Tuesday, April 08, 2008

"Ghost Hunters" -- it's the reason we put plastic on the couch

Usually when I write about a TV show, I like to be fairly knowledgeable about it and make sure I've seen at least a few full episodes before I start yapping on about it -- unless it's Sex and the City, which I just harshly judged with no rationale at all. Anyway, I'd like to talk a bit about Sci-Fi Channel's Ghost Hunters. And I'd be glad to speak knowledgeably about it except, you know, it scares the goddamn bejeezus out of me EVERY SINGLE TIME I WATCH IT!

For those of you who haven't seen it, "Ghost Hunters" follows a team of amateur paranormal investigators who go to purportedly haunted locations and see if they can spot a specter. Millions of normal rational people watch this show every week. But this is usually how my viewing of "Ghost Hunters" goes. We'll do it like a little story:

It's a dark and stormy night. Liz sits down with her ice cream sandwich ready to be entertained by the magic of television. She flips through the channels and stumbles on "Ghost Hunters." Which she starts watching. Like an idiot. She figures it can't possibly scare her as much as it did last time. Her husband walks past and says, "Don't watch that. You're going to get scared." Liz scoffs, telling him he doesn't know what he's talking about...and 20 minutes later, is too scared to walk into the kitchen which is connected to the basement which her imagination now tells her is, in all likelihood, connected to one of three things: the Amityville House, a nest full of zombies or Hell.

Yes, "Ghost Hunters" does bad things to me even though I'm completely convinced it's all fake and silly...except for the parts where they hear voices and see scary shapes and say stuff like, "Dude, did you just feel something brush past?" And then I wet myself.

I am highly susceptible to ghost stories. I've known a lot of people who have seen weird stuff. And I've seen weird stuff. And I've watched movies where people get eaten by weird stuff so as much as I like to try being rational and, you know, an adult, I can't always muster the backbone. Which is why I have a complete and total love-hate relationship with a show like "Ghost Hunters" that manipulates my every fear yet awakens the "Ghostbusters" nerd in me by talking pseudo-science and using gizmos and gadgets to evaluate paranormal experiences. (Somewhere Scully is scoffing.) And for the most part, the show debunks a lot of scary house nonsense -- but other times, they don't.

Did I mention that's when I wet myself?

Obviously, the solution here is just for me to woman-up and realize that I can't handle this show. But I know I won't. I know there's going to be another one of those evenings where I get stupid and think, "No TV show's going to scare me. I'm an adult. I can handle this completely." And wow, am I ever gonna be wrong.


Jessica said...

Oh, man, I have never heard of this show but I completely want to watch it now.

Anonymous said...

In Canada we have the BBC`s `Most Haunted`. When they showed ghostly wet footprints beside the empty pool on the Queen Mary I was instantly hooked. I don`t believe any of it, of course. I do watch it with the lights on, though.

RedCochina said...

I've never seen Ghost Hunters despite many family members raving about it. Seems kinda hokey to me. I did, however, sleep with the lights on FOR TWO WEEKS after viewing The Blair Witch Project and The Sixth Sense in the same weekend. So maybe it's a good thing I avoid GH. Just in case it's not hokey. :)

amanda said...

My boyfriend love this show. This, and Most Haunted. Naturally, I react to these types of shows the same way you do -- I wet myself and then have nightmares for like, 2 weeks.

I finally got over the show when I saw Hugh Laurie on SNL mocking "Most Haunted." His character passed gas, and the rest of the team spent the sketch trying to figure out what the spectre was trying to say.

sarah said...

I feel the same way with Poltergeist. Everytime I see it on tv, i think "don't do it, change the channel!" but then I get sucked in and watch the whole thing. God that movie is scary...

michelle said...

I became hooked on "Ghost Hunters" when they investigated the Lizzie Borden house and declared that they didn't think any place with a gift shop was haunted.

Jadielady said...

I Love ghost hunters.
Only reason I'm not watching it right now is its on the DVR and I'm watching a thing on mummies.

Hope you don't mind, a few fellow Ghost Hunter fans who are tired of not being able to hear the amazing EVPs and mysterious sounds because of the background noises, have started a petition.