Friday, March 14, 2008

An honest day's work for an honest day's pay

Sometimes I think working for a fictional business might be easier than working for the real thing. As with any decision, though, there are pros and cons with taking a new job. For example:

Working at “Cheers”
PRO: Everybody knows my name
CON: What if I’m in hiding?

Working as a CSI
PRO: Working with corpses means no need for office chit-chat
CON: Dead people might eat my brains. Which would suck.

Working on 30 Rock’s “The Girlie Show”
PRO: Liz Lemon and I do each other’s hair and talk about boys
CON: Tracy Jordan likes me so much he takes me out behind the middle school and gets me pregnant.

Working for “The Daily Planet”
PRO: Superman and I are like *this*
CON: Superman’s an attention whore and makes me clap every time he unjams the copier

Working at “Pushing Daisie”’s The Pie Hole
PRO: Have you seen Ned?
CON: Have you seen me walk right into Ned – and die?

Working in the Bartlet White House
PRO: Helping the American people
CON: Between Toby, Josh and Sam, I become the impeachment-inducing intern. God bless America!

Working in “ER”
PRO: Saving sick and injured people
CON: The job never, ever, ever gets cancelled, not even with John Stamos.

Working on “NewsRadio”
PRO: Bill McNeal!
CON: Can’t stop picturing Dave in a dress.

Working at Dunder-Mifflin
PRO: Bears, beets and Battlestar Galactica
CON: One day, Toby WILL snap…

Working for “Boston Legal”’s Crane, Pool and Schmidt
PRO: Fulfill my dream of telling an attorney, “No, sir, YOU are out of order!”
CON: Shouting “Kaaaaaaahhhhnnn!!!!” every time I see Denny Crane


wendy said...

working on Serenity:

Pro: Teh Hott is EVERYWHERE
Con: The amount of unresolved sexual tension in the air might make your head explode. also, Reavers.

Liz said...

Reavers...Captain Tightpants...that'd be a tough call.

Amanda said...

Just like The Doctor, sometimes it's worth the monsters.
(I've been waiting my whole life to make a Doctor Who/Firefly crossover reference.)

agent57 said...

Oh man the Halloween episode of News Radio was the best! Except maybe for the episode where they all found out Dave was Canadian. Man, I miss that show... Thanks for giving it some love!

Anonymous said...

With Pushing Daisies, Ned can only kill you if you've already been dead. So, my personal con would be, "OMG PIE! *eats until 200lbs is gained*"

Plus um. *gropes Ned behind the counter* >.>

Laura said...

Ha Ha Ha!

I'd spend my entire tenure in the Bartlett White House just saying "damn" under my breath every time someone uttered one of those beautifully written and very long sentences.

(Aaron, sigh.)

Josie Thames said...

OMG--this was the funniest thing ever. More!