapes and sizes and obsessions, and if you can't find one that fits, you can always look for those of us with geek-appreciation skills and mold us. (My current boyfriend introduced me to WoW, for example, and I am now obsessed enough to Teamspeak while we play every week, and run my alts when he isn't online for us to play together).

Fun post, great comments. Keep looking guys, and for the ladies looking for a nerd guy: just who your passion, don't hide your intelligence and they will flock around you, open mouthed and wide eyed. :)

craftyminx said...

Remember that not everything on the list is true of every girl. For example, there is less crossover between fans of Star Wars and Star Trek than you'd expect: while plenty of people do like both, some like one and vehemently loathe the other. Finding a Trek fan doesn't mean that she likes TOS or TNG; she may only like Voyager. Some will think a fake English accent is cute; others will think it's tedious and cheesy, and will feel the same about excessive Monty Python quoting. I am the rare geek girl who dislikes Nathan Fillion (I preferred Veronica Mars to Firefly). I don't wear geeky slogan t-shirts. Etc.

There are broad stereotypes, but most geek girls are going to go against them in at least one or two ways.

Sergei said...

I disagree with this, as a guy that has been with a few nerdy women in my day.

my strategy is this:
#1 treat them to new experiences
#2 bring up their nerdy habits as little as possible

basically, just about every guy in a nerd girls life says "i like the same quirky things you do, lets go out". Be it gamer girls, cosplay girls, etc

Anonymous said...

Hey, I'm from Nova Scotia, and we don't often have floods!!!! LOL

Eric said...

Don't be fat. that seems to matter because other than #2 I'm pretty good with all of the above, just go back from convention couple days ago where i was dresses as Optimus Prime!

Eric said...

Oh and here's proof.
http://shadowmaginis.deviantart.com/art/Optimus-San-Japan-133523503
that's me!

Anonymous said...

For the record, the Liz Lemon reference, it was a model train made of Legos. And she used it as her robot penis.

Anonymous said...

How to woo a nerdy guy:

1. Walk up to him and ask him out.

The End.

Anonymous said...

Nerdy isn't always pretentious...

Alex said...

#2 is absolutely perfect! That and #11 are the best on the list! =)

Kristen said...

Play an mmorpg! WOW, especially! I love a man who will run me through DM when im only level fifteen... =D

Dustin said...

"agent57 said...

- Have an English accent. If you aren't from England, start practicing an affected one. It doesn't even have to be that good, and you only have to use it on occasion. (I'm not saying you should fake your nationality, of course.)"

English accent, huh? Well, I can't do English very well, but I've been told that I can do a killer Indian accent. Will that work? ;)

Mizz Man'e said...

Yeah, I love David Tennant! Can't go wrong looking like him, don't forget the Torchwood boys

nerd guy said...

to all the grils asking where to find a nerd guy:
IN THEIR ROOM!
they're gaming , so get on those servers and ask people

Anonymous said...

Wow. I was a little shocked at how much this list resembles me. But really, is building a TARDIS out of Legos really that strange? :D

Mich said...

Hahaha, speaking as a geek girl myself I LOVE this list. #2 - so true, if you even remotely resemble David Tennant, odds are we will love you. Apparently I'm in the wrong used bookstores & comic shops looking for cute geek guys!

Glad you brought up #11 - zombie preparation is KEY! I'm ecstatic to find I'm not the only person completely obsessed w/ all things zombie related! I thought it was just me!

Now excuse me while I go display all my Doctor Who toys proudly on my bookshelf. =D

SimsKatie said...

For me, it's don't be the guy who thinks Rio de Janeiro is the capital of Brazil, or that they speak Spanish. ie: do the research.

And yes: DVDs or con tickets are much better than jewelery. I want an engagement chicken!

lv2bliberal said...

Indeed. Tennant & Conventions are a winning combination. May I offer proof?...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s88ZbkhPZsQ&feature=channel_page

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the advice. I found it very insightful and I hope useful in the future. But I fear I may not be up to the challenge of wooing a nerd/geek female, due to a few traits that I have.

First of I don’t look anything like any of the people that have been offered up as an aid. I’m quite different in that aspect, I am very easily seen as a jock since I play rugby and enjoy sport thoroughly. I also prefer none geeky cloths, since I feel a lot more confident and think I do look better wearing more ‘popular’ clothing.

I try and watch as much worldly news as I can but don’t often get around to do it, is that bad? I’m also not into the pop culture and tend to stay closer to metal and rock music, so my knowledge is limited about pop.

But for a few points that I can tick of this list is that I enjoy a good read but only recently started to read and I read rather slow (only 12 books in a year and a half, which only totals to four series). I am an avid gamer but only on game consoles and don’t like the type of games like WoW or the other type of games like D&D.

As for the zombie attack, which I’m afraid isn’t going to happen, I suppose I’d be good if it should considering a have a sword on my wall and a rifle in the room next to me with a shed full of tools and a large heath care box.

I was just wondering would my potential good point outweigh the negative and is there any hope for me to be able to find the perfect nerd girl for me?

Hokerou said...

Ahahaha, this is great. I agree with all of these. Especially #1, my friends nag me to go out with them too bars, get drunk and find a girl to score with. They always get the same reply "The kind of girl I want wouldn't be out, getting drunk and trying to find a guy to score with."

Oh, and I have my ZA survival plan :D

Mike said...

Yeeaahhh, but the really good nerdy ones are few and far between.

:p

Anonymous said...

Good god it's all so true! I mean REALLY REALLY true. haha

Monica said...

To the Anonymous poster a few comments above:

There's nothing wrong with having some jock traits! And the fact that you like to read should a major point in your favor, even if you read slowly. But do you consider yourself a geek or a nerd? I think for a lot of nerdy girls, attitude is important. We might be hesitant to date a guy who doesn't affiliate with the geeky crowd. Too often, geeky interests are put down as childish, stupid, or uncool, so if a girl loves sci-fi, comic books, the study of dead languages, or something else geeky or nerdy, she wants someone who will respect that.

If you respect that, it won't matter if you sometimes prefer trendier fashion and sports to a geeky t-shirt and a Doctor Who box set. Just make sure you don't try to change her interests, and make sure she knows that you love her in all her geeky glory.

(Oh, but don't mention your disbelief in the coming zombie apocalypse. It is coming!)

Le Meems said...

This is a really fucking stupid list. People who follow your advice can suck farts out of each other's asses and hold them in like bong loads.
If you don't know what a bong load is kids, maybe one of your books can explain.

Beacon80 said...

Go away, troll. The grown ups are talking.

Anonymous said...

All I want to find is someone intelligent and like-minded. Instead, what I find are women with box-framed glasses reading bastardized $30 copies of Othello using words like "determinism" and "electromagnetic" in an attempt to sound smart.

Likewise, I notice a lot of guys who attempt to look like they're pontificating while drinking Starbucks and using their MacBooks while girls swarm them and say "OMG HE IS LIEK SO INTELLIGENT!11"

Does anyone actually enjoy the less superficial side of being intelligent? That is, actually *knowing* stuff? Are we just living in a make-believe culture where if I dress a certain way and self-consciously think of myself as a nerd I am one? Why do people think that buying a shirt with a binary joke they half understand from Think Geek makes them intelligent? Why is it suddenly "cool" to be a geek again, but being a geek suddenly means saying you're intelligent instead of proving it? Isn't declaring yourself by a title and then pushing hard to hold that image (you can be nonconformist too! just act exactly like me) exactly the opposite of what a "geek" or a "nerd" is?

I'm very confused.

OthelloNYC said...

I have to agree with Anonymous. The whole "geek chic" culture has made finding a true nerd/geek girl nearly impossible, especially in a city like New York where now over half the population tries to look geek/indie/emo/some combination. It's gotten to the point where if I see one more Super Mario or Pac Man cartoon on someone under 25 I will snap. Also when did "being a nerd" equate to "like looking like a fool", as opposed to "knowing and enjoying things most people find too geeky"?

LadyGaga said...

I have found my way home.

Nerdy girl here with her first blog. ^.^

http://christinabrown2009.blogspot.com/

Jen said...

have just discovered this list and it is SO TRUE. I would date pretty much any guy who ticked the boxes on this list :)

and Aramblingfancy - totally have to agree with you on the reason for being single. no one interesting enough :)

Jen

Pennydreadful said...

All hail the nerdy girl! Its just too bad there are more bars in my city than decent coffee houses. Now i know i just need to be myself and ill find an awsome nerd just like me!

Anonymous said...

What do non-nerdy girls do, then, if none of the above?

ThatZen said...

Sigh... if only there were more nerdy girls out there. Just cant find one to woo!

OthelloNYC said...

Much like nerdy/geeky guys, most nerdy girls I meet are undercover, now that the nerd/geek look is trendy. So you have to be alert for geek knowledge, and beware of the geek look without the obsessions.

alaina said...

This article is made of truly epic win.

- Another nerdy girl

Dave said...

Someday I will meet the one for me. Apparently she does not hang out in the places I have been looking. That explains much. My problem has always been that when I do meet someone that is truly compatible with me, she is already taken. I think part of my problem is that I don’t come off as a nerd. I drive a brand new sports car, I have a motorcycle, I listen to heavy metal, have a tattoo, hang out with bikers at times, wear Harley shirts and boots, etc…. but then the other side of me….I can program, I am an IT professional, my home computer is custom built with 15k scsi drives in a level 0 raid, I have no trouble finding Waldo, etc… I think that creates a problem for me, because people who know me, know I am a nerd, but when I go into a place like B&N my appearance doesn’t always scream nerd. Don’t get me wrong, I love to wear sweaters, and shirts with pockets FTW, but I think part of my problem is I am not dressing the right way when I try to meet someone. I wear the nerd gear at work but not in my free time. I guess I should change that. Anyway, best advice I can give to the ladies, is nerdy guys tend to have social anxieties, so if you are brave enough to approach them and try to start a nerdy conversation, you can easily get their attention. d.ruble@mchsi.com

Imhotep said...

My dream girl has always been a "nerdy girl". I am so attracted to and admire intelligent women.

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